The Magic of the Cup - part IV: a short preview of Tuesday night's BIG replay

Enfield Town versus Eastbourne Borough
Tuesday 30th September 2014 - 7.45pm kick-off
THE FA CUP - QUALIFYING - SECOND ROUND ... REPLAY

I hardly expected to still be writing about the magic of the cup from Enfield's perspective, so far into the tournament; but The Towners earned a fighting draw, away at Priory Lane this Saturday. Their 'reward' is a replay tie this Tuesday night, at Donkey Lane, against their more senior Conference South opponents.

Eastbourne's crest features a stylised Martello coastal defence tower, from the Napoleonic war era; and a real backs-to-the-wall defensive performance was required to earn them the dubious honour of a midweek replay at the QEII.

Another non-league football blog (the long-established "The Cold End") provides excellent coverage of the first tie. I was unable to get along to the game myself, due to some visiting US relatives (see reference to Jack's pro-soccer initiation in my previous blog entry, below). I dropped them at Heathrow at around 2pm; but it was just about too late to make it down to the South coast for the game - and almost certainly too late to get a programme (again, see previous posts). By all accounts, Enfield were unlucky not to finish off "The Sports" at the first attempt - and missed a penalty, in the process ... whilst conceding one themselves, for the home side's equaliser. Despite more than 99 minutes of game time, neither side could find a winner. See details and highlights at http://thecoldend.blogspot.co.uk/2014/09/all-back-to-donkey-lane-on-tuesday-night.html


The mighty Sussex seaside team features plenty of experience. Coach Tommy Widdrington may be remembered for his top flight playing career as a midfielder with Southampton (before going on to join Wigan Athletic, Grimsby Town, Port Vale, Hartlepool United and Macclesfield Town) and he has been an assistant manager in the Football League at Southend United. The club boasts a smattering of Caribbean exoticism, too; with squad players claiming Dominican, Grenadan and Antiguan nationality. There is also some recent FA Cup pedigree. During the 2005/06 season, the club reached the first round of the FA Cup for the first time; holding League Two outfit Oxford United to a 1–1 draw at home, with winger Ollie Rowland, holding his nerve to score a 90th-minute penalty. Although the away replay was a different (and less memorable) story for the junior side.

Enfield's was just one of 77 fixtures (yes, it's a strange number!) played in the 2nd qualifying round of the FA Cup, on Saturday. Two more were played on Sunday (and yes, 79 ties is still a strange number!). So Enfield remain one of the many small teams whose (distant) dreams of playing the big fish, beating them and making it to Wembley remain alive. For now!

Meanwhile, and for those interested in the fates of 'other' Ryman League clubs this weekend, I can bring you the big news that Margate finally achieved their aim of exiting the tournament early, by cunningly engineering a 1-2 home defeat to Barton Rovers - a mid-table side from Division One Central of the Southern League (bad luck, Eric!). Margate fans can now focus their positive energies on Enfield's Tuesday night clash. Your intrepid reporter, of course, plans to be there; to bring you the big sporting story of the week.

Come On, You Town! Still living the dream ...

The Magic of the (League) Cup - Part III
A gulf in class ... or a lower league club 'banana skin'? Again, which was it to be?


Fulham FC versus Doncaster Rovers: 8pm kick-off
Craven Cottage - 23/9/14

Prior to the kick-off in Tuesday’s League Cup tie against Doncaster Rovers, former club captain Danny Murphy had labelled Fulham FC a place of “trouble, trauma and stress”. That was AFTER the club had belatedly parted company with arguably the worst manager in their 135 year history. Think what it must have been like before the German’s departure! Führer Felix (Magath) has been roundly condemned by pundits and former club players alike; reviled as a destructive, tyrannical dictator; a petty despot and a bully, with little tactical or strategic nous, a penchant for freezing out his few remaining senior players and a preference for imposing gruelling fitness training over developing any practice routines involving a spherical object. Don’t get me started on what he may, or may not, do with cheese. His appalling 20% win ratio would have seen him sacked from most Sunday pub teams long before the seven months he survived at Fulham. A popular former club player and recent Under-21's coach, Kit Symons, now has the unenviable task of beginning to rebuild morale, ball skills and tactical nous at London’s oldest professional football club. His first game in caretaker charge of the side had ended in a 0-1 home league defeat, to a poor Blackburn Rovers side, on Saturday. Things might have ended very differently, however, had it not been for Fulham’s second consecutive sending off in the first-half of a game. Symons’s ten-man side were still the better team and were unlucky to concede the only goal of the game, after some comedy, pin-ball defending in their own 6-yard box. The damage was all done by a predatory striker’s instinctive close-range finish, from a player with whom the club have been linked regularly over the last couple of seasons – Jordan Rhodes. That was last weekend, though. Now, onwards to this week’s potential web of woes.

  

The third round of the League Cup featured some interesting numbers. For instance, tickets were just £10 for any adult seat in the ground at Craven Cottage; only £5, for concessions. Elsewhere, there was a record-breaking penalty shoot out at Anfield, such that the luckless Anglo-Ghanaian, Albert Adomah, apparently lost count of how many kicks had already been taken, as he stepped out to miss the decisive kick - oblivious to its critical importance. Many top tier teams also changed their entire line-ups from Saturday's league games, to show in how little esteem they hold the trophy. The tie between West Brom and Hull saw all 22 players lining up for the kick-off altered from Saturday's starting rosters for both teams. Even high-flying second-flight sides seemed uninterested in focussing on a tournament which holds out the (admittedly distant and unlikely) promise of European qualification for next season. Nottingham introduced 9 new players; Norwich changed all 11. Perhaps unsurprisingly, Forest came away with nothing from White Hart Lane; while the Norfolk outfit consequently were eliminated at Second Division Shrewsbury - the lowest ranked team remaining in the draw. In an interesting parallel for Fulham fans, "The Shrews" had brought in 16 new players over the summer. That huge degree of change hasn't stopped them achieving 6th place so far under new manager Micky Mellon, whilst maintaining an unbeaten home record. Those are achievements the London club could only dream of whilst under the leadership of the newly-departed Magath, who repeatedly appealed for more time to gel a team entirely of his own choosing and making. It is a sign of just how very far Fulham have fallen recently – and how frighteningly fast – that Doncaster Rovers arrived to compete for that further step towards Wembley and Europe in front of only their second-biggest crowd of the season: a mere 8,070. The largest attendance for one of their games so far this term (more than 45% bigger than that at Craven Cottage) was for a 0-3 league defeat at top-of-the-table Bristol City’s Ashton Gate ground. Admittedly that was a Saturday fixture; and it was always going to be a tough ask to get away team supporters from South Yorkshire to the North bank of the Thames on a Tuesday night – even for an 8pm kick-off. But that is a component part of the “Magic of the Cup”. It was a surprise that even several hundred had committed to the 350-mile round-trip. Perhaps a lot of them live and/or work in The Beautiful South? And, if so, who can blame them? But enough of these interesting numbers!

I took a visiting, octogenarian American relative along to see his first “pro-soccer” game. Jack is a true multi-sports fan and had gladly grappled with this Summer’s FIFA World Cup™. Tonight he would struggle manfully to gain a deeper understanding of the arcane offside rule; but it wasn't always easy to explain the inconsistent officiating of referee Kevin Friend and his assistants. Jack might have been harbouring some reservations about our long trudge to the ground and the absence of a Fast-Forward button on the play. If so, fortunately, under the strong floodlights, the Cottage playing surface, at least, looked Premier League class; and the stadium was a stunning sight - even with a near-empty Away (& Neutrals) end. The low number of home fans present was disappointment enough; but it soon became clear that the presence of one particularly opinionated, empty-vessel of a home “fan”, sitting just a few rows behind us in the Johnny Haynes stand, was going to be even more disappointing. His repeated, high volume, critical, know-nothing comments should have been an embarrassment to the group he was sitting with; but it seemed like his brainless heckling was just 'business as usual' for all of them.

McCormack delivers an early corner, in front of a near-empty Putney End.

There seemed little to justify the fear of yet another dreaded, lack-lustre home performance (Fulham were winless at The Cottage this season, at the start of the match) as Fulham took the game to their visitors straight from the whistle. After just 20 seconds, young Fulham ‘keeper Marcus Bettinelli comfortably collected a weak early Doncaster cross from their left and delivered an excellent flat kick for Colombian international Hugo Rodallega to win in the air. Scottish international Ross McCormack took an excellent first touch on Hugo’s pass, rode the first of the evening’s many ‘robust’ challenges on him to break free on goal, past defender Luke McCullough. He shaped nicely and struck sweetly; but his left-footed shot from left of the centre of the box was saved by the outstretched left foot of visiting goalkeeper, Jed Steer, as it went across him. In the sixth minute, a lovely 1-2 between McCormack and Costa Rican international (and World Cup star) Bryan Ruiz fed Rodallega again. This time, Hugo showed a classy first touch on receiving a precise pass. He broke between two defenders to run onto his own through ball; but, as he leaned backwards under pressure from both Rovers players, he spooned his shot, stretching with his left foot from just left of centre  - and saw the ball go tamely wide to the left of Steer’s goal. His right foot would, surely, have been the better option.

The first half saw little genuine threat from Rovers. More threat was provided by referee Kevin Friend (inappropriately named, for Fulham fans). In a match that needed control of a frustratingly savvy approach that was intended to hamper the better footballing technique of the home side, Friend provided the opposite. Constant niggling late tackles, heel-clips and other clever contact from the visitors went consistently unpunished. While the few, minor (often invisible) infringements by Fulham players were draconianly dealt with. Bettinelli was, rightly, booked in the 9^th minute for handling the ball outside his area; when he ought to have cleared more easily with his feet from the onrushing Nathan Tyson, who had beaten Bodurov to a well-weighted through-ball.

Rovers then had a pair of free kicks from good positions on the left-hand edge of Fulham’s area; but both were squandered, as were a couple of corners. Mostly they drove the ball deep in the (mostly unfruitful) hope of turning and catching out Fulham's defence. It was soon clear that Rovers’ greatest threat was likely to come from set-piece moves – and from the referee. They were already fighting an uphill battle from as early as the 15^th minute, when Fulham broke down the left. A flighted, long ball from Venezuelan international Amorbieta was knocked down by Rodallega. McCormack (with rather uncharacteristic politeness) considerately(?) left the loose ball for Bryan Ruiz, who duly sprinted in to despatch a driven, left-foot shot, high into the left-hand side of the net for the opening goal. All very much with the run of play.

After 31 minutes, a short-corner routine on the left involving MCCormack and Ruiz allowed the Scotsman freedom to play in a right-footed cross towards the far post; where giraffe-like skipper Dan Burn had ghosted in to apply the finishing touch with a towering header to make the score 2-0, shrugging off the ineffectual and poorly-timed aerial challenges of two Rovers defenders.

Kit Symons looks on from the technical area as Bryan Ruiz (white #10)continues to find space easily and looks entirely at ease on the ball in a dominant first-half display. Referee Kevin Friend practices the chicken dance, apparently oblivious (as ever) to the ongoing play.

Fulham failed to convert a couple of further promising breaks; but ended the first half comfortably, as convincing two-goal leaders. Rovers’ website match report later acknowledged simply that “they were out played by the former Premier League side”. The situation forced Doncaster’s manager Paul Dickov into ringing the changes. A double half-time substitution saw Robinson and the not-entirely-fit Forrester introduced, for Bennett and Wellens, strengthening Rovers' forward focus. It was a risky roll of the Cup dice, so early in the game; but clearly a necessary one - and it made a huge difference. 

Suddenly, the visitors were a more threatening prospect. They were pressing harder; and looking more composed when in possession. 10 minutes after the restart, Nathan Tyson out-sprinted Burn to the right-hand side of the Fulham box; but his shot across Bettinelli raced past the far post. Donny’s ‘tails’ were decidedly up. On the hour Coppinger played a neat give-and-go on the left which saw him receive the ball deep, in space. He cut back onto his right to unleash an excellent right foot shot across and beyond Bettinelli to halve the deficit.

It all felt very 'Fulham-ish'. Having controlled the bulk of possession and territory for an hour, the home side suddenly looked very nervous. Not entirely surprising, given their appalling recent league form and failure to hold a lead. In quick succession, Kit Symons brought on Kavanagh for Amorebieta and (former) England international Scott Parker for Greek international Stafylidis. Neither new player was able to impose their authority on a game where the momentum was now all with Rovers.

After 78 minutes, a hopeful cross from the right by goal-scorer Coppinger hung in the air for Robinson to head powerfully from the corner of the 6-yard box directly at the hapless Hoogland’s outstretched hand. Suddenly echoes of last season's ignominious and servile home FA Cup exit to struggling lower league club Sheffield United were in the air. The former Schalke and Stuttgart player’s blushes were saved, however; as was the well-struck penalty from Robinson, low to his left by Bettinelli - but, crucially, too close to him.

Doncaster’s pressure started to look less convincing as they tired late in the game. Symons replaced Ruiz who, after weeks of being ignored by the the previous manager, had (unsurprisingly) shown his lack of match fitness and faded as the game wore on. Winger Williams came on for him after 81 minutes; and the threat of his pace tied Rovers’ defence back a little deeper on their left. The tireless Hyndman drew a foul, around 25 yards out, with just four minutes left. A committee convened briefly to award McCormack the right to try his luck; and he almost made the most of the opportunity. The Scotsman was denied only by a fine leaping save high to his left by Steer; tipping away the rasping, goal-bound effort for a corner. With one minute remaining, Doncaster rolled their last remaining Cup dice and brought on tall central defender Jamie McCombe as an additional make-shift striker. The extra space it provided at the back would give Fulham a couple of break-away chances; but the Yorkshiremen were now desperate to earn a period of extra time. That was an unwelcome prospect for the nervous home fans (particularly the tiring Jack) who were unhappy that the 4^th official had found FIVE minutes of lost time to add. It would be even more than that. In stoppage time, Tyson came off the worse after an aerial challenge for the ball with Bettinelli. He stayed down for an extensive period of treatment. Things looked bad as two stretchers entered the field of play; very bad, if he needed TWO stretchers. Eventually the stretchers were sent away and Tyson struggled back to his feet; but he headed straight for The Cottage dressing rooms and an ‘early bath’ – effectively ending Rovers’ valiant come-back efforts. Dickov's early, dice-rolling chickens had finally come home to roost. Fulham would, for the first time in recent games, finish with 11 men on the pitch - against 10.

The free-kick committee concludes McCormack (centre) should gauge the distance and take a crack at providing Fulham’s third. He was on target and drew a fine, athletic, desperation save.


With the final whistle expected at any moment, Williams showed his turn of pace. Latching onto a well-timed through-ball from Rodallega on the left, he bore down on goal, seemingly in plenty of space. His final touch took the ball just to his right, where the persistent Pottinger was able to execute a desperate, but well-judged, saving, sliding tackle to extinguish the danger and put the ball out for a corner - just as the inexperienced Williams was about to ‘pull the trigger’. He should have put the result beyond question. The ref had, anyway, seen enough; and there was no time for Fulham to take the resultant corner, as the whistle finally went on an eventful match - and a not entirely satisfactory performance from Fulham.

The 2-1 result meant that the Londoners were through to the Fourth Round, though, without even facing extra time; and they appeared to have avoided any serious injuries. Objective achieved, you might think; but the early dominance they had enjoyed had not been sustained after the break. Symons had failed to nulify Dickov's positive half-time changes. This was as much an acknowledgment of his lack of suitable resources as it was a lack of tactical invention, or necessity. Fulham had very nearly, once again, given up a lead to opponents. For long periods in the second half, it's true, there had been little movement off the ball and no appetite to press forwards when in possession. Ruiz's early influence and control had faded significantly. Boos and whistles from the home crowd began to attend every faltering back-pass or loss of momentum; and there were plenty of those. Admittedly, with a lead already in the bag, it was not necessarily their place to press for another goal; but it might have made things a little more comfortable. Fulham’s possession advantage and positive intent had become decidedly unconvincing – after all their early promise. Of that penalty save, Dickov later said “if it had gone in I think we would have gone on to win the game" – and it was very difficult to argue with that view. What did Jack think? He’d seen better! Arguably, that dreaded, lack-lustre home Fulham performance had reared its ugly head after all; but, under the current circumstances, avoiding defeat was all-important - and was successfully achieved. Something of a rarity this season. A unique, first home win was earned. A home tie against Derby County in the next round was Kit's reward for turning his "sow's ear" of a squad into ... if not a silk purse, exactly, then at least a fit-for-purpose leather wallet. Just about! Perhaps Derby are not the very easiest of possible opponents; but far from the most difficult we could have been assigned - and at home at The Cottage. We are offered an early opportunity to avenge our embarrassing league defeat at The Baseball Ground / Pride Park / The IPro Stadium (*delete, as preferred).

Not quite a gulf in class, then; nor quite the proverbial 'banana skin' either, after all, on Tuesday night. 'Close but no banana', you might say. Although to hear the loud, know-nothing, moaner maintaining a near-constant tirade of high-volume, negative chatter behind us, you'd have thought we'd taken a right spanking... again. How very Fulham-ish of him. Just imagine how unbearable he must be when we really are losing badly; as has so often been the case, of late.

Fulham

40 Bettinelli - Booked
05 Amorebieta (Kavanagh - 69' )
02 Hoogland
06 Bodurov Booked
33 Burn Booked
03 Stafylidis (Parker - 72' )
21 Christensen
10 Ruiz (Williams - 81' )
28 Hyndman
20 Rodallega
44 McCormack
Substitutes
01 Kiraly
08 Parker
14 Roberts
16 Woodrow
27 Williams
30 David
32 Kavanagh

Doncaster Rovers
01 Steer
12 McCullough
15 Wakefield (McCombe - 89' )
03 Evina
22 Wabara
19 Wellens (Robinson - 45' )
04 Furman
23 Bennett (Forrester - 45' )
26 Coppinger
18 Keegan
14 Tyson
Substitutes
06 McCombe
09 Robinson
10 Forrester
13 Marosi
21 De Val
30 Askins
35 Ferguson

The Magic of the Cup, Part II - a gulf in class ... or a lower league club 'banana skin'? Which was it to be?

FA Cup 1st Qualifying Round - Saturday 13th September 2014
Enfield Town F.C. versus Felixstowe & Walton United F. C.

On a day that is a mathematical palindrome of sorts (or something!? - 14/9/14) I sit down to write a match report on a game that offered a resolution to some other gripping number problems. A knock-out football tournament, after all, is living proof that two-into-one just won't go - as the Ancient Babylonians, Egyptians and Greeks all knew only too well. This particular football-maths event, at least, was also a test of how much difference there is in 9-minus-7 - the respective tiers these two competing teams occupy in English football's league pyramid system.

Firstly, it is advisable to read my all-important pre-match prologue ("The Magic of the Cup? - Part I", see the previous entry, at the end of this post, below) before launching into this post-match report and all its associated philosophical musings; but it's a free world (at least in parts, still) so please yourself! The BBC (bless 'em!) were listing this fixture on their Sport webpage as taking place at The Goldsdown Road, a 'stadium' whose rusting doors Enfield Town Football Club have not darkened in nearly 3 years, now. So just forget those BBC amateurs. At last you've found proper coverage of non-league football. Welcome home! You've clearly come to the RIGHT place. A short note on camera memory might be helpful, here. Eagle-eyed regular readers of this page may notice a reduced image quality from my normal "very high standard", in some of today's photos. This is due to highly technical memory capacity issues. Mine, that is; NOT the camera's. The latter stayed at home for a welcome and well-earned, if unexpected, break from football action. Doh! While my 'phone had to fill the void. Badly.

Having worried myself with some un-nerving pre-match research into today's visitors ("The Seasiders" of Felixstowe & Walton United Football Club, from two steps down the English football pyramid) and their recent form (fairly impressive, especially on the road, especially in North London and especially against supposedly superior opposition) I approached today's game with some trepidation. After Town's own recent erratic form (W2; L2) I decided that a change of route to the ground might bring a (positive) change of fortune. Football fans can be a superstitious bunch; willing to try almost anything to secure success for their team. So I took a previously unused series of alleyways and crossed the New River a little South of my normal bridging point. Yes, you may well laugh at the planning that goes into these sorts of preparations; but it is upon such fine, footballing details that success is often gained and/or lost, "at this level".

In their previous outing on Non-League Day, billed on the club website as "Saturday 5th  September" (sic - it was, of course, the 6th) The Seasiders had crushed another East Coast seaside town's home team - Norfolk's very own Gorleston F.C. - 2-0. Despite a more than fair run of recent form, F&WUFC were evidently watched (at least some of the time) by the proverbial "three 'men' and a dog" ... scowling; and captured standing beside what was perhaps a descriptive or subliminal message hoarding - according to an image from their website match report.

As I turned right, after heading north-bound - rather than taking my normal left turn, after heading south-bound - off Ladysmith Road, I sauntered in dappled, mellow, Autumnal sunshine, down the leafy cut-through which leads past Enfield Ignatians RFC to the car park and turnstiles of the QEII Stadium; the home of North London football. At first I sensed - and later I could hear, from the animated crowd noises and the sharp blasts of a whistle, that I was going to miss the kick-off. Either I was late arriving at the ground (and I don't for a moment rule out this possibility) because of my hopeful, fortune-seeking, new route to the stadium, or the game was starting early. Either way, I missed the warm-ups and the first couple of minutes of action - and the chance to buy a match programme. It seems as though, for the visit of smaller clubs, ETFC officials reduce the size of the print run ordered. Certainly I've experienced this situation on a number of previous occasions; although, to be fair, that seems like common practice both home and away. While that may be a sensible move financially, it leaves some fans unable to read the platitudes of the club chairman and manager; pining for the small ads of local businesses and the player profiles of the visiting team in hard copy format, which they've probably already reviewed on-line, before the game. Fortunately, I didn't miss any goals, however. Apparently just a first-minute effort from Corey Whitely, which was blocked.

... I did, however, miss this impromptu, pre-match 'Hokey-Cokey'. Officials on the Enfield bench collectively and spontaneously turned their backs (some also folded their arms) so unbearably embarrassing a spectacle was it to watch.


At first it was difficult to see much away support at the visitors' end - and not just because of the dazzling, low sun in the late-summer sky. I could make out just nine lonely figures in and around the "SH Property" stand - and there was no sign of that dog. This might have been a signal that The Seasiders don't really have much of a travelling 'firm'; orperhaps it might just have been that those normally hardy and faithful souls had decided the result of this fixture was already a foregone conclusion - and not worth the hassle of the long return trek down the A12 from Suffolk and back. Certainly with three key, regular players missing ('keeper Jamie Stannard, midfielder Sheridan Driver and forward Bradley Barber) the welcome return of Stuart Ainsley and player-coach Danny Bloomfield to their roster may not have looked like sufficient reinforcement with which to take on higher-ranked opponents. The Cup, however, has been known to turn up surprising results.

"Is - that all - you - take - away?"

In fact, amid a smaller-than-normal crowd of 289, it turned out that things were a little cosier than usual over in the home end, since a small group of visiting fans had decided to pitch camp and hoist their flags in the 'wrong' end. This took the visible away support numbers up to about 15; and at least these folks wouldn't have to change ends for the 2nd half - when, perhaps, they expected their side to do most of their scoring. There was certainly little suggestion that anything had 'kicked-off' - apart from the game itself. So perhaps we truly are "All friends, in this Beautiful Game", after all, as the visiting side's club motto would have us believe. One previously unremarked aspect of following football 'at this level', is that the degree of excitement on offer allows school students (charged just £1 at the gate) a great opportunity either to play football behind the stand, or to catch up on their reading homework - see bottom-centre of photo, below.

Lost in Transalation? A small bevvy of unfamiliar red and white shirts, discovered in the Town end. Were they really checking their 'phones for GPS directions to the 'correct' away end?

In a hectic opening phase, for the first 15 minutes the action was almost all around the visitors' goal. Amongst several well-worked, attacking Enfield moves, defensive midfielder #6 Stanley Muguo roamed forward and, in his normal, deceptively languid manner, drove a spanking effort against the crossbar, with the diminutive visiting replacement goal keeper, Adam Dawson, rooted to the spot. Town's industrious #10, Corey Whitley, was seeking and finding a lot of the ball in these early stages; but unfortunately, several times, he got himself into a tangle, tripping over his own feet,  or over the ball, after finding promising-looking space. Ryan Doyle then also fired an effort against the Seasiders' bar, after a Campbell free kick. The Felixstowe club were decidedly under the cosh; and my hopeful flutter on the golden goal (a randomly-selected 40th minute) was looking unlikely to pay dividends. Surely goals would come flooding in, long before that stage of the game. One wag in the home end, offered some friendly support to the away team's guardian: "It's gonna be a long afternoon, keeper; you've got through the first 10 minutes, though". So small and young did the Seasiders' goalie appear to some home fans, that a traditional refrain was wittily adapted at one of his early goal-kicks. As he ran up and skied the ball: "ooooooooOOOOOOHHHHH - you're twelve, aaaarrrrggghh!". Shortly afterwards, as Dawson gathered one threatening through-ball cleanly, a home fan begrudgingly acknowledge that his effort had been "Not bad, for a little 'un!". A funny enough observation under most circumstances, in a non-league football context; but funnier still, when uttered at loud volume, in a high-pitched voice, by an 8-year old.

One 8-year old (centre, at railing) congratulates another (in yellow jersey, right).



The visitors' website post-match report later bemoaned the portents for their big day in the (comparative) spotlight: "Sometimes you get the feeling it’s not going to be your day and in the 9th minute ... Nathan McDonald [Enfield's GK] had to stretch at the far post as the ball dipped to turn it over for a corner. With defenders taking up their defensive positions at the posts the referee pointed for a goal kick, much to the surprise of both sets of players". To be candid, this was about as much as the away fans had to get excited about, in the early exchanges; and it was also a reflection of the typical standard of officiating 'at this level'. It was very good of the referee, Wayne Cartmel of Cumbria, to have come so far to help out; but, as usual, it hardly seemed to have been worth his while, given all of the effort required and his apparently failing eye-sight. And as for his "assistants"? Don't get me started! One of these, in particular, seemed over-awed by his responsibilities on this big occasion; clearly lacking confidence in his own capabilities, delaying raising his flag until he knew which way the ref had already passed judgment - and, when forced to adjudicate for himself, getting even the simplest of throw-in decisions consistently wrong, from the earliest moments of the game. Needless to say, nobody in the home crowd was in the least surprised, or amused, at this state of affairs. Normal service had simply been resumed. Their ridicule probably didn't help, though, either: "You don't - know what - you're do - ing!"

After 16 minutes, Enfield's #8, Nathan Livings, collected a ball 40 yards out, after some untidy midfield play from the visitors had lost them possession once again. With passing options to both his left and his right, Livings chose to go it alone, drilling a low shot across Dawson, from just right of centre, about 16 yards out. If he got his strike wrong, he would face the wrath of both those team-mates. Fortunately for all concerned on the home side, he comfortably found the inside of the net to the left of the goal. Town's players celebrated fairly reservedly, in front of chanting home fans; but it was clear they were relieved to have at last made their early pressure count. Were the home fans counting un-hatched chickens, as they joyfully sang "We're the famous Enfield Towners and we're going to Wem-ble-y; Wem-ber-leee! - Wem-ber-leee!"?

After 20 minutes, Town's keeper McDonald had to get down quickly to cut out a threatening ball across his area from Hewitt, with the visitors' captain, #10 Cranfield, lurking dangerously at the far post. After 24 minutes, their player-coach was guilty of a bad, late foul on Town goal-scorer Livings, in the centre about 25 yards out. A free kick was given; but it was the guilty party, Bloomfield, who came out of it worst off, appearing to get his studs caught in the playing surface (or Livings's flesh? - it was difficult to tell). Bloomfield stayed down for several minutes, receiving treatment and was to play no further part in the game, immediately limping off to be replaced by the surprisingly youthful-looking 18-year-old, #15 Ryan Birchfield. While play was halted, the Seasiders' #3, the experienced Stuart Ainsley, received bad news from one member of the home crowd, as he strolled deep into the goal net to retrieve a drink bottle and gulp down some fluids: "You're in trouble, Stuart; we know your name now". Somebody had obviously arrived early enough to get a programme and check off the team sheet on the wall by the club shop. Ainsley looked up and gave a resigned smile; appearing to implicitly acknowledge that his side was now facing a daunting uphill struggle. Luckily for Stuart and his team-mates, at the re-start, Liam Hope curled his effort just to the right of the right-hand post from the resultant free kick.

In the 28th minute, Whitely's trickery saw him ghost past several defenders, cutting both ways and into the area, where he was unceremoniously tripped by somebody else's feet, rather than his own, for once. The well-placed Mr. Cartmel of Cumbria clearly saw the incident - and gave neither the obvious penalty, nor the yellow card for "simulation" which should have been its obverse. Referee's, eh!? Cue howls of derision and, once again, the unkind (if largely true) "You don't - know what - you're do - ing!"

Despite the referee's best efforts, Enfield had total control, most of the possession and plenty of time on the ball, against clearly inferior opposition. All that was required was a second goal to, surely, kill the game off. A number of chances duly came Enfield's way. And went Felixstowe's! Muguo, Livings and Whitely were all guilty of wasting decent opportunities to extend that narrow Town lead. On 45 minutes the callow away sub, Birchfield, caught Enfield's LB, #2 Jordan Lockie, in mid-air with a late studs-first challenge. Though probably not malicious (a charitable opinion might allow that the challenge resulted from the youngster not yet being fully up to speed with the pace of the game) it was the clearest of yellow card offences, at the very least. Possibly more? It received just a stern talking-to for both the lad and his captain from the referee. Fulham FC's latest débutant, Matt Smith, was dismissed for less (and, arguably, with more provocation) at the Madejski stadium, on the same day; but I'm not bitter. Oh no!

With half-time looming - and deep into time added - a 49th-minute Enfield corner (their 7th of the half) was floated in from the right with precision by #7 Tyler Campbell's sweet left foot. Skipper Mark Kirby had plenty of time and space to judge his run to perfection, to soar, float and deliver an unchallenged, towering header downwards and into the visitors' goal, between the keeper and a defender standing on the goal line, near the right-hand post. Finally some breathing space: 2-0; and the cue for some strutting, chest-thrusting, fist-pumping celebrations from The Towners' inspirational #5, CB and lead-by-example captain. The 1st half ended with the visitors in need of some reorganisation and refocussing - not unlike the camera on my 'phone.

The 2nd half started more evenly balanced. Five minutes in and Town's McDonald had to come early and get down fast to collect a through ball at an opponent's feet, just inside the edge of his box. The visitors had clearly not yet given up all hope of reducing that 2-goal deficit; but the taking of chances is key to success. At the other end, Whitely (whose recent form has, reportedly, been attracting the attention of both Stevenage and Reading - regular readers of this blog page will, no doubt, NOT be surprised to hear this rumour, given Whitely's influence on and importance to the Enfield side - energetically chased a through ball into the right of the Seasiders' penalty area. Shoved by the chasing #7, Ryan Clark, as he reached the ball, Whitely showed solidity and strength to stay standing up, only to be fouled again by the same player, as he turned and prepared to strike an effort on goal. The away club's match report said the resulting "yellow card for Clark seemed harsh as he appeared to make a genuine attempt for the ball". It doesn't mention the previous contact, nor Clark's histrionic reaction to the referee's awarding of a (clear) penalty, nor the petulant man-handling Mr. Cartmel then endured. "Off! Off! OFF! OFF!". Cartmel's continued leniency signaled Clark's good luck; but there was none for Dawson, as Liam Hope fired home the spot kick, high to his left, beyond the keeper's despairing, flailing dive: 3-0. "Ba-aarrns-lee! It's just like watch-ing Barns-ley!"

Enfield continued to dominate play. There was little reaction from Felixstowe as they watched their (slim?) chances of FA Cup progression seep away. Town should have added a 4th after 58 minutes, when Whitely and Hope were frustrated first by Dawson's rapid reactions in racing off his line and then by #5 Rhys Barber, who kept calm and carried on as a looping effort gave him time to cover his keeper's hasty advance out of his area. Enfield's manager, Brad Quinton, clearly felt the lead and superiority were comfortable enough to ring the changes. He gave some valuable first team pitch experience to débutant Theo Jones, after 67 minutes, in a straight swap for solid RB Jordan Lockie. By now, Enfield could (should?) have already been several more goals clear of their tiring opponents. After 71 minutes, Jamie Smith came on for the relatively quiet Michael Kalu, adding a more muscular presence up front. Mitch Hahn also replaced the lively Nathan Livings after 75 minutes when, presumably, all risk was considered spent from the game,

Liam Hope's persistence saw him latch onto a through ball after 74 minutes, in the central channel. His clumsy control was only marginally better than Clark's clumsy challenge from behind and to his right.. Hope went to ground to earn what was, to be fair, a soft second penalty award. Up went the shout from the home supporters again; more in jest than in earnest this time: "Off! Off! OFF! OFF!". Referee Cartmel duly obliged, flourishing a second yellow card, to be swiftly followed by a red one; and signalling 'an early bath' for the visitors' naïve #7. The slightly stunned crowd went silent in surprise and relief, after an initial, derisory cheer. Hope despatched the spot kick again, although this time to his right, with Dawson getting finger tips to the ball. Enfield now had a 4-0 lead; against tiring 10-man opposition; from 2 leagues below. The result finally looked fairly secure. It was even more so, when Hope added his third to make it 5-0, sending a fine strike through a crowd of players, after receiving an inside pass centrally, from the promising-looking sub LB, Jones. That hat-trick goal for Hope apparently puts him just one goal behind 'club legend' Rudi Hall (who retired as recently as the end of the promotion-winning 2011-'12 season) at the top of the club's all-time leading goalscorer list. A list he will, surely, soon enough bestride, like a mighty, mercurial colossus. The five-goal margin of the match was not unduly flattering to the home side.

Oops! Clark (in red, #7) gives the referee yet another (incorrect?) decision to make; and also gives Hope (white, #9) another chance of edging further towards coveted club top-scorer status.


So that tricky FA Cup banana skin had been avoided with aplomb. The gulf in class duly demonstrated. The Seasiders' match report acknowledged they had "never really matched their higher league hosts for skill" (not an attribute Enfield's players are too frequently accused of) before going on to state the obvious: that "Wembley was never a likelihood in this competition", No sh*t, Sherlock! Although we can all dream, I suppose. The Suffolk club's honest endeavour was never going to be anything like enough, on its own; and even that effort waned, as time wore on and the junior club's players tired. Before the game, our manager had told local reporters “It would be fantastic for the boys if we could have a good run. I’ve played in sides who’ve made it through to the first round and have come up against Tranmere Rovers and Shrewsbury Town. It’s just a massive buzz taking to the field in games like that, and I would love for the boys to get that sort of experience.” Towners fans will now be hoping that a lucrative cup run might, indeed, see them edge towards the glittering allure of mighty Football League opponents. That would help to finance a much-needed squad building exercise. How might such opposition fare at the daunting Donkey-Drome? Perhaps the giants of Carlise, Exeter, Oxford or Accrington may come a-calling soon, so that we can find out? Then again, perhaps not.

A helpful note to Margate fans: spot the difference.
   
One consolation for North London's finest was the news that Tuesday evening's scheduled league opponents ('high-flying' Margate FC) had failed to dispatch lowly, local Kent rivals, Folkestone Invicta, in their FA Cup tie on the same day. That high-profile failure requires a Tuesday night replay of their match; postponing our planned mid-week league clash and increasing the Kent side's early-season fixture congestion issues, at least a little. It also puts off our league meeting until, perhaps, Margate's early-season form has faded a little - and also until, perhaps, Brad Quinton has secured some much-needed reinforcements for his squad. We live in Hope - as ever. Come on, you Towners!

More non-league news to follow soon, sports fans.

Towners: Nathan McDonald, Jordan Lockie (Theo Jones 67), Joe Stevens, Ryan Doyle, Mark Kirby, Stan Muguo, Tyler Campbell, Nathan Livings (Mitch Hahn 75), Liam Hope, Corey Whitley, Michael Kalu (Jamie Smith 71)
Unused: Luke Illsley, Phil Kane, Brad Quinton

Seasiders: Adam Dawson, Lewis Pemberton, Stuart Ainsley, Josh Hewitt, Rhys Barber, Dan Davis, Ryan Clark, Matt McKenzie, Danny Bloomfield (Ryan Birchfield 26 – Jamie Cole 75), Ben Cranfield, Tom Dew.
Unused Matt West, James Ross, Paul Cudworth.

Referee: Wayne Cartmel – Cumbria.
Assistants (an over-statement, in their case): Thomas Harkin, Matt Borg.

Attendance: 286

The Magic of the Cup? Part I

Ah yes! The smell of the hot dogs, burgers and fried onions; the odour of sweat, greasepaint and liniment oil; the faint whiff of a distant commercial sell-out to an international brewer of poor beer; ten whole English pounds paid on the gate and a flutter on the 50-50 draw? All of these things must signal the arrival of the first qualifying round of The FA Cup ("with Budweiser"). With such heady excitement in the air, your correspondent has taken the unusual step of publishing a pre-match warm-up piece, for your delight and delectation. How else could you fully enjoy and savour the flavours of the "oldest and best" (according to the FA themselves!) domestic Cup competition in the world of club football? Personally, I'll be aiming to spend the day WITHOUT Budweiser.

Today's opponents for Enfield Town F. C. at the Queen Elizabeth II Stadium are "The Seasiders" of Felixstowe & Walton United Football Club. Not only do F&WUFC boast one of the longer club names in the English football leagues but they also possess a club badge bearing the hands of friendship. Their club slogan is "amici in ludo sumus". My very loose translation is "We are all friends, in the Beautiful Game". Today could be a good day to test out that claim.

            

The Seasiders home games, at The Goldstar Ground, have averaged 112, so far this season; making them one of the best supported clubs in the Eastern Counties League Thurlow Nunn Premier Division. For the uninitiated, that is in Level 9 of English football's pyramid; two whole levels below Enfield Town - making Town 'the big club' in today's fixture. The Seasiders' website incorrectly states the gulf of difference as just "one step up the Pyramid". Whether this is out of Suffolk ignorance or indifference - or a as a bit of psychological gamesmanship - is, as yet, unclear. The visitors have already had to play (and win, of course!) twice in preliminary, pre-qualifying games, just to reach this "qualifying round". That they have won both of those previous games on their travels in North London, after journeys down the A12, should sound the proverbial warning alarm bells loudly in the ears of Town's players and fans alike. These seasiders will be combing the 'beaches' of Enfield in search of further Cup glory, with little respect for club reputations or status. The visitors' club was formed by a merger of two clubs based on the Suffolk "Peninsula", as recently as the year 2000; but those merged sides had previous club heritage dating back to 1888.

As a further guide to form, it may help to know that today's visitors currently sit 10th (out of 20 teams) in their league; although to achieve this, they have played 4 of their 5 league games at home. They won only 50% of these; but also gained maximum points in their only away fixture. Although they also experienced the disappointment of leading an away game against Brantham Athletic by two goals to nil before the match was abandoned after 52 minutes. The club's website says: "they stood on the Leisure Centre pitch in darkness for 25 minutes or so until a whistle in the night from referee Jairo Marin called an official halt to the match". There is little risk of a floodlight failure again causing problems, on a sunny, warm, Enfield afternoon. It's worth noting that Felixstowe are, therefore, unbeaten on the road in all competitions this season.

As a guide to Suffolk wit, the following Joke of the Week is taken from the fanzone on the club's website:"I went for a job as a blacksmith the other day. He asked me if I’d ever shoed a horse? I said no; but that I'd once told a donkey to f**k off." To find this old gag humorous (or, indeed, relevant) you'd probably have to be reminded, once again, that the address of The Towners QEII Stadium (aka "The Donkey-Drome") is Donkey Lane. Better informed, you may now laugh! Seriously, though, the visitors' fighting spirit is clear for all to see - and prepare for - in this show of fan bravado.

The two sides have met just once before. In 2003 today's visitors again travelled; but to our former home, which we shared with Brimsdown Rovers at Goldsdown Road. That game was played in the 1st round of The FA Vase. Enfield Town at that time were playing in the (more junior) Essex Senior League. It was a game we won 2-0. The Seasiders seem to have no illusions about the task ahead of them. The following is copied from the club's website, with apologies for the syntax of this lengthy sentence and the lack of a question mark: "Enfield are a club on the up and there is no doubt we face a very difficult task to get anything from the match, but Kevin O’D, with nothing to lose as we are the complete underdogs, will set the side out to test our hosts and if we can produce anything like the kind of form we showed against Gorleston last week, who knows what might happen!"

If you're hoping to make a late change of plans and get along to witness this "David vs. Goliath" clash, use the following SatNav Postcode EN1 3PL. See you there!

The Time Capsule - an historical note: apart from its Landguard Fort, Felixstowe is arguably best known for its proximity in former times to the ground-breaking "pirate" radio station, Radio Caroline, when the station’s vessel was moored off Felixstowe in the 1960's. Landguard Fort is the site of the last opposed seaborne invasion of England, in 1667; and the first land battle involving the Royal Marines. The current fort structure dates from 1744. It overlooks the reaches to the strategically important Harwich Harbour.

Two hundred and seventy years on - Felixstowe in its glory days: The Seasiders will surely bring all their guns to bear on senior opponents Enfield Town F. C. today. Might this include the might of Landguard Fort's mighty arsenal?



Fifty years on - Felixstowe in its glory days: Radio Caroline DJ (and, later, behind-the-scenes producer) Gerry Duncan at the opening of the Caroline Snack & Coffee Bar, run by Dilys Calver, in Beach Station Road, Felixstowe, on U.S. Independence Day: July 4th, 1964. 

Four-Three-Three ... and 4 goals

Those numbers in the title are not, as they might at first appear to be, details of the formation ETFC used this weekend; but represent the four pubs on the way to the Enfield Town’s ground, from my house. Only three of these were open. The result? Just three pre-match beers (hence "4-3-3") and four goals scored ... but by whom?

Come in, number four; your time is up! Three of leafy Enfield's finest?

 




On Saturday, Cal & I walked to the QEII stadium (a first) and took in a mini pub crawl en route to supporting our most local team. We experienced minor irritations along the way (a quiz machine which was broken and kept pretending we’d got the wrong answers; a pool table which stole our pound, although the bar staff did give it back; that fourth (closed) pub, which meant we couldn’t complete our planned mini pub crawl in style – or use their gents' toilet before the last leg of the walk to the ground … something of a ‘schoolboy error’, to be sure). We just hoped these weren’t omens of a bad afternoon to come, at the Donkey-Drome.

Maidstone United started the day as table-toppers, with a points haul more than double Enfield’s, who were languishing in 15th place. After back-to-back wins, home and away, however, The Towners must have felt confident of making a game out of a fixture whose result, on paper at least, looked pretty much a foregone conclusion. Maidstone’s club crest features two golden lions and a white horse (fair enough, you might say) and something else that looks like a badly-drawn grey dinosaur ("WtF?" you might ask). That is plain weird. Just how would these fearsome creatures fare against the might of Enfield’s enfield (see previous blog entry on matters heraldic)? I have a friend who places sports bets exclusively on the basis of the likely outcome of a fight between each club's mascots; and I was concerned that our enfield might simply be outnumbered.

The cast of "Toy Story", perhaps?


One topic of recent father-and-son football conversation had been the apparent concentration of goal-scoring capability amongst the leading teams in the Ryman Premier League. Combined with the consequent concentration of goal-conceding capability amongst the lower teams in the Ryman Premier League. The visitors held a strong advantage in this department; but their roster of goal-scorers must be a broad one, since their top striker Frannie Collin had just 6 goals to his credit, matching Enfield’s own Corey Whiteley. Collin’s name may be familiar to that rare breed – Gillingham fans. Even Grant remembers him; and assures me that he was once touted as The Gills' 'next big thing'. Collin joined the Gills in 2005, scoring on his debut in a 2-0 league cup win before later following Gills' boss Andy Hessenthaler, when he moved to Dover Athletic. At this level, indeed at ANY level, a reliably consistent striker is a major asset. George Borg's ventures into the summer transfer market had convinced him that his best new striking option was, errrm .... to convert his CB and skipper, Mark Kirby, to play up front alongside Liam Hope. Borg has now left the club under a cloud and Kirby is firmly back in the heart of defence - which, I think speaks volumes. Alas, it also leaves Enfield with a front line which has not been strengthened since last season - something which must now be a priority for the club's new manager and the board, if we are to avoid a repeat of the early summer, end-of-season, relegation dog-fight.

What's under there, then? - photo: Tom Scott


The pre-match celebrations of Non-League Football Day included a rather inept unveiling of sponsorship for the covered area at the Eastern end of the ground, to the clear bemusement of some unimpressed Maidstone supporters. SH Property Agents Limited are now the proud(?) sponsors of the stand; a structure which later took a right peppering, during the rather half-hearted half-time ‘cross-bar challenge’ competition celebrations; a contest between inept supporters of the two teams. Organisers must have had to work hard to find a motley crew capable of such footballing incompetence, surpassing even that witnessed during the match. That despite having plenty to choose from amongst a season’s best crowd of 652. "The Stones" had brought more travelling support than most away sides; but still a fairly disappointing number, given that their lowest gate of the season was, by-far-and-away, substantially bigger than anyone else's biggest. I guess their attendances suggest there's not normally much else to do in mid-Kent on a Saturday; but perhaps a return journey through the Dartford Tunnel is not quite so alluring. Despite the unusual sight of not one but TWO coaches parked inside the QEII ground, the visitors deserved the ready admonition of the home fans: “Is – that all – you take away?”

In a first-half that saw few meaningful chances for the home side, The Stones created only a few themselves, despite being the more fluent side. The big difference was that Maidstone seemed capable of converting some of their few chances; whilst Enfield, lacking a target man up front to receive or hold up the many high balls delivered, looked largely toothless. All of which was in keeping with the evidence of the pre-match league table. After dominating early possession, The Towners conceded after only 15 minutes. They failed to deal with The Stones’ busy #7, Matt Bodkin - who, like Collin, is a former Gills player. Bodkin turned inside, on the right-hand edge of the box, and stepped comfortably around several challenges, before pushing the ball out for a cross from right-back and #2, Dean Pooley. His cross took a deflection, looping up to allow Alex Flisher to despatch a towering header into the top left of the goal. It was his third goal in as many games; and perhaps the best-timed, since it took the wind (or, at least, the huff and puff) out of Enfield’s sails. The goal was celebrated briefly by fans at the away end; giving rise to some banter: “1-0 – and you STILL don’t sing; 1-0 …”

Mills (#3) executes another Kentish greeting (the famous unseen 2-armed shove in the back). Whiteley is in mid-air, foolishly attempting to win the ball legally

Until that point, Maidstone had not looked much like a table-topping outfit; but a go-ahead goal makes a big difference. Flischer had another good chance and should have doubled the visitors’ lead, a few minutes later; but, one-on-one with Town's Nathan McDonald, his low shot was gloved wide by the ‘keeper. The Stones relied heavily on a long-throw tactic, which reaped little reward; but kept home fans terrified at every unleashing – like North London blitz victims awaiting the outcome of the latest V1 raid. Meanwhile, the best Towners could manage in response in the first half were a Corey Whitley shot which curled wide of the right hand post, after a good run and delivery from Tyler Campbell down the left hand side; and, later, Liam Hope’s enthusiastic chase onto a poor back-pass, which Lee Worgan in the Maidstone goal reached first – barely! After 22 minutes, the singing duel between the two sides' fans (if it deserved such a term) had become so clearly one-sided that a 4-year old Enfield fan was allowed successfully to lead the home singing. Certainly one for the future, there.

Town pressure again comes to naught, as Kirby is beaten to the ball narrowly.


A few little vignettes illustrate both Maidstone’s ongoing gamesmanship and the match officials’ weak handling of them. In the first, one of the smallest man on the pitch (SMotP) Corey Whitely was badly fouled on the edge of the box, as he probed for an opening with the ball at his feet. Kentish studs collected Enfield ankles, as the unaffected and uninvolved ball continued rolling on its merry way. The referee, surely the youngest on this league’s roster(?), standing just feet away, saw no offence. In the second incident, the SMotP closed down the LMotP, United’s #4, CB and captain Steve Watt, as the latter launched yet another uncultured, skyward clearance, high into the Enfield stratosphere. Though there was no visible contact, Maidstone’s LMotP went down like the proverbial ‘sack of potatoes’; and, for some time, it seemed for all the world that only a mercy-killing could relieve him of his pain from this invisible, mortal blow. He still had time for a wink and a sly wave away of the visitors’ physio, who was about to enter the pitch from the side-line. Of course, treatment by the physio would have required the wily old-timer to leave the field of play. The referee decided this was the perfect time to give out his first ‘stern talking to’; to the SMotP.  That proved to be just the ticket for Watt. Suddenly and inexplicably, he was back on his feet, bounding away from the scene of the alleged crime like a Spring lamb. In the third of our little vignettes, after 40 minutes Mark Kirby made an excellent interception just inside his own half, clearing the danger of a Maidstone attack by beating their #8, Jack Parkinson, to the ball – and, in turn, launching an attack down the left for Enfield. The referee was, again, just feet away and saw no incident; but his linesman, perhaps 5 yards further away thought that HE did - and over-ruled his ref, raising his flag for an infringement after some considerable delay. Play was recalled and this was the cue for Watts to start some ‘argy-bargy’, pushing and shoving the much larger Kirby, in retaliation for what seemed to have been absolutely nothing. Kirby stood his ground docilely, like a shire horse being pestered by a Jack Russell. The result? Another stern talking to; this time for the bewildered Kirby. Watt was lucky not to receive a card; and it could easily have been red. This, of course, entertained the home fans no end: “You don’t – know what – you’re doing!” Half-time arrived, with the score still 0-1 – and it was time to carry on once again with those desultory, on-pitch ‘celebrations’ of Non-League Day.

The referee was normally 'up with play'; but often appeared to be watching Ignatians RFC, on the rec. next door. Here is a rare exception.

In their previous match, Enfield had poached a goal early in the second half; and sure enough, a goal was not long in coming, once again. In the 46th minute, Town’s defence failed to deal with Maidstone’s influential Matt Bodkin. Skipper Mark Kirby was sold a simple dummy, as the visitors’ #7 made a mazy run, ending with a low shot past McDonald, into the net. It was ‘child’s play’ for the diminutive midfielder. You could even say that Bodkin had ‘threaded the eye of an Enfield needle’, despite his normal-sized eyes (“Bodkin”: noun; a thick, blunt needle with a large eye). Just three minutes later, Stones’ #10 Frannie Collin was given far too much space to run into the right hand channel on the edge of the box. He neatly received a well-timed ball in from the right and continued to the line, from where he pulled the ball back into the middle for #6, James Rogers, to side-foot home with aplomb, into the gaping space in the bottom right-hand corner of the net. Score-line: 0-3; perhaps a little flattering to the visitors, since each away goal had been hand-made in Enfield and delivered on a silver platter; but they were giving the blunt home forward line a lesson in how to make the most of limited chances. “3-0 – and you STILL don’t sing; 3-0 - …”

Town, however, seemed unfazed and continued to maintain possession and apply pressure – though their toil was without end result. The visitors, meanwhile, continued with their ‘robust’, physical approach to the game; particularly in defence. The match officials had so far managed the usual display of Ryman Premier League ineptitude and error; but they were about to truly excel themselves in this field. In the space of just 30 seconds they combined to make not one but THREE completely incorrect major decisions; each of which, individually, would have arguably dictated a very different final result.

After 55 minutes, Maidstone’s #2, right back Dean Pooley, launched an aerial, studs-up challenge for the ball just outside the area. He was completely out of control and his challenge was a country mile away from the ball. Had his path taken him into contact with any other player they would, surely, have suffered a significant injury. A huge jeer of indignation went up from the home fans. The referee was, as ever well-placed … but, as ever, at fault for yet another negligent decision. He clearly saw the incident, since he waved play on, when he should have flourished a red card. Shocking! The ball remained in play, with Enfield continuing on the offensive. As it came into the area, it was clearly handled by the Stones’ #5, Sonny Miles. Even the Maidstone website match report later admitted they were “lucky not to concede a penalty” – from which Hope would likely have reduced the deficit to 1-3, against a team who should have now been down to 10 men; perhaps only 9. Instead, the ball broke to midfield, where United’s Jack Parkinson and Town’s Nathan Livings battled for a 50-50 ball. The referee blew his whistle for another foul which was invisible to the home end; and no-one could have predicted what was to come next… which was a c. 20-man brawl, including one feisty linesmen! The referee’s inexperience and callow decision-making had, almost inevitably, finally led to him completely losing control of the game. As the red mist eventually cleared the pitch, a red card was belatedly flourished. The home fans were enraged as soon as it became clear that it was being shown to their #8, Nathan Livings. Not only had none of us seen a red card offence by Livings, we hadn’t seen an infringement by Enfield at all. The punch up had been instigated, after an innocuous, if robust, 50-50 challenge, by several of the visiting side running long distances to push and shove - and even to throw punches. These included: the goal keeper, Worgan; the captain, Watts and midfielder Bodkin, amongst others. After Livings had been sent mystifyingly from the pitch, Watts was shown just a yellow card, for his part in the ugly proceedings. It was an unjust outcome to an unsightly break-down; and put the lid firmly back on any potential Enfield fight-back. Instead of being 1-3 down against ten (or, possibly, nine) men, they were still 0-3 down; but now with only 10 of their own men left on the pitch. Cal, who was probably the most neutral spectator in the stand, turned to me and said: "He's just got all three of those decisions completely wrong; and ruined the game. There's not much point in staying to watch the rest". Although we did.

Town’s player-manager, Brad Quinton, rang the changes urgently, in order to try and keep his side in the game and on the offensive. He brought on target man Jamie Richards for the much smaller Tyler Campbell; and then unleashed arguably his most potent weapon, in exchange for #9 Liam Hope. That weapon turned out to be errrm … himself! The changes were broadly good ones since, despite their one-man advantage and three-goal lead, Maidstone were largely contained for the rest of the game, with Quinton turning play-maker. Richards strove hard but looked a little heavy and off the pace and rarely threatened the visitors' defence meaningfully. Enfield continued to toil for an unlikely break-through; but most of their possession was expended sideways, across the pitch. Their only “reward” was a fourth goal against them. After 78 minutes, almost inevitably, yet another long United throw from Flisher reached the middle of the box, where Watt headed the ball firmly down and into the net, helped considerably by a two-handed shove into the back of his now-absent erstwhile marker. That devilish long-throw tactic had finally reaped its little reward, with an assist. The 0-4 score-line now made this game look on paper like a thrashing for the home side; but it had been far from that. The ten tiring men unsurprisingly started to give more late possession to the 12-man visiting side; but no further goals came. Enfield's enfield HAD been outnumbered, after all. The final whistle was heard by an already-dwindling crowd. "We woz robbed!" - and I don't mean by that dodgy pub quiz machine. The result kept Maidstone at the top of the table; but promotion looks far from an automatic certainty for them, on the basis of this performance - and its fortunate outcome. Enfield, in contrast, fell to 18th place. Just a little more composure and good fortune of their own (and some better, more consistent refereeing, of course) in their league games to come should see them climb away from the danger zone at the foot of the table. A reliable target man or a change of tactics might also help.

Bradley Quinton, Enfield's new player-manager (right, in white) feels the pace - and his age? - as ten men battled on valiantly ... against 12 - photo: Tom Scott


… and then there was the long trudge home - another first; but a less welcome one. No pubs, no beers, the Chinese take-away was closed for its summer break; just a two-handed chorus of moaning about the terrible refereeing, the disappointing result and Enfield's lack of alternative options in the squad.

Of course, The Beautiful Game is an art form, not a science; and, as a result, there are probably as many differing views on this match as there were pairs of eyes in the ground. This one is, no doubt, as biassed as most. Although I was briefly left wondering whether the author of the match report on the Maidstone United website had actually been IN the ground, given the glowing review it gave to the Stones’ physical and often faltering 12-man performance, against ten doughty men from lowly Enfield.

Next up, Town visit fellow-strugglers the Met. Police, on Tuesday night; with the magic of the cup awaiting them in their next home game on Saturday 13th – an FA Cup First Qualifying Round, against “The Seasiders” of Felixstowe & Walton United. Come on you Towners - but don't bring your buckets and spades!

Enfield Town's (long) road to "New" Wembley begins on Saturday. Book your tickets now, while you still can!


Update: I have also been alerted, by Eric Norris, to the midweek fixture which follows that big Cup adventure: MARGATE FC get their big night in the big smoke on Tuesday 16th, k-o @ 7:45pm. Eric says "Bring it on Enfield! ... tuck into some cockles and muscles and jellied eels, while we out-SMURF you again LOL!"
I'll be there to see The Gate, with or without their blue faces and busted blood vessels - just as I was last time for the 1-1 draw, early last season.

Margate FC roll out just a few of their A-list celebrity fans, ahead of the big clash with Enfield Town: Sofia Viagra, Katy Perry, Brooke Shields ... AND Hank Azaria. Will that be enough to maintain their RPL title challenge at the QEII?

      

So, what precisely IS an "enfield"?

You might be surprised by the answer. This, plus several other important questions finally resolved here. Firstly, the question posed in that title, above.
It arose the other day, after I saw a throw-away sentence in the Wiki entry for Enfield Town F. C. My interest had been piqued, not least because Callum & I had recently been discussing the club's badge, in an idle moment, in the Butler's Bar, ahead of Tuesday evening's Premier League home match against Tonbridge Angels F. C. It turns out, incidentally, that "the enfield is a fictitious creature sometimes used in heraldry, having the head of a fox, forelegs like an eagle's talons, the chest of a greyhound, the body of a lion, the hindquarters and tail of a wolf". It happens (not unreasonably) to form the crest and logo of the London Borough of Enfield - and, therefore, is also an appropriate emblem for the town's senior club. There are, however, even more reasons why the enfield is apt for, errrm... Enfield: it being made up of the head of a crafty fox; forelegs that soar high like an eagle's; the chest of the swiftest greyhound, straining at the leash; the body of the bravest lion; the hindquarters and tail of a wolf, that hunts in a voracious pack. You probably get the idea, so I'll just stop that extended metaphor, right there.

Spot the difference part I - an enfield: shout when you see one
 
Other (important?) questions that hung in the air on Tuesday night, ahead of the game, included:

a)  Do Kate Jackson, Farrah Fawcett & Jaclyn Smith still play for the Angels (or Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore & Lucy Liu, if you're a fan of their more recent signings) and is John Bosley still their manager?

b) Why did George Borg leave ETFC, so soon after that recent, disappointing, narrow home defeat to Wingate & Finchley F.C. (see previous blog entry / match report, below this one)

c) What hope is there, exactly, for a club at the wrong end of the Ryman Isthmian Premier League, who are now onto their 3rd manager in less than a year? "To lose one manager, Mr Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose two looks like carelessness", to paraphrase Oscar Wilde's Lady Bracknell,

Answers to each of these questions follow:




a) It is true that Tonbridge Angels may have one of English Football's oddest club names; but it is NOT true that this is due to any connection with "Charlie's Angels" (trade mark) of either the '70's or '00's incarnations. Bearing the imaginative nickname of "The Angels", the Kentish football club were formed in 1947, after taking out a lease on the Angel sports ground, which had formerly been the home of Kent County Cricket Club, and which was named after the nearby Angel Hotel. The football club's inaugural Southern League fixture, against fellow newcomers Hastings United, was played in front of a post-war crowd of around 5,000. They remain a well-supported club, having recorded the second highest crowd of the season to-date, although well behind other Kentish rivals (Enfield's highest, incidentally, puts them 4th in that list) and boasting easily the fourth-highest average gate so far (Enfield = 7th). These figures show that they have significant income, for a team at this level of England's footballing pyramid.

Spot the difference part II - an Angel: shout when you see one

   

b) Recently-departed former-manager, George Borg, is one of football's "colourful" characters. As demonstrated by his alleged involvement in a second public racist incident within a week - and sent to the stands for the second half of Monday’s match - Mr. Borg felt that the Enfield club board were not sufficiently supportive of him and so, it seems, he chose to end his tenure. Borg's own account of things might be illuminating: “There were abusive chants coming from the Wingate fans towards me and my mother ... and I said something quietly to someone next to me in the dugout. The linesman heard what I said and claimed that it was an anti-Semitic remark [Wingate and Finchley are a club with strong Jewish links] and I was sent to the stands for the second half". Regular readers of this page may recall that, in referring to Enfield’s previous match, Borg had claimed: “I’ve never been called a white c*** in my life; but I was by one of the [Canvey Island] players". Perhaps his tenure at Donkey Lane had simply made him as paranoid as the rest of us. Or maybe "they" really were out to get him. In a week of managerial departures [Paul Norris also quit as manager of Enfield (1893) - the more lowly of the two Enfield clubs - after just three competitive matches in charge and in the wake of a humiliating 10-1 home defeat to Haringey Borough, in the Essex Senior League] Borg's was much the more surprising, since it was apparently not based on team performances. Although he did leave the side languishing in 19th place in the Premier League table, barely better than the position on his arrival, 9 months ago.

Spot the difference part III: George Borg, Fagin & Brad Quinton


c) As for this final question, after a spirited 0-3 win away at high-flying Hendon in his first game in charge, the new permanent (sic?) manager, Brad Quinton, seemed up for suggesting that there is every hope of a potential revival in Enfield Town's fortunes, this season. How he fared in his second match might answer a few further questions on the lips of the Donkey-Drome faithful.

As mentioned, Enfield (starting in 17th place) were up against one of the better-supported sides in the league. So it was no surprise that the visitors had brought with them a slightly larger following than is the norm - even for a Tuesday night fixture with a lengthy home journey. The result was a healthy crowd of 390; the second-highest for this week's mid-week fixtures in the league. After a promising start to the season, Tonbridge Angels had struggled to find consistent form; and they were only slightly higher than Town (14th) in the embryonic league table. The floodlights were turned on just ahead of kick-off; adding a little extra sparkle to the usual, subtly beautiful, Enfield sunset.

The two GK's sported contrasting jerseys and, by the end of the game, contrasting expressions - as did the home & (well-travelled) away fans:

The first half provided little to watch, beyond hard graft. The Angels had come with a defensive game plan. They implemented that plan with discipline and well-drilled efficiency; and they looked very solid at the back, led by their dominant skipper and #5, Jerrome Sobers - formerly, if only briefly, of Ipswich Town and Brentford. They rarely ventured into the home penalty area; and seemed satisfied with long passes of little accuracy or note. One of the rare highlights was a "combative" challenge by Town's CF (centre forward AND crowd favourite) #9 Liam Hope, perpetrated on the Angel's 'keeper after a ball chase to the edge of the 6-yard box, which resulted in a 30th minute yellow card. I've seen red card flourished for less.

Hope gets tips from his new friend on removing left-over goalie from one's studs: 


The ball spent too much time up in the air, which suited the physically bigger Angels side; and the only other first-half moment of real note was another yellow card, this one apparently issued to the visitors' CF & #9, Billy Medlock, even before the game had actually started; that is, according to the Ryman League's own summary of the game, after "0 minutes". The pre-match announcement of the team line-ups had also noted a change to the referee originally named in the match programme; so perhaps replacement(?) Mr. Richardson just wanted to make it clear who really WAS in charge. There is a recurring joke about booking a player with a disciplinary 'reputation' early on, so as to get the predictable event out of the way; but this one must have been super-early, since I missed it completely, despite my own unusually timely arrival, designed to allow Callum to soak up the pre-match atmosphere ... and some Draught Guinness. Perhaps Medlock had sneaked in and left a 'calling card' on the officials' changing room floor, before heading out onto the pitch?

Yet another 1st-half aerial attack by Enfield leaves the Angels' defence untroubled

The second half was altogether more entertaining, helped in large measure by an early goal; and, true to the run of first-half play and possession, it was Enfield who took the advantage through the influential Corey Whitely. He received the ball in mid-run towards the left, on the edge of the area, checked back inside twice across two defenders and unleashed a curling right-footed drive high into the inside of the right-hand netting, beyond the 'keeper's despairing late dive. The 1-0 advantage was the least Enfield deserved for their more adventurous play; and it signaled a change of plan for the visitors, which opened up play and created far more excitement for the attentive crowd. Enfield still controlled the lion's (or fox's, or eagle's or greyhound's, or wolf's?) share of possession and threat; but it was a predictable sucker counter-punch which saw the Angels restore parity through Billy Medlock, who beat 'keeper Nathan McDonald at his near post, after a swift and well-worked passing move down the left.

Amongst several other players to see the yellow card flourished (in a game of the usual, poor, erratic, inconsistent and pedantic refereeing) was the Angels' exotically-named #7, Flavio Tavares. It turned out this was not the renowned Brazilian journalist, former political prisoner and student activist - but the former Hayes & Yeading midfielder. I quickly put away my autograph book.

It looked for all the world as though Enfield's night of toil and endeavour, against an organised and stalwart defense, would provide the small reward of an, arguably, much-needed point; but this was not to be. With the game just about to enter added time, a snap-shot from the edge of the 6-yard box, after some scrappy, penalty area pin-ball action, proved decisive; as Enfield's CB and #4, Taylor Hastings, stole an unexpected late winner; this despite some increased huff and puff from the visitors, in overdue response.

At the final whistle, home fans celebrated like they had just made the play-offs; and, after back-to-back wins for the first time this season, who knows but that might yet be a possibility. The change in team management (with no changes in playing staff) had reaped 6 quick points, more than doubling the Towners' previous total and pushing them up into 15th place - a mere 2 points behind Billericay, in 10th - see the latest table at: http://www.enfieldtownfootballclub.co.uk/s/table-65370.html

After the final whistle, Brad Quinton brought his team over to the adoring support for some fist-punching, glory-taking, post-match celebrations ... and then sat them all down inside the penalty area, perhaps for some Phil-Brown-style Hull home truths, about how hard the journey to glory might yet be.

Spot the difference part IV: Phil Brown, Brad Quinton & cheeky Jimmy Bullard

It is probably too early yet to decide whether Quinton truly is the Enfield Messiah; but at least he has not yet shown, unlike his predecessor George Borg (allegedly) that he is "a very naughty boy".

In a week when the traditional international break saw England's senior game so very nearly humbled (and so nearly out-fought and out-thought) in a 'friendly' by the part-time pickled herring-munchers of Norway, in front of the lowest crowd for an England match at "New" Wembley since it was re-opened in 2007, perhaps it is time for more sports fans to rediscover the grass roots of English soccer, as Saturday brings the return of Non-League Football Day. BBC Breakfast's sports presenter, Mike Bushell, quoted the perhaps unsurprising statistic that, of 220 starting players on the opening day of the Premier League season, only 85 were home-grown. That's less than 39%. At least if you seek out non-league entertainment this weekend, you'll be far more likely to see home-grown talent on display, wherever you watch; and, who knows, you might even catch another Enfield Town victory. Yes, even at home to table-toppers and former Football League outfit Maidstone United, who are by far and away the best supported side in the league and whose only defeat of the season so far came on the road,  at fellow Kent club ...  Tonbridge Angels F. C. I'm looking forward to a record attendance. So Come On, You Towners!

Important questions answered? I hope so. Although Monday's Euro 2016 qualifier for England, in Switzerland, may answer a few more.

Must try harder: “Don’t give me that. Two shots on target?" grumbled a rattled Hodgson; but even one of THOSE was Capt. Rooney's well-taken penalty / goal.

Wayne gave the right sort of response to defender Vegard Forren's pre-match banter, in which he branded the England striker and captain “a bit chubby”. Not only was Forren's comment fair enough, it was also a reasonable bit of revenge for the antics of a former England superstar, Paul Gascoigne. Just before England’s World Cup qualifier with Norway in October 1992, Gazza was asked by NRK network reporter Thor Eggen if he had a message for Norway. Almost inevitably, Paul had: ‘Yes,’ replied Gazza. ‘F*ck off Norway!’ Thor Eggen couldn’t help but laugh - and pour yet another round of drinks. Norway, of course, famously went on (along with Holland) to dump England out of qualification for the World Cup finals of USA '94. Which also goes to show just what a good result that really was for England on Wednesday ... in beating 'mighty' Norway ... at home ... by a single goal ... even if it WAS 'only' from a penalty.

Humourist(?) Gascoigne belatedly admits to his smoking problem