Eight Million New Enfield Town Fans? Now THAT's what I call "The Magic of the Cup"

Enfield Town FC versus Hitchin Town FC

The FA Cup, Third Qualifying Round
Saturday 10th October, 2015 – 3pm kick-off

"Magic" may, in fact, be rather too strong a word for what I witnessed when I attended this game. Hitchin Town's "Canaries" play at the same 7th level of the English football pyramid as Enfield; a sister league currently known as the Evo-Stik League Southern. One of the two sides would, of course, come unstuck in today's knock-out tie - unless there was a draw. In which case, they would require a replay at Hitchin, to be followed by extra-time and penalties, if events were not conclusive within the normal 90 minutes.

I knew something unusual was afoot as soon as I spotted THE QUEUE to get into the Donkey Lane ground, which stretched from the turnstiles, across the road and out into the car park - a Health & Safety executive's nightmare! OK, fair enough, so it was "Non League Day" in an International break weekend; and Hitchin Town had brought a decent following; but neither of these things fully explained the crowd of 883 who had turned out to watch The Two Towns go head-to-head for a lucrative minimum 'purse' of £7,500 winners' prize money; and that would be on top of the bumper gate receipts. This was the largest crowd ever seen at the QEII stadium for a competitive fixture; and far more than double the average gate. Unbeknownst to me, there had been a fair bit of pre-match publicity from the BBC, who were giving a trial run to "a 'Mobile Match of the Day Live' which is set to be a first for a major broadcaster in Europe – televising a 'fans’ eye view' of the whole experience of a football match using mobile phones only; from filming at the game, through streaming direct to the audience’s mobile via the BBC Sport website"  ... and all at little old Enfield!

Anyway, according to the BBC's pre-match blurb, Enfield was about to be become the epicentre of a veritable sports media maelstrom ("We’ll support the broadcast with a live page on the front page of the BBC Sport website, where we are likely to reach a UK audience of around 8m users across the day"). Now I don't wish to seem churlish; but I'm a fan of the club - and, if I hadn't gone researching reasons for the over-sized crowd, even I wouldn't have seen a single word of BBC coverage before, during or after the game. If I hadn't gone along to the ground myself, I wouldn't have known anything about it at all. I'm not sure if that makes it a successful BBC trial run, or not; but I'd love to have been in the lavish executive suite as a witness, when those involved and responsible were carrying out their self-serving post-event analysis / justification.

Interestingly(?) when offered the chance of similar media coverage in the next round, Football Club United of Manchester (you may have heard of them!) told the BBC, in no uncertain terms, to go shove it. Perhaps they had witnessed the alleged Enfield media maelstrom ... in a tea cup. Their club web-page explains their rejection, under the headline "Football is a sport, not a television game show" - see http://www.fc-utd.co.uk/m_story.php?story_id=6454

The large crowd might also, in part, have been a reaction to media revelations about the extreme cost of attending top flight games. "Cheap seats at the opera cost less than lowest price Premier League tickets" screamed the Guardian, as the BBC published its annual survey of football ground charges (http://www.theguardian.com/football/2015/oct/21/football-fans-protests-spark-outrage-over-ticket-prices).

Among other oddities experienced on the day was the sight of a number of unfamiliar gents roaming around the ground with expensive-looking camera and sound gear. Plus a variety of unfamiliar flags. One in particular seemed to suggest that Stevenage Borough fans had boosted the crowd figure and made the journey down the A1 especially, to cheer on the home side against their local non-league neighbours - which all appeared very strange to me! The emblazoned message (partially obscured by an inconveniently parked baby-buggy - it's just that kind of a club!) reads: "Against Modern Football".

Anybody who has seen Enfield Town play will know that we are, even at the best of times, broadly opposed to football in general and in most of its forms; but as for "modern football"? I don't suspect there's too much danger it will catch on round here any time soon. Unless it gets smuggled in surreptitiosly by some of our various visitors. Talking of which ...

"Not a Lot of People Know THAT!"

Hitchin's original club (Hitchin FC) took part in the inaugural FA Cup competition in 1871–72; reaching the quarter-finals before losing to the eventual runners-up, Royal Engineers. In 1905, Hitchin defeated Chelsea 3–2 to become the first away team to win at Stamford Bridge. Having turned professional during the early years of the 20th century, this early club folded in 1911, following that old bug bear "financial difficulties" - and a fire at their ground.

But that was THEN - and this is now! Today's Hitchin Town team looked on paper like a decidedly young outfit; especially at the back: GK aged 20; #2 19; #3 22; #4 21 ... making their #5, Dan Webb, seem like the veritably geriatric stalwart granddaddy of the side at the venerable age of 25. Yet it was the two defences which held the upper hand in the early exchanges - the first on-target effort not arriving until the 27th minute of the game. That was probably just as well for Enfield; since Hitchin very much held sway in the first half. Especially on their right flank through tricksy, flame-headed winger, #7 Johnny McNamara. Up front their #9 target man, John Frendo, seemed to be carrying the extra weight of a couple of pies too many; but along with his bulk, he also had about him just the level of rumbustious guile that could cause the home side pain and trouble, when they least expected it. Enfield arguably had the best chance of the half, though, when their own CF, #10 Harry Ottaway, failed to connect meaningfully with a header from a nicely flighted cross to the far post. Driving it downwards acutely into the ground, rather than at the gaping target of Hitchin's net.

My view of the match was not my normal one. With such a larger than usual crowd, even finding pitch-side rail-space with a decent view proved difficult in the first half; but I couldn't, ultimately, grumble with the spot I did manage to secure: including, as it did, the beautiful old main stand as a backdrop (see above). And it meant that I had a prime view of Hitchin's main threat, as McNamara tortured the Enfield defence right before my very eyes. Luckily, Hitchin's first half possession, pace, precision, persistence and pressure all came to nothing. The teams turned around with the score still 0-0; and Enfield happy to have maintained a clean sheet. 

Manager Brad Quinton was probably not so happy, though. He appeared to have 'had words' at half-time; and possibly a couple of tea cups of his own. Because Enfield came out of the blocks faster; with much more energy and a better game plan, in the second half. It truly was that well-worn cliché "a game of two halves", as Enfield rapidly achieved the dominant role that had been so elusive in the first period. This was facilitated in part by the replacement of diminutive #9, Dernell Wynter, with the returning Corey Whitely. Suddenly MacNamara's duties switched very much from attack to defence on Hitchin's right, to cover the threat of the lively Enfield winger.

The home support became increasingly vociferous as the game wore on. Enfield looked more and more the team most likely to break the deadlock. As ever, you can read more gory details in the club's website match report: http://www.enfieldtownfootballclub.co.uk/teams/65370/match-centre/2-29263.

Suffice it to say that for all the huff and puff of 90 minutes, there were no goals to show; and both sides would need to reconvene just 2 days later at Hitchin's "iconic" Top Field ground - a new 'stadium' for this intrepid reporter. It was very much to be hoped that Enfield could carry over into this next fixture the appetite of their second half performance, rather than that of the first 45 minutes. I wondered how many home fans would make the Monday night journey, as I hoped that the Enfield club's website headline would not come true, literally: "Towns to do it all again". Something would have to give, next time out.

The Magic of the Cup - part II: It was the Best of Towns; it was the worst of Towns
Hitchin Town FC versus Enfield Town FC
The FA Cup, Third Qualifying Round Replay
Monday 12th October, 2015 – 7.45pm kick-off

With apologies to Charles Dickens for paraphrasing his "Tale of Two Cities"; but, after tonight's action was concluded, we would finally know which town's team matched which part of that description. And which could bank an incremental £7,500 of prize money. Enfield's recent lucky mascot and winning omen, Callum, had joined me for the journey up the A1 to North Hertfordshire and a 'new' ground. So what could possibly go wrong? The pre-match medley, playing over the Hitchin tannoy system as we arrived included The Kinks' "Lola" from 1970 - a year when Top Field had probably already seen far better "Days" (1968). "It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world", Ray Davies sang; and who could disagree with him? We stood in the confines of a yellow-and-green-painted stadium, ready to take on 'The Canaries', kitted out in matching yellow and green? "Are - You - Nor - Wich - In - Dis - Guise?"

Floodlight horror "porn"; back-lighting makes the iconic trees at Top Field go all Stephen King-esque.

Did Enfield Town fans, arriving for the evening's replay in optimistic mood, realise that their club were unlikely to win the FA Cup outright? Surely the really big sides (like Forest Green Rovers) would just have too much for them, even if they were able to get past the mighty Hitchin Town. If so, they weren't letting on: "We're the famous Towners' Army and we're going to Wem-ber-ley - WEM-BER-LEY ... WEM-BER-LEY ...". While not quite as impressive as Saturday's record Enfield crowd (of 883) at the original tie, a healthy 486 brave souls had made the effort on a Monday night to take in the replay; and a good proportion were (noisily) in the Away end.
Cal inspects the Enfield club flag on the North Terrace in the first half. Enfield's "Ultras" form the backdrop.

Despite those bold assertions of the travelling fans, the first half at Hitchin started off just as the first half at Enfield had done: with The Canaries dominant and Enfield's performance strangely muted. To be fair, the standard of refereeing was at the now-familiar "dross" level; very much favouring the home side and generating hearty ironic cheers for the all-too-few decisions going in Enfield's favour. Despite failing to assert much control of the game, however, the visitors were clinging on manfully to their clean sheet ... right up until the 40th minute. Hitchin took the lead in extremely dubious circumstances. A throw-in conceded deep, deep inside the home half, almost beside the corner-flag, was quickly taken half-way towards the half-way line, without being spotted or penalised by the officials. The howls of outrage from the travelling supporters were quickly drowned out; as Enfield's #7 Ryan Doyle dwelt on a ball that he should have immediately despatched without ceremony over the stand and out of the ground towards Luton, for a throw-in. Attempting to make a yard for himself with some clever hip-sways, jinks and step-overs, he was dispossessed deep on Enfield's left by Hitchin's "tricksy, flame-headed winger, #7 Johnny McNamara" (yes, HIM again!) who cut the ball back sharply for the on-rushing Burns to fire home with aplomb: 1-0 - and it was hard to argue that Hitchin's possession and determination hadn't deserved the half-time lead they took into the break. Despite the ungentlemanly nature of THAT throw-in. McNamara had let Enfield off the hook as early as the 15th minute, when he had driven fat-boy-slim John Frendo's clever pass against McDonald's bar, with some venom.

Just as in the first tie, though, the competing teams' roles were reversed in the second half. The fans had changed ends; so had the teams; and so had dominance on the field of play. Enfield quickly established an advantage of possession and territory that had previously eluded them. With the away fans boisterously singing their praises, the men in purple first snatched an equaliser. After 65 minutes, Centre-Back Vilcu got up ahead of his challengers for a high ball, leaving the busy (and unmarked!) CF, #10 Harry Ottaway, with plenty of space and time to poke the ball past Hitchin's over-exposed 'keeper, Charlie Horlock - whose league experience with Wycombe helped him find and retrieve the ball, which nestled sweetly in the back of his net.

Ottaway levels the tie (photo:  Tom Scott)

A period of unrelenting Enfield pressure ensued. After a number of decent chances FINALLY came the go-ahead goal.  Devyne advanced with the ball on the left and, after drawing desperate defenders towards him, squared it for the big man Vilcu, who (not content with merely setting up the equaliser) drove it in without fear. Perhaps unsurprisingly, Hitchin heads dropped. They looked for all the world like a beaten team ... and so they were.

Vilcu sends Enfields travelling fans into Cup Heaven (photo:  Tom Scott)
After 80 minutes came a chance to finish the tie off for sure. Devyne found himself in the clear, with only Horlock to beat; but his on-target effort was blocked by the 'keepers legs. Although Gabriel also had a late chance, these were mostly nervous final minutes for the travelling support. Quinton made a couple of late changes to slow down and break up the game and introduce fresh legs; and Enfield's players showed their steel, holding on for a famous 1-2 away win ... and the chance of yet more Cup glory. The jubilant away fans sang so hard and so irrepressibly that they had run out of ideas long before the final whistle came: "E-ven your treez-are-sh*t!" (to Verdi's "La Donna è Mobile") was one of the more repeatable refrains. It was a fair result on balance. Enfield had showed True Grit and determination to come back from behind. Hitchin had, once again, lost their way in the second half.

Speaking to local North Herts. paper "The Comet" after the game, home manager Mark Burke said “I’m bitterly disappointed. I was really proud of the boys first half. We played some really good football and created a number of chances. We showed passion and desire and fully deserved to be 1-0 up. We could have been 2-0 up, and that’s what we needed to do – get that second goal. At this level if you don’t take your chances you will get punished and we have been.

“Second half I can’t put my finger on it. We didn’t play any football at all. We were really poor... I’m gutted with that second half performance. They got on top, I think maybe they’re a little bit they’re more experienced. It’s still a young team". Enfield were "the best of towns" after all, then. This Hitchin-tinted review confirms it:
http://www.thecomet.net/sport/hitchin-town-fc/canaries_are_knocked_out_of_fa_cup_by_enfield_1_4268824

And The Comet's match reporter also tweeted big respect for Enfield's '12th man', too: "Try telling the joyous @ETFCOfficial players & their vociferous travelling fans the #FACup doesn't mean anything".

The Enfield Gazette and Advertiser emblazoned a "Date With Destiny" headline across their back page, to publicise the club's reward for this gutsy win: another tough away tie; this time at Chesham United, on Saturday. The winners could face League opposition in the First Round 'proper'. The losers will clutch at straws; at maybes and what-ifs. It's so exciting! I just hope I can get in, to bring you coverage of the clash. Wiki tells me that their ground (The Meadow) only holds 5,000.

"We're the famous Towners' Army and we're going to Wem-ber-ley - WEM-BER-LEY ... WEM-BER-LEY ...". Well to Chesham, at least, which is only 24 miles from Wembley.

A long time ago, in a football galaxy far, far away...

Fulham FC versus Wolverhampton Wanderers

English Championship
Tuesday 29th September, 2015 – 7.45pm kick-off

It is often said that Nostalgia just ain't wot it used to be. For instance, how vividly do YOU still recall YOUR first football match? I have very strong memories of mine; but perhaps with good reason. Although the dog-eared, much-loved and much-reviewed match-day programme was mislaid many years ago, alas. Perhaps in a house move or loft clearance? When I was 12, though, such adult things were still a long way off in what would have seemed the unimaginably far distant future.

I went along to Craven Cottage to watch my first ever professional football match with one of my older brothers, who was already a Fulham fan of several years' standing (thanks, Kevin!) on Saturday 11th September, 1976. Was it REALLY nearly 40 years ago, already? It was certainly the kind of sunny afternoon that Ray Davies might have been proud of, down by Old Father Thames. A stroll along the riverbank through the Bishop's Park took me to the glorious home of London's oldest professional football club, on a day when they would be fielding some of London's oldest professional footballers. The stellar, top-flight player roster of WOLVERHAMPTON WANDERERS was a part of the allure that afternoon, to be sure. Recently relegated to the 'Second Division', as was, they would bounce straight back into the top flight as Champions, that season. As important as the men in gold, however, was the man who had once lifted gold for England at Wembley: Robert Frederick Chelsea Moore, O.B.E. - better known to most as "Bobby". ("... the best I ever worked with. Without him England would never have won the World Cup" - Sir Alf Ramsey). Moore would be dead just 16 years later; survived for 12 further years by another of the game's greats, who also lined up in a white Fulham shirt that day alongside "Sir" Bobby: George Best. Georgie was playing his first ever home game for the club. It should come as no surprise to anyone who appreciates his talent to hear that the crowd of 25,794 present for his debut was almost three times the size of the gate for Fulham's opening home game of the season just a few weeks earlier (against Nottingham Forest, who would also go on to gain promotion that year). Never one to understate his importance to the game or to the crowds, Best once tellingly observed "Pele said he thought I was the greatest ever player. I have always thought I was the best ever player ... I have never looked at another player and felt inferior"). He had scored just 71 seconds into his Fulham debut the previous week, at Bristol Rovers.

These two all-time superstars of The Beautiful Game were joined on the pitch by Rodney Marsh. A star who, by comparison, perhaps shone less brightly - but often just as loud (as "Rod the Mod"). Although only on loan at the club for a brief spell, Marsh was returning to the spiritual home where he had started his career, back in the early ("swinging") '60's. This was a line-up most football fans could barely even dream of seeing together, sporting their beloved club's 'jersey'; and long before the mega-billions of the current Premier League had even been thought possible.

Best & Marsh in full flight against The Wolves: Sept. 11, 1976

So many big names, such a Galaxy of stars, were on the pitch in that glorious September sunshine, in fact, that the fixture had been chosen by the BBC as their featured game on "Match of the Day", that night, despite being a second-tier tie. At first I thought: "What a swizz!". I felt I could, perhaps, have saved up my pocket money for another day and a different, non-televised fixture. I soon realised, though, that there could be an up-side. Since it also meant I would be able to re-live the events of the day later on; and see all the Fulham goals again ... with modern, slow-motion, 'action replay' technology. Of course, "Harney's Law" came into play; and there were no goals. Despite all of the talent on the pitch, we witnessed a no-score draw; though it was very far from a bore-draw. After the game, Fulham lay in 14th place (out of 22 clubs) while Wolves were 4th. It turned out to have been a good result for us; and potentially an important point. Since, as I have mentioned already, The Wanderers would go on to end the season as Champions, promoted back into the top flight (with Chelsea & Nottingham Forest); while Fulham would finish in a precarious 17th place, just one all-important point (but, admittedly, +19 goals) above the drop zone inhabited by Carlisle United, Plymouth Argyle & Hereford United.

Not many Fulham fans can (honestly) claim the honour of having seen that Holy Trinity in action. They actually played as a trio only 15 times; but I was hooked. No matter how the season might have later progressed. It is understood to be one of those unwritten laws of the true football fan that you must stick with the first side you choose to go and watch - and I was never going to be a Wolves fan. So Fulham it was, for me. As an illustration of the power, truth and universality of this immutable fan law, let me recount to you the outline of a radio 'phone-in conversation I overheard recently, on BBC Radio London. An elderly fan was speaking of the first game to which his own dad had taken him along, "shortly after the war". They were expecting to go to White Hart Lane for Spurs' Boxing Day fixture; but heavy snow that day meant the game there was postponed, along with fixtures across most of snow-swept London. Miraculously, the ground staff at Brisbane Road had been able to prepare the playing surface to the satisfaction of the referee. Desperate to take in a holiday fixture, Dad and son had managed to get along there. "And, Robert" the elderly gent intoned "ever since that day I've been a Leyton Orient fan all my life, as a result". I, in my turn, of course, ensured that the first match my son (Callum) got to see was also a Fulham game. On a Bank Holiday Monday (28th August, 2000) when he was still 6 years old, he came with me to see the Whites' away win at Carrow Road (we were on holiday, about an hour's drive away). He has, ever since, been an ardent fan of  ... (Tottenham) Hotspur F. C.. To his credit (and to be fair to him) Spurs are his local club. And Fulham do remain his "second team".

Fast-Forward almost exactly 39 years from that sunny summer's day of childhood memory, from those white- and gold-remembered hills, to Tuesday 29th Sept. 2015 and a repeat of the same fixture. I would find much that has changed over those intervening years - but a lot that has not. Despite predatory ownership upheavals in the late '80's and threats to the ongoing survival of the Craven Cottage ground, Fulham still play at (and own) the home they have enjoyed since 1896. They play in English football's second tier, after a run of 13 uninterrupted seasons in the top flight which ended as recently as May 2014. The big name stars have come and gone; as have many 'journeyman' players. The club badge has changed (though not "beyond all recognition", as some purists would have you believe) and we have only got through a few owners in those intervening years; with varied degrees of success. Oh, and this time the visiting, all-gold Wolverhampton side would be playing in ... sky blue! There was no colour clash; so this was, presumably, a move aimed at maximising club revenue from additional shirt sales.

 

Spot the Difference: Then and Now - 45 degrees ... and a bit of red?

This year, the Fulham-Wolves fixture was a mid-week one, under floodlights. I was lucky enough to identify a work colleague, Paul, who is a Wolves fan. An ex-pat, doing missionary work in London and the Home Counties. It was the job of just moments for us to convince ourselves that we both needed to get along to the Cottage to see the action, close-up and personal. Accordingly, I got hold of a pair of tickets for the Riverside Stand. Fulham would be resurgent, after a crushing 4-0 local 'derby' win over QPR. Wolves were likely to be more unsteady: chairman-less since the day before and up for sale. Bad timing there, surely.

Wiki: "The Johnny Haynes stand (originally the Stevenage Road Stand) is the oldest remaining stand in the Football League. Constructed in 1905, the Grade II* listed building was designed by Archibald Leitch"

For all that optimistic pre-match outlook, however, it should be noted that the word "Fulham-ish" is a much-used adjective, amongst long-serving (long-suffering?) club fans. Fans of some other teams may have experienced a similar sentiment (roughly "that is just so typical of OUR club!") but few have created a vocabulary to express the feeling quite so succinctly. Having arrived in the hope of seeing 3 home points bravely earned, and an assault on the top end of the league table, this would turn out to be a very "Fulham-ish" evening. I will let you read the gory details, as professionally described by the BBC Sport website (http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/34321292). Suffice it to say that both sides had started nervously; with neither looking sharp in the final third. The key event, though, in an erstwhile broadly even contest, was the 35th minute dismissal of Fulham's right-midfielder, Tom Cairney. Having failed to control a ball delivered into his feet, he over-stretched in his efforts to retain/regain the ball. A straight red card was flourished for an out-of-control challenge. Oops! Adam Le Fondre theatrically made the most of the challenge, to ensure his side gained the all-important extra man advantage. So much so, in fact, that many present would later be surprised to see him rise from the dead, or even play football again. Alas, such is the nature of the modern professional game. It had looked a harsh decision, "live" and at full speed; but reviewing the highlights at home, later, I could see why it had gone that way. The wily Le Fondre (of course - who else could it possibly have been?) went on to score the visitors' opener, in the 56th minute. Not dead at all, then!

What HAVE I just done?! Fulham's #10 (Cairney, seated) looks on resignedly, as Le Fondre (prone) receives the last rites from a passing priest. Silly boy!

The referee played 97 minutes of football, in total. Unusually, I had arrived 10 minutes late, due to major travel problems (sound familiar?). So I only actually saw about 25 minutes of "11-vs-11" action. I calculate that 64% of the game was conducted with just 21 men - 71% of what I saw. I knew that a partial refund was unlikely, though. The rest of what might otherwise have been an interesting (even intriguing) and evenly-matched contest may well have been, effectively, spoiled for most of the 15,000 fans present by one decision; but did referee Darren Drysdale really have any alternative options? What was to follow was certainly not worth the entrance money, for the home majority. As Fulham worked hard chasing blue shadows and slowly tired,  they succumbed to an almost-inevitable 0-3 defeat. I wondered whether club chairmen shouldn't step down every week, in search of such success; and was also reminded of some of the sentiments expressed after this same fixture last season: "Cries of 'Felix out' as Fulham struggle against Wolves" - http://www.getwestlondon.co.uk/sport/football/match-reports/cries-felix-out-fulham-struggle-7646883 (20/8/14).

Home fans were seen streaming for the exits as soon as James Henry had scored the fateful third goal in the 78th minute, from a free-kick on the edge of the box - another 'soft' decision from Mr. Drysdale. Having missed so much of the early action, however, we were both determined to stay until the bitter end. For Paul, the decision to stay was an easy one; for me it was genuinely more bitter than sweet. Bragging rights certainly went to the gold/blue visitors for the second year running; but I was left with "if-onlys" and "what-ifs?" to contemplate. This dour fixture was not one my 12-year-old self would have relished watching ... nor would I have gladly parted with hard-earned pocket money to see it.

The Riverside Stand beckons again. Next up for me at The Cottage will be Leeds United, on Wednesday 21st October; with a former colleague, Richard, who is a Leeds fan. Their club owner has just been disqualified by the Football League, after being found guilty in Italy of non-payment of VAT ... AND they also have a new  manager: former Rotherham United boss, "Mighty" Steve Evans. Under such circumstances, I have learned to expect an unexpected away win. It would just be so "Fulham-ish". They can always let you down. I will travel more in hope than expectation.

Appendices

Some favourite Bobby Moore quotes:

"He was my friend as well as the greatest defender I ever played against. The world has lost one of its greatest football players and an honourable gentleman" Pelé

"Bobby Moore was the best defender in the history of the game ...a real gentleman and a true friend." Franz Beckenbauer

"Moore was the best defender I have ever seen." Sir Alex Ferguson

"There should be a law against him. He knows what's happening 20 minutes before everyone else." Jock Stein

"My captain, my leader, my right-hand man. He was the spirit and the heartbeat of the team. A cool, calculating footballer I could trust with my life. He was the supreme professional, the best I ever worked with. Without him England would never have won the World Cup." Alf Ramsey

Some favourite George Best quotes:
"I once said Gazza's IQ was less than his shirt number and he asked me: "What's an IQ?"
"I'd give all the Champagne I've ever drunk to be playing alongside him in a big European match at Old Trafford." Talking about former United front-man Eric Cantona.
"In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life." 
"I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World."
"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered." "If you'd given me the choice of going out and beating four men and smashing a goal in from thirty yards against Liverpool or going to bed with Miss World, it would have been a difficult choice. Luckily, I had both."
"He cannot kick with his left foot, he cannot head a ball, he cannot tackle and he doesn't score many goals. Apart from that he's all right." Best's view on David Beckham.

And Rodney Marsh?:
"The last time I was picked by Alf Ramsey for England we had a team talk before the game. Alf told me we all had to work harder. "Rodney you in particular." Then he said: "if you don't work hard I'm going to pull you off at half time." And I said: "Christ, at Man City all we get is a cup of tea and an orange." Nobody laughed. And not only that, but it was the last time I ever got picked".
"... in Alfredo di Stéfano's book he says that I was the most gifted footballer outside of Brazil. That made me feel good. I played against his Valencia team twice and we f*cking murdered them. But you couldn't have a team of Rodney Marshes".

... how VERY true!

... And now, after some unavoidable delays ...

Enfield Town versus Farnborough

Ryman League Premier Division
Saturday 19th September, 2015 – 3pm kick-off

An explanatory note, offered ever so 'umbly
It has been quite a long time since faithful followers of this blog page (both of them? - incidentally, did you know YOU can become a "Follower", too!) have had something new to read and chew over. Now, just like those pesky, apocryphal London buses, several match reports have come along in quick succession, pretty much all together. I do, however, have a number of well-rehearsed excuses to offer up as extenuating circumstances, in my defence ... and I hope that 'normal service' will now be resumed.

Firstly, since my last match report (Bank Holiday Monday's home 1-1 draw with East Thurrock) The Town have, as I warned you at the time, faced a series of away league fixtures - all of which I missed. They returned to action at Donkey Lane almost two weeks later, taking on the non-league enigma which is currently Farnborough (relegated from the Conference South at the end of last season). Due to "financial irregularities", it was touch and go for a while as to whether they would be allowed to take part in the Ryman Isthmian Premier League at all, this year. They appear to have been cleared to compete however; and your intrepid reporter was on hand to spectate, to expectorate, to ruminate and to fulminate - or, at least, to bring you all the relevant, biassed, gory details.

But wait, you might protest. This next post was first published almost a month after that last match date and report; an unexplained gap. And you would be correct! A couple of factors have intervened to interrupt your normal routine of delight and delectation. The time warp effect was kicked off by my recent focus on a Three Peaks Challenge, under-taken with former work colleagues ... during the Rugby World Cup ... in late September ... in Yorkshire ... where they famously "know what they bloody well like" ... and they certainly DON'T seem to like having the Over-50's taking on their toughest walks.DH during ...                                               and "Après"

  

It only took me a couple of days to recover from the Yorkshire-induced aches and blisters; but then some serious gardening (and a serious bad back, resulting) extended my prolonged absence from the keyboard, even further than originally anticipated. For all of which I sincerely and "umbly" apologise. Fear not though, faithful fans and followers. The Towners (& The Cottagers) exploits have been dutifully captured, as ever; and several posts have now been published, all at once, in order to keep you from any further self-harm which may have been induced by their recent absence. So enjoy ... and think of me, ibuprofen at the ready, continuing to try and recover from my strained lower back - and a dismal England performance in the Rugby World Cup!

Although the town of Farnborough was founded in Saxon times and is mentioned in the Domesday Book of 1086, the football club has far less deep roots and history than its home town. Originally established in 1968 (as Farnborough Town F.C.) the current club is newly (re)formed, after a catalogue of crises and mismanagement which will be familiar to many who care to follow the fortunes of non-league football. The club's own web page, commenting on their history, describes their progress "From park side to the Conference in 21 years" - perhaps the archetypal "Cinderella" football story - and their subsequent REgress, back down to the 7th Tier. "Boro", or "The Yellows" were RE-founded as recently as 2007, making their latest reincarnation theoretically an even younger club than Enfield Town F. C. (the latter founded 2001).

When they finally got their delayed start to the season under way, they began it with a promising win over Lewes. Three straight league defeats since then brought them to Donkey Lane as a side against whom the Towners would be looking to ignite their own season. The table was being unkind to both teams. Enfield went into the tie with just 5 league points and 3 league goals to their name, from the first 9 games. A poor return by almost anybody's standards; but particularly for a club who were only prevented from tearing up last seasons's play-offs by the petty vindictiveness and injustice of the FA's non-league bureaucracy. Had ETFC become a bad team in the close-season? Manager Bradley Quinton said not. Before the game, Speaking to Enfield Gazette & Advertiser after an FA Cup Replay victory, he said:  “Our injury problems are easing gradually, and I maintain the real Enfield Town will show themselves once we are back to full strength, as we attempt to get to the performance levels we were hitting at the back end of last season. You certainly don’t become a bad team overnight and I’ve got full faith in the lads. When four or five key players get injured at the same time, as happened to us, then that can effect any team. Corey [Whitely] is probably a week or two away from returning. He’s eager to get back and play but just needs to do some more strengthening work. “We’ve got two more home games coming up now and the boys are looking forward to it. We could have another couple of new signings around by Saturday and I think that things are looking good for the club. As I’ve said before, a lot of teams want to bring us down after the great job we did getting into the play-off positions last term and we’re well watched now. Last year proved that nothing is settled in the first few months of any season, and we’ll continue to roll up our sleeves like we did last time around. We are building momentum slowly and we are getting there.”

The visitors had, however, recently brought in reinforcements of their own, including Sanders and Webb; both with recent league club experience, from Sheffield Wednesday and Millwall, respectively. Both would start against Town. So it was a difficult game to call. Would the visitors' strengthening actions be enough to thwart Enfield? Or would Quinton's faith in his returning players and his own planned new signings signal a new assault on the right (that is, the top) end of the table? You can read the club website's full match report here: http://www.enfieldtownfootballclub.co.uk/teams/65370/match-centre/1-1607231. The unofficial, Harney-fied version goes like this.

My son, Callum, joined me for his first Enfield Town game in some time, boosting the crowd to just 372 - although, to be fair, only 3 games in the league enjoyed bigger crowds that day. Freshly graduated and returned home, I hoped Cal's presence would be a good omen for Towners success. Although that started to seem unlikely as early as the second minute, when McDonald needed to produce a strong-wristed save to thwart a Farnborough break-away move and to maintain Enfield's clean sheet. Fortunately, excellent Town wing play immediately after this earned a corner, which Nathan Livings' took from the left. The result was a headed goal at the far post for Towners CB and #4, Claudiu Vilcu, following Harry Ottaway's tidy flick-on. It was a rare sight for the home crowd; only Enfield's 4th goal of the season (their 3rd at home) in already their 10th game. 

This photo: Tom Scott - Vilcu's sunny, white-booted, headed goal.

Of course, almost inevitably, what followed next was a passage of Boro pressure which saw McDonald save with his feet at his right post (6 minutes in) and at his left post (14 minutes in) before the visitors' #10 Harry Williams finally equalised with a low shot, driven across the 'Keeper from the left and ending up just inside the right-hand post. Town did generally look to be more resolute than in previous games, though; and their lead was duly restored in the 27th minute by #10 Devyne, cutting in from the left and shooting, after a Gabriel throw-in.

Ricky Gabriel's throw-in from the left (in front of the main stand). The ball (top left) found Devyne, who then cut inside and scored to make it 2-1.

It was a deserved lead, which Town were to maintain and take into the break. A 'lively' first half could not have prepared many fans for the incident-filled second half, which was to follow. It is pretty much an unwritten rule of non-league football, as I have witnessed it, that you may kick and elbow lumps out of your opponent and take most of the laws of the game right up to the limit for most of the match; and yet go unpunished. Whilst any retaliation to perceived undue physicality or injustice, by contrast, will be dealt with severely and instantly by even the very weakest of weak referees. This may actually form a part of the little-known, fifth canonical gospel, as written by Saint Des, along with an edict not to show dissent; but I digress. Given the broad understanding of this unwritten retaliation rule, it is amazing how often players (and, in particular, Enfield Town players) forget it. This week it was the turn of #10 Bobby Devyne to let down his team-mates. Just 7 minutes into the second half, Devyne gave Farnborough the extra man advantage their play had barely deserved, as he picked up a straight red card for his altercation with the visitors' #4, Ryan Scott - who was merely yellow-carded. It was heart-in-mouth time for Enfield fans. Though only briefly! 

Just 3 minutes later, and against the reshuffled odds, Town increased their lead; and it was simple stuff. Gabriel challenged the visiting 'Keeper for a high ball. CF Ottaway poked away the ball from his fumble: 3-1 - AND, as a bonus, goalie Victor Silvestre-Brotone was booked for his prolonged protests about the initial challenge. This yellow card would become more significant later in the game. Boro failed to take advantage of their 'extra man', rarely threatening the Enfield goal. One of the best chances fell at the other end, in fact, when Town sub Evans Kouassi (#16) fluffed a great chance from about 10 yards out after his own excellent run with the ball. With six minutes of normal time remaining, he missed the chance to extend Town's lead, trying to place his shot, rather than blast it. A schoolboy error, at this level. The two goal lead did seem enough, though, to most home fans, with Boro still failing to impress, going forwards.

With normal time already over, Silvestre-Brotone came to the edge of his area to collect yet another hopeful Enfield through-ball. As White shirts busily homed in on him, he seemed to lose his bearings and caught the ball just as he had stepped out of his area. Previously stung by the 'Keeper's questioning of his decisions, referee Mr. Corlett had no hesitation in reaching for his yellow card once again (see earlier reference to these unwritten non-league rules, above). It was early-bath time for the original 'keeper, as Captain (#8) Courtney Fearn took the gloves off him to go 'between the sticks' for the few remaining minutes. The score was still 'only' 3-1; but now there were 10 men per side and the three points were starting to look secure. Made even more so in the 95th minute, when Kouassi ran onto another through-ball, rounded the replacement GK and finished with aplomb.

This photo: Tom Scott - Enfield's fourth goal-scorer, Evans Kouassi (in white) challenges Farnborough's Skipper, Fearn; whom he would later face (and beat) in goal.

Final score: ETFC 4 - 1 Farnborough; and Enfield had more than doubled their goal tally for the entire season in just one event-filled match. Perhaps Brad Quinton's optimistic pre-match predictions had some basis in fact, after all. Certainly Callum was looking like a new and very lucky mascot.

A footnote on those Farnborough team names: Victor Sylvestre Brotons undoubtedly represents an impressive Scrabble word score; but surely no player in the land can beat the beautifully-named 79th-minute substitute, Menga L’heureux, in the naming stakes. Although "Happy Menga" might not have been quite as cheerful as usual, when the team departed on their long, homeward journey, after the game.

Teams

Enfield: Nathan McDonald, Mickey Parcell, Ricky Gabriel, Claudiu Vilcu, Harold Joseph, Stanley Muguo (Joe Stevens 86), Tyler Campbell (Ryan Doyle 57), Nathan Livings, Harry Ottaway (Evans Kouassi 81), Bobby Devyne, Tayshan Hayden-Smith. Unused subs: Olumide Durojaiye, Dernell Wynter, Ryan Doyle, Evans Kouassi, Joe Stevens. Booked: Ottaway. Sent off: Devyne.

Farnborough: Victor Sylvestre Brotons, Callum Webb (Yassim Ben Elmhanni 58), Chinua Cole, Ryan Scott, Tom Broadbent, Ed Saunders, Lewis Collins (Menga L’heureux 79), CJ Fearn, Bobbie Dale, Harry Williams, Tommy Wright (Bradley Fraser 58). Unused subs: Jack Barton, Martin Dynan. Booked: Scott, Brotons. Sent off: Brotons.

In a League of Their Own

Enfield Town versus East Thurrock

Ryman League Premier Division
Monday 31st August, 2015 – 3pm kick-off

Middlesex versus Essex: The Big One ... apparently! When your club’s website is pre-empting a bad result by blatantly talking up the day’s visitors as a ‘bogey team’, then you know you could be in for a torrid time and some trouble, come the final whistle. It seems that Enfield Town have never beaten East Thurrock. A record that was (an optimist might say) surely overdue for breaking; despite the disparate league table positions of the teams at kick-off being 20^th and 9^th, respectively. Especially if one took into account Enfield's impressive pre-season friendly win against "The Rocks" (3-4) away at Rookery Hill, back on the first day of August. What a difference, however, a month has made for both clubs. Thurrock were given a big-up in the match-day programme (see cover, below) by Towners' vice-chairman Paul Millington as "one of the first clubs that gave us their support during the points deduction issue that arose at the end of last season". Fair play to them, then for that. Perhaps they would be equally accommodating over the small matter of 3 home points early this season?

It is, indeed, still very early in this campaign; but most Towners fans will already be hoping to avoid another "Winter of Discontent". Just three points from the first five league games is a poor return, it is true - all earned in a narrow home win against recently promoted Burgess Hill Town - but the Enfield side is somewhat changed from last season - including the heavy loss of former club captain and central-defensive rock, Mark Kirby. Injuries and absences have also cost us – as have a couple of injudicious red card offences. So one should not set too much store by the results exhibited so far. I went along to the QEII hoping that the final fixture of August might at last kick-start Town’s stuttering season into life, once and for all. On an English August Bank Holiday Monday, during the latest ‘International Break’, there wasn’t much else to do. 

Nine goals conceded in the first 6 games wasn’t the worst record in the league, somewhat surprisingly. Eleven other teams had fared as badly, or worse-ly, at the back. Although, perhaps more worryingly, I was left feeling a little unconvinced by Enfield’s scoring prowess to date; their paltry single goal scored so far in the league being the worst record of all the 24 teams. To be fair, I HAD already seen Enfield score a brace in a match against league rivals this season, Brentwood, as reported elsewhere on this blog; but that had been in the League Cup competition. It had also required them to be stung into action by going a goal behind, first.

The availability of key team members has been so mixed in previous games, that only TWO players have been ever-present in the 6 competitive fixtures played to-date. Both would feature prominently again, today: 'Keeper Nathan McDonald and Skipper, Ryan Doyle. The visitors have a squad boasting no less than three players claiming Caribbean nationalities. Although only one would feature today: Simon Peddie has been capped twice for the Montserrat national football team. They brought a reasonable amount of away support, which helped to muster a match attendance of 441 brave souls and masochists.

Before we get into details of the action, first a word about the day's weather. And what could sum it up better than the words of Henry Thacker Burleigh (1866-1949) made famous by Sister Rosetta Tharpe (1948) & Mahalia Jackson (1954):

Didn't it rain, children?
Talk 'bout rain, oh, my Lord!
Didn't it, didn't it, didn't it oh, my Lord,
Didn't it rain?
Didn't it rain, children?
Talk 'bout rain, oh, my Lord!
Didn't it, didn't it, didn't it, oh, my Lord,
Didn't it rain?

No, it didn't exactly "rain 40 days, 40 nights without stopping"; but Old Noah and both teams' faithful followers were still "glad when the rain finally did stop dropping". Yes, typical English Summer Bank Holiday weather played its part and meant that there had been some concern as to whether the pitch would be in fit condition for the match; and whether ("weather"?) it would get underway at all. By 2pm, however, the rain had cleared up enough to allow the referee to pronounce the fixture as "on". The greasy conditions seemed like a good omen for a healthy goal count. By 3.15pm, a persistent drizzle had returned, along with a Northerly breeze. It was a combination that had most fans heading for cover, making the home end officially "cosy". The away end less so.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, given the above preamble regarding player availability, the Enfield defence was doing its very best impression of a group of strangers meeting at a party: "... and how do YOU do?" The Essex side, however, wasn't standing on such ceremony. The tone for an uncomfortable match (for Enfield's fans, at least) was set as early as the third minute. That's when an under-struck back-pass played Town's goalie, Nathan McDonald, into early trouble. Thurrock's Harry Honesty (honestly, you couldn't make it up!) chased the loose pass. He tucked it past the Town 'keeper and looked for all the world to have been taken out by the custodian as he rounded him, intent on finishing off his own good work. Enfield hearts were firmly in mouths, as the visitors' #11 hit the deck, well inside the penalty area. Mysteriously, referee Mr. Ellis Clark waved play on - seeming to doubt the striker's "Honesty" - and Town cleared their lines; but they had dodged an early, silver-plated bullet.

Within four minutes, Town had grabbed the game by the scruff of the neck themselves and taken the lead. Enfield's diminutive #9, Wynter, floated a shot from the left-hand edge of the area high into the right-hand side of the net, around the flailing left palm of Thurrock's 'keeper, Lucas Lidakevicius.

Dernell Wynter (centre) is congratulated on having found black boots to wear - and for using them to score only Enfield's SECOND(!) league goal of the season: 1-0.

I won't bore you with all the rest of the gory match report details. As usual, you can do that for yourself, on the club's own web-page:
http://www.enfieldtownfootballclub.co.uk/teams/65370/match-centre/1-1607195

Suffice to say that Enfield shared an evenly-fought contest, with worthy opponents. Town showed some pace and finesse going forward, for sure; but rarely looked likely to increase their lead, against well-organised visitors. There were frequent Comedies of Errors at the back, though; and Town were lucky to go in at the interval still clutching onto their single-goal lead. This was thanks in part to our regular #2 and most-capped squad member, Jordan Lockie; a right-back who intercepted one threatening forward ball down the left from Thurrock by sending it firmly out of play and, not even troubling the occupants of 'Row Z', high over the main stand, straight into the King George V Playing Fields beyond. As they often say: "If in doubt ...". It gave him time to regain his breath and return to the right side of our shaky defence.

 

The iconic stand that Lockie's clearance cleared. Seen from outside ... and in.

Half-time food queue. Back in the mists of time, my search for the best of non-league ground cuisine is what first brought me to the QEII. Yeah, thanks, Grant!

Long after a tannoy-less half-time break in the game had ended, the inevitable equaliser finally came for East Thurrock in the 66th minute. Equally inevitably, it came from a defensive lapse. Town gave away an unnecessary throw-in, deep in their own half on their left. It was worked nicely across them to their right, where Rocks #3, Tom Wraight, was on hand to drive a shot back across McDonald and low into the left-hand side of his net: 1-1; and it was probably no less than Thurrock had deserved.

Skipper Ryan Doyle sends in a right-footed cross over the wall, from a 2nd-half free-kick on the left. Spot the ball!

In fact, Enfield did have the ball in the Thurrock net one more time, in the 90th minute, after a firm and well-placed header from a corner on the right; but Mr. Clark had seen an infringement and he consequently disallowed Town's third "goal" of the season. So Thurrock maintained their title of Enfield's 'Bogey Team' and, slightly fortuitously, stood firm; taking a share of the (two) points back to the Far East. As a result of that result, Town dropped a place to 21st; but they will be happy to have taken something from the game - anything - and to have doubled their goal tally for the season.

Tyler Campbell pursues and (just!) keeps in a testing late "pass".

Enfield are not in a league of their own quite yet; but if they can't find a few more goals from somewhere quickly, they might soon be!

More Corner Flag "porn" from the QEII Stadium.

Town now face a series of away fixtures - one in the FA Cup 1st Qualifying Round and two in the league - before they return to Donkey Lane to take on the enigma which is Farnborough. Relegated from the Conference South at the end of last season, the Hampshire side currently sit one place below Enfield in the table. They have one point less but have scored 4 goals more, after playing only 2 fixtures so far. They have made a delayed start to their season, after falling foul of the FA's financial regulations and being prevented from fulfilling their early scheduled fixtures. It was touch and go for a while as to whether they would be allowed to play at all this year. Such is the world of non-league football, in the seventh English tier.

ETFC: The Co-Operative Club? At least in defence.

East Thurrock, as it turned out, would not be so accommodating about those three home points, after all.