Of Old Friends and Classic Football Walks

Fulham vs. Barnsley - 3pm k-o

Saturday 14th January, 2017

The English Football League Championship

"Neither Nowt Nor Summat" - Ian McMillan (a.k.a. "the Bard of Barnsley")

Graham, an old Fulham friend, topically came up Trump(s) with a late nod for a spare ticket in The Hammersmith End this weekend, for the Barnsley game. The trouble was, TfL didn’t read the same script. I had been hoping for some civilised pre-match chat over lunch and a couple of beers, in Putney's Jolly Gardeners pub. Instead, late-morning, on match-day I got a couple of messages from the relevant “transport” organisations, which scuppered my best-laid plans. Firstly: "TfL Latest - District Line: No service between Wimbledon and Parsons Green due to loss of signal control in the Wimbledon area”: and then “Trains to Putney delayed from Waterloo because of points problems at Clapham Jnctn.”. So, instead, I ended up meeting Graham outside the Hammersmith End turnstiles at 2.45pm after making do with the river walk to the ground from Hammersmith tube station, while munching on a cold sandwich and a pork pie.

Graham and I first met at the 'Stag' weekend of a mutual friend, yet another Fulham fan and season-ticket holder, John P. His wild Saturday night out in Bristol City (no sniggering, back there!) all those years ago, had started with a tour of the Harvey’s Sherry cellars, followed by dinner with suitable “adult (Bristol City) entertainment”, a late night spent posing as sports personality VIP guests of a premier night-club (I kid you not) and then an early start and a day of outdoor pursuits with a hog-roast lunch. All of which kicked off a friendship that has lasted 30 years, so far. Fulham-Barnsley should have been a cake-walk, by comparison with all of that Stag weekend action. Just so long as I could complete my cake-walk along the Thames first, under lowering pewter skies.

 

 

For those not familiar with two of the finest walks to an English football ground, the road less travelled by me this day would be the one from Putney Bridge tube station, through Bishop’s Park. Instead, I would be re-tracing part of John P’s Varsity Boat Race route, in reverse. There goes the Harrods Furniture Depository, followed by a landing jetty with the Craven Cottage floodlights already blazing in the background. There are all the folk “messing about on the river”; and then we’re heading inland for the last few hundred yards. Emma’s hot snacks van gives way to an inevitable, parked-up convoy of outside broadcast trucks. Finally, we are greeted by the famous red-brick façade of the Stevenage Road stand. Now renamed The Johnny Haynes Stand, it is the oldest surviving structure in English professional football. It is marginally older, in fact, than Graham, me and John.

  

I've lifted the following photo from footballsite.co.uk. Apparently, little "Amos" helped 2nd Division Barnsley get to their first FA Cup Final, in 1910. It is believed that Amos was the name of the jockey and not the donkey. No self-respecting modern groundsman would normally let a donkey anywhere near their pitch, nowadays. Although there’s not much he can do if a visiting team turn up with a stable full of them. The Tykes had carelessly sold their top scorer, Sam Winnall, to Sheffield Wednesday during the week; and, with a “For Sale” sign also apparently hanging around the neck of their other hot talent, Conor Hourihane, it was difficult to know quite who would be taking to the hallowed Craven Cottage turf in the visitors funny little red-and-white-hooped socks.

Who would be Barnsley's Amos, today?

To be fair, Fulham have been dealing with the shenanigans of a want-away striker themselves, in recent weeks; as Chris Martin angled for an early end to his season-long loan spell away from fellow play-off contenders, Derby. After three weeks effectively spent ‘on strike’, Martin was back in the squad; and back in the starting line-up. There were a few half-hearted boos, when his name was first announced in the starting line-up, over the PA system; but the home crowd had clearly decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and hope that he could return to the side firing on all those East Anglian / “Scottish” cylinders of his. He went through, clear on goal with just the ‘keeper to beat as early as the 5^th minute; but fluffed his lines in shooting straight at the visitors’ goalie, Adam Davies. As for the rest of the match action, Barnsley had turned up with a spoiling game plan that left Fulham’s faithful frustrated for the whole of the first 45 minutes. Floyd Ayité is away with Togo at the Africa Cup of Nations, giving on-loan Chelsea boy Lucas Piazon the chance to start. He has since extended his loan spell to the end of the season, much to the delight of some (easily-pleased) fans.

Before the game, a minute's applause was scrupulously observed in honour of Graham Taylor (see big screen, top). While, nearby, men in boats disrespectfully kept on fannying about on the river. Eventually, however, everybody remembered Bill Shankly's sly admonition that Football is "much more serious than" life and death - allowing the match to finally get under way.

It was difficult to believe that the visitors had started the day two places above their hosts in the table. Despite dominating possession and territory, however, Fulham were unable to turn any of their superiority into goals … until right up to just before the half-time break. With many restless fans already out of their seats in search of half-time refreshments, Barnsley’s Angus MacDonald had a brief rush of blood to the head and pulled down his namesake Kevin McDonald near the penalty spot, during the flight of a looping Piazon corner from the right. On another day the Barnsley MacDonald might have got away with it; but referee Andy Davies seemed to be of a fairly nervous disposition; and he pointed immediately to the spot. There was only mild celebration amongst the long-suffering Fulham faithful.

McDonald goes to ground, under pressure from MacDonald. The referee was perfectly placed to offer Fulham the lottery of yet another penalty.

Now you may not be aware of this; but there is a back-story around Fulham's penalty 'success' rate this season which, perhaps understandably, made the home fans’ response to that penalty decision somewhat muted. Prior to this one, we had been awarded five already and, of these, scored … just one. So who would step up bravely to deal with this sixth opportunity? None other than the returning Prodigal Son, Chris Martin. Would he make it 2 out of 6, to a resounding hero’s chorus of cheers; or would he drill it into Row Z, to the ignominy of a zero’s jeers? Luckily, Fulham went into the break 1-0 up. Martin struck a firm effort to the right, whilst sending the ‘keeper the wrong way. He had scored his seventh goal in 17 games for Fulham in his last appearance for us, back on Boxing Day; and any previous January shenanigans were immediately forgiven and forgotten. Hark, was that the sound of a fatted calf being prepared for slaughter and roasting? To the tune of Verdi’s “La Donna Immobile”, the relieved and highly-cultured Fulham fans sang a chorus of “We’ve Scored a Pen-al-ty; We’ve Scored a Pen-al-ty …”, as Mr. Davies nervously signalled that he’d seen enough, for now.

The multi-talented Chris Martin stands on one leg, while converting Fulham's penalty.

It was a crisp, winter’s day and the light was fading by the time the teams returned to the pitch to resume hostilities. It soon turned out that the visitors were fading, too. A lower-than-average gate of just 18,010 had shown up. Demonstrating that Barnsley were not that much of a draw, on a January afternoon. Fulham resumed the second half where they had left off: dominating possession and territory but occasionally looking a little shaky at the back. Most of their nervous jitters were calmed, however, ten minutes in; when Scott Malone arrived deep on the left of the Barnsley area, giving Piazon a shout to leave Chris Martin’s intelligent cross. The result was a sublime left-footed volley, driven into the ground, which went across Davies and into the far corner of the net. From thereon in, Fulham looked mostly in control. Martin went close a couple more times; as did Johansen, Piazon and Cairney. Davies was now earning his keep, in goal; whilst Barnsley continued to threaten just occasionally, on the break. A triple substation on 70 minutes made little difference to the visitors or the balance of play.

Spot the Ball. Malone hits his left-foot volley sweetly past Davies: 2-0.(Photo: FFC website)

Eventually, Fulham made three substitutions of their own, late on: after 88, 89 and 92 minutes. It was difficult to see them as anything other than gamesmanship and clock management by wily (and nervous?) old Slaviša Jokanović; but it was nice to see Parker, Odoi and much-heralded "teenage sensation" Ryan Sessegnon all get a brief run-around in a game that was already won.

Second-half floodlight "porn", for the needy.

Good though he is, Hourihane had struggled to impose himself on the game, despite playing the whole match. Some thought he might not be selected - or would be withdrawn early - to reduce the risk of an injury prior to his expected sale. He had a couple of attempts at goal and was involved in several of Barnsley’s better moves, including an assist from a free-kick that saw Tom Bradshaw head wide to the right, from the centre of the box; but it soon became apparent that it’s tough to boss a game with a price-tag hanging around your neck and your most effective goal-scoring partner already sold.

Barnsley: a town proudly built on the profits from coal-mining, glass-blowing, Michael Parkinson ... and player sales. 

Some Fulham fans continue to feel rightly nervous about the resilience of their defence, even in the presence of returning centre-back, Kalas. The outcome could easily have been very different, for instance, if Hammill “after a fine solo run” had converted a first-half chance which, instead, bounced safely over, off the Fulham cross-bar. It was Barnsley’s best chance of the game; and would have been 'against the run of play', had it gone in. Now, if only Barnsley had a proven goal-scorer in their midst - whoops!

Poet and presenter, Ian McMillan: no verse yet issued on the Barnsley management's strategy, of selling the club's best players. "A Thing of Beauty is a Joy Forever", perhaps?*

The overall match statistics speak for themselves: Fulham had 68% of possession and eight shots on target, to Barnsley’s two. The visitors did win the foul count though, by a clear margin of 12 to 4; and the bookings count by two to nil. These matters were probably of little comfort to the departing travelling fans. Even for the ones who had been seen leaving rather early. Ian McMillan's book title (at top of page) could be mistaken for a fair description of his side's contribution to the proceedings. To be fair to the visitors, though, they were probably more tired and distracted than usual, as a result of having taken part in the BBC's latest dancing extravaganza, earlier in the week (http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b088pjyf/our-dancing-town-1-barnsley - see below).

Barnsley: it's an official BBC "Dancing Town", y'know.

There was little more left to do other than to thank Graham once again for the generous offer of his spare ticket and to set off, dancing, back up the Thames Path towards Hammersmith, with a warm, two-goal glow in my heart and eighth place in the table stashed in my pocket. It was still exactly a month before Valentine’s Day; but this really had been something of a massacre. The 2-0 scoreline had flattered a poor Barnsley performance; but now we were, at least, rightfully above them in the table. Fulham fans had rejoiced in repeated choruses of “Olé!, Olé!, Olé!”, in response to each individual, slide-rule pass, as their men in white had dominated the game. There are 21 league fixtures left in which Fulham might yet turn their entertaining, passing game into something approaching a genuine promotion challenge. Oh, and the little matter of a chance to do some "Giant" killing in the F.A. Cup, against Hull City. Two big days out at Wembley, anybody?

Come on, you Whites!

Fulham

• 27 Button

• 2 Fredericks

• 26 Kalas

• 13 Ream

• 3 Malone

• 14 Johansen - Substituted for Parker at 88' minutes

• 6 McDonald

• 24 Aluko - Substituted for Odoiat at 90+2' minutes

• 10 Cairney

• 20 Piazon - Substituted for Sessegnon at 89' minutes

• 25 Martin

Substitutes

• 1 Bettinelli

• 4 Odoi

• 8 Parker

• 9 Smith

• 15 Madl

• 17 Sigurdsson

• 30 Sessegnon

Barnsley

• 1 Davies

• 2 Bree

• 4 Roberts

• 5 MacDonald

• 3 White- Booked at 53 mins

• 15 Watkins - Booked at 73 mins

• 6 Scowen

• 8 Hourihane

• 7 Hammill - Substituted for Kent at 70' minutes

• 28 R Williams - Substituted for Moncur at 70' minutes

• 20 Bradshaw Substituted for Armstrong at 70' minutes

Substitutes

• 10 Moncur

• 13 Townsend

• 16 Evans

• 18 Jackson

• 23 Payne

• 32 Armstrong

• 40 Kent

Culture Vulture reference:

* from "Endymion", by Enfield's very own 'Bright Star' - John Keats (1795 -1821)