Thieving Magpies(?) at the QEII stadium

Enfield Town versus Peacehaven & Telscombe
Tuesday 2nd December, 2014 – 7.45pm kick-off

THE RYMAN ISTHMIAN PREMIER LEAGUE

A home crowd of 269 was disappointingly low for Enfield Town, even on a cold, blustery December night, with an Arctic blast blowing in from Hoddesdon, to bring Enfield its coldest night of the season so far. That total was the smallest home crowd of the season to date, for the Ryman Premier League’s form side. It was not helped by the lack of away fans. A 180-mile mid-week round-trip was probably not the most conducive incentive for Peacehaven & Telscombe's stay-at-home fans. Even so, the 4 (yes, just FOUR!) brave souls who inhabited the away end must have wished they’d brought a few more friends with them – if only to help them keep warm in North London’s great outdoors. Perhaps they just wished they HAD a few more friends? They were, almost inevitably, mocked mercilessly by their Enfield counterparts, from the start: “Home in a Smart car – you’re going home in a Smart car”. It may have been the first time this song had ever been sung AND been potentially (‘literally’) true.

Given the “nippy” conditions, it was decidedly not a night for a dull 0-0 draw. Enfield were on a run of five consecutive wins; but I still feared the worst, as the ends of my toes started to go numb. For their part, the visitors had, prior to a defeat in their last, been unbeaten in their previous seven league outings; and had not failed to score since 16th September; so I still feared the worst, as the tips of my fingers began to turn blue. There were only 2 changes to Enfield’s previous starting line-up: Hope was restored up front (physically and metaphorically?) and Nathan Livings had inexplicably switched to wearing the number 18 shirt, from his previous number 8. OK, the second one was a pretty minor change, I'll admit. As so often seems to happen for away teams in mid-week games in this league, Haven had travelled one sub light, reducing their options off the bench - or disrespecting the threat posed by The Town. I had also got to the bottom of the visitors' unusual name. The club was formed in 1923 as a result of a merger between Peacehaven Rangers and Telscombe Tye. After promotion to the Premier League at the end of last season, the South-Coast club are now playing at the highest level in their history. The same is true for Enfield Town; a club 78 years their junior. After a couple of recent defeats in different cup tournaments, it was true that Haven arrived at Donkey Lane on the back of three straight defeats; but I still feared the worst, as the end of my nose began to form an icicle.

Perhaps it was the cold night air taking effect; maybe it was a touch of confusion caused by the near colour-clash between The Whites and The Black-and-Whites; but both teams got off to a frosty start. In a game strewn with individual errors, neither side seemed capable of penalising the other’s mistakes. After just 3 minutes, Enfield’s Taylor Hastings misjudged a defensive header, giving the ball just a glancing contact to open up the way for an effort on goal from the edge of the box; but it never came. Three minutes later, Enfield created a half chance as Whitely, and then Hope, took the ball into the left channel of the opponent’s area; but their ‘keeper, Anthony Di Bernardo, smothered the resultant effort at the foot of his near post. After 10 minutes, Enfield were awarded a free-kick just outside the visitors’ area. A low cross was whipped in; but skipper Kirby was being held, as is usual. Haven’s ‘keeper completely missed the flight of the ball, anyway; but it bounced across the area, evading the attentions of Stanley Muguo, to go wide of the left-hand post and out harmlessly for a goal kick.

Kirby (white #5, centre) is held, again; the 'keeper flaps ineffectively; Stan Muguo (white shirt, right) can't quite react quickly enough to steer the ball goal-wards.

As early as the 23rd minute, Di Bernardo was already time-wasting at every possible opportunity - and at some IMpossible ones. Pausing for drinks before every clearance (it really wasn’t warm enough to have worked up a sweat, so I’m guessing he must have been suffering from a hang-over – some wag in the crowd suggested his affliction was more likely an STD); swapping the ball to opposite sides of the area before each goal-kick; walking as slowly as possible to collect each ball that went out of play. It was clearly going to be a long night for Enfield fans!

Town were in dominant control of possession and territory; but looked bereft of cutting edge in the final third. The Magpies were content merely to contain. There was really only one team in it. So, obviously, it was Haven who had the ball in the opposition net first, after 32 minutes. A corner routine saw the ball bundled across the Enfield goal-line; but, fortunately for Town fans, the referee had already blown his whistle for an infringement. Sighs of relief replaced the low grumble of discontent that had briefly percolated up out of some of the less observant amongst the home crowd.

In the 44th minute, Haven belatedly earned the first yellow card of the game, for a late challenge. The resultant Enfield free-kick was punted long, into the box. Once again, Di Bernardo flapped ineffectively. The ball fell to Kirby on the edge of the area, who executed a deft lob of the rising ball. It looped high over the crowd of players towards the far corner of the goal – only for a recovering defender to head the ball up onto the underside of the bar and, inexplicably, back out again. Phil Kane sped in on the loose ball; but he came at it from the 'wrong' side and was unable to get his head around it to redirect it goal-wards. The ball skidded out wide, past the right-hand post and to safety. It was to be the last meaningful action of the half; and, despite all the Haven goal keeper’s time wasting, there were few complaints when the referee blew a fairly early whistle to indicate the break. The whole crowd of 269 people seemed to head en masse, and rapidly, for the Butler's Bar. It was fair to say that Enfield had struggled to recreate the free-flowing football of Saturday’s 5-0 triumph; for which much credit must go to the organisation of the evening’s visitors. Although they’d also ridden their luck.

The visiting 'keeper flaps ineffectively, again; and a melee ensues, before a goal-line clearance. 

The half-time music, delivered through the PA system, included Hot Chocolate’s 1975 hit "You Sexy Thing". Aficionados will be aware that this song features the heartfelt avowal “I believe in Miracles”. It was not necessarily a sentiment shared by all those home fans inside the QEII stadium during the interval. The half-time warm up by Enfield’s subs, set a poor tone for the second period. It was clear why most of them were on the bench. For most of the duration, and despite many attempts, not a single ball threatened to go anywhere near the goal. One had to hope this would not prove to be an omen or an analogy for the second half of play.

A linesman checks the goal nets before the 2nd half, perhaps looking for some of that missing first-half time, wasted by The Magpies' goalie.

Just as in Saturday’s game, Town emerged for the second half with a clearly-renewed sense of purpose and commitment; perhaps stoked by some choice words from manager Bradley Quinton. If so, his stirring oration proved well judged. Within three minutes of the re-start, Enfield’s Michael Kalu flicked a header onto a cross from the right by Jordan Lockie, deflecting the ball low and accurately inside the left-hand post. It was ‘just what the game had needed’, as the scoreboard ticked over to a deserved 1-0 home lead.

Town's players celebrate their 'go-ahead' goal in front of the Towners fans' end. (Dodgy?) hats and 'hoodies' were clearly the order of the day in the home stand.

The visitors’ Dan McLaughlin was lucky only to receive a yellow card for a challenge on Whitely, after which the referee was roundly booed for not wanting to write up a red card report. Although he was later quite happy to dish out 3 further ‘soft’ yellow cards to Enfield players. A few minutes after the goal, Whitely and Hope played a clever interchange inside the Haven box, coming in from the right; but the ‘keeper got down low well to his near post to force the driven shot out for a corner, which was subsequently wasted. And thus the pattern of the game continued. After 66 minutes, Phil Kane showed good footwork racing down the left wing through several opponents and crossed to allow an acrobatic effort from Nathan Livings; but his spectacular, aerial kick stayed high and flew over.

A corner flag panorama, as Enfield launch yet another attack.

Di Bernardo’s first-half time wasting was now very much a thing of the past as, restored to the football faith, he raced to retrieve every wayward ball, hurried each kick back into play from whichever side he happened to be scurrying and forgot all about his drink bottle entirely. The Magpies’ continued to offer some limited, occasional, attacking menace; but their chances of thieving some shiny glittering points from the match looked slim, as Town’s organised defence remained mostly resolute. Still we worried, in the home end - and feared the worst.

After 74 minutes, substitutions began to be made; but with no overall effect on play. That shouldn't be much of a surprise from the Enfield perspective, given the subs' dire performances in their half-time practice. Perhaps the exception to this rule was when Town’s Nathan Livings gave way for Stephan Hamilton-Forbes (that’s just one player!) after 83 minutes. The latter showed poise and control on the ball and brought renewed vigour to Enfield’s attacking options; but without reward.

Close to a "colour-clash"? White shirts vs. black-and-white shirts. Goal-provider & RB Lockie (#2) awaits a return ball from his own throw-in.

In the latter period of the match, Enfield finally rode a little luck of their own. Firstly, a well-worked free-kick was wastefully headed over. Then the previously mostly-spectating Town 'keeper, McDonald, needed to react fast and get down low to thwart an effort from the diminutive Mark Knee (who had actually, contrary to some expectations, used his foot). With just three minutes of normal time remaining, Saturday’s two-goal man-of-the-match, Jon Constant, finally came on for club record goal scorer, Liam Hope. Constant was to experience more action than he probably had anticipated, as the fourth official indicated a minimum of 5 added minutes – which eventually stretched into seven. Perhaps the ref had had his ear chewed off for not adding more time at the end of the first half, for all Haven’s time-wasting; since the crowd were left scratching their heads as to where he’d found the need for so much extra time in the second half. It mattered little, other than to the lowering average body temperature in the ground.

A sharp and chilly final blast from the ref’s whistle signalled three more points to the table-climbing Towners and an unprecedented sixth successive victory, which elevated them into 7th place in the league. The club’s website would later note smugly, “Town last dropped points (away) at Leiston on 11th October.” That is more than seven weeks ago.

Towners’ thoughts now mostly turned to VCD. Despite an opinion expressed on Tuesday night, that is NOT a(nother) venereal disease; but the shortened name for Vickers, Crayford & Dartford Athletic FC. After a run of 5 straight defeats - with 4 of those coming in the league - and lying second from bottom of the table in 23rd place, “The Vickers” will probably not be looking forward to the visit of the Ryman Premier League’s form side with much relish. They have scored only twice in their last seven games. But I will probably still fear the worst...

Enfield Town: Nathan McDonald, Jordan Lockie, Phil Kane, Taylor Hastings, Mark Kirby, Stanley Muguo, Tyler Campbell , Nathan Livings (Stephan Hamilton-Forbes 83), Corey Whitely (Ryan Doyle 90), Liam Hope (Jon Constant 87), Michael Kalu. Unused subs: Jamie Smyth, Leon Antoine. Booked: Kalu, Lockie, Kane.

Peacehaven & Telscombe: Anthony di Bernardo, Steve Metcalf, Mark Knee, Dan McLaughlin, Ash Jones, Sami El-Abd, Tommy Fraser, Lloyd Cotton, Joe Gatting, James Fraser (Terry Dodds 74), Jamie Brotherton (Tom Burton 85). Unused subs: Jon Marzetti, Freddie Barker. Booked: McLaughlin.