Székely Land vs. Padania - Saturday 9th June, 2018
The CONIFA World Football Cup 3rd/4th Place Play-Off: 3 pm k-o
Karpatalya vs. Northern Cyprus - Saturday 9th June, 2018
The CONIFA World Football Cup Grand Final: 6.30 pm k-o (delayed)
Welcome to Hell? Hardly; but Welcome to Enfield!
Most readers will already be aware [new readers are always welcome!] that it’s been one heck of a lengthy season of domestic football, for the Pharaoh, this year: starting on Tuesday 1st August, at Heybridge Swifts; and ending on Saturday 26th May, at Wembley Stadium (see my range of previous posts, below). From the sublime to the ridiculous, you could say; or possibly the other way around. Fewer of you, perhaps, will realise that I've also continued my commitments into a hectic summer of ongoing international soccer, too.
Football World Cups? They're two-a-penny, around here. With FIFA's (allegedly) corrupt media-fest waiting in the wings and already flexing its mighty PR muscles - and with the sound of the England team aircraft’s jet engines idling on the tarmac in Russia, ready for their expected, routine, early exit - many punters could be forgiven for remaining blissfully unaware that the World Football Cup has, in fact, already been competed for; and won by a little-known, ethnic population enclave, which isn’t even a “proper” country. All of which may take some explaining. So here goes ...
Ever heard of Karpatalya? No, I hadn’t either, until just a couple of weeks ago, when the CONIFA football circus 'came to town'. To Enfield Town, in fact, to be more precise. I hope you're ready for a lesson in international geo-politics? No, I wasn’t either; but this is a story that's well worth exploring. Karpatalya, it turns out, is not a new carpet super-store, on the nearby North Circular Road. The Karpatalya football team, rather, represents a Hungarian-speaking ethnic minority who live in Carpathian Ruthenia (aka Kárpátalja – or Transcarpathia) – in what is today south-west Ukraine. You've got the basis of at least a whole week of secondary school Geography lessons, right there.
Ever heard of CONIFA? No, I hadn’t either; but their World Football Cup is a bi-annual tournament for non-FIFA affiliated international teams (“The Confederation of Independent Football Associations”). The organisation proudly claims to be “the leading body for national representative teams outside FIFA” for football, futsal, and beach soccer; and it brings together such unlikely waifs, strays, outcasts and FIFA pariahs as Tibet, Cascadia, The Isle of Man, Matabeleland, Padania and the Chagos Islands, to name but a few. These teams may appear to have little in common; but they do share a deep love of The Beautiful Game and the absence of internationally-recognised nation status - plus quite a few of them do also sound like near-neighbours of Narnia.
Here, then, was a superb chance to travel to the far-flung corners of the footballing world without even having to leave the London Borough of Enfield - the capital of global sport! Anyone turning up on
the off-chance of seeing Brazil play Germany in the competition’s grand final, though, would
have been disappointed – plus a few thousand miles and few weeks off-target. Anybody turning up to witness a high level of individual skill played in a
friendly venue / cauldron of cosmopolitan culture (and colourful atmosphere)
would, however, have been in for a treat. As many, indeed, were!
Tibet fans at their fixture against Northern Cyprus, early in the tournament (source: Joel Rookwood)
I will not attempt to cover the whole tournament in detail, here. Suffice to say that there is already ample coverage on websites as diverse as Sky Sports, CONIFA’s own platform and The South China Morning Post. I encourage you to go and check these out. Instead, I hope to try and give you a taste of the final day’s action; in the hope that it might encourage you to seek out further (and more professional) information and insight. Don't be fooled. This is no 'Mickey Mouse' event. There's been plenty of coverage of all sorts, from the British press, on-line outlets and TV to a strong presence in the international sports media. The event even had its very own wall chart. 'Nuff said!
Tibet fans at their fixture against Northern Cyprus, early in the tournament (source: Joel Rookwood)
I will not attempt to cover the whole tournament in detail, here. Suffice to say that there is already ample coverage on websites as diverse as Sky Sports, CONIFA’s own platform and The South China Morning Post. I encourage you to go and check these out. Instead, I hope to try and give you a taste of the final day’s action; in the hope that it might encourage you to seek out further (and more professional) information and insight. Don't be fooled. This is no 'Mickey Mouse' event. There's been plenty of coverage of all sorts, from the British press, on-line outlets and TV to a strong presence in the international sports media. The event even had its very own wall chart. 'Nuff said!
If a 3rd/4th place
play-off for a global football tournament happened on your very doorstep,
you’d be a poor sort of sports fan if you didn’t pay your money and go along in
support of the initiative. Some might say you’d be absolutely crazy to miss it,
if you could also take in the Grand Final on the same afternoon. Well that’s
exactly what happened for me, when CONIFA chose a number of non-league football venues
across London to host their 2018 World Cup. With Enfield Town F.C.’s Queen Elizabeth
II stadium, in Donkey Lane, selected as the primary venue, football fans descended on my corner of North London from all over the world (and, for example, Bristol,
Bracknell, Port Vale, Stourbridge, Stroud and elsewhere). Making Enfield, ever so briefly at least, the nerve centre of international football.
The QEII used to
be a run-down and dis-used athletics track. Now it was fully restored and rejuvenated by a carnival of international football
colour; a new home to that much-referenced beast, “atmosphere”. But why choose North London,
after the previous staging of the competition had taken place in the far more exotic-sounding Abkhazia, in 2016.
["Abkhazia", incidentally, is a barely-recognised break-away territory within
north-western Georgia, on the eastern coast of the Black Sea; recognised only
by Russia, in fact, and a small number of other crack-pot states within the UN (Syria,
Nicaragua, Venezuela & Nauru). And no, I’d never heard of that last “nation”,
either. It turns out Nauru is a tiny island state in the Pacific Ocean, covering
just 8 square miles. With only 11,347 residents (in July 2016) it’s the world's second-smallest
sovereign state, after the Vatican City. Its economy is dependent almost entirely
on phosphate deposits originating from the droppings of sea birds. And there could be an implicit value-judgement lurking somewhere in that last sentence; but that’s
probably all you’ll ever need to know about the place. Enough of the geography
lessons, now ... well, perhaps there's time for just one more quick one!?]
The host team were Barawa: named after a port town in south-western Somalia, with their players drawn from the Somali diaspora in the UK. So North London, with its cosmopolitan ethnic diversity, was considered as good a host venue as any. Despite winning their group, in the first stage of the finals, the ‘hosts’ finished 8th overall and could do no more than watch on from the sidelines, on the last day of the tournament's festivities.
By coincidence(?)
each of the day’s big games featured a Hungarian-speaking enclave. Perhaps this
fact pays tribute to the Hungarian people’s deep love of football; and the
impact of inspirational figures such as England’s 1953 nemesis, Ferenc Puskás -
“The Galloping Major” of that Mighty Magyars side. The 3rd/4th place match
pitched Székely Land, a largely Hungarian area within Transylvanian Romania, against Padania, centred around the Po Valley region - a
proposed independent state in Northern Italy.
Székely Land (in blue) take a corner, as the QEII's stylish Art Deco clubhouse seems to set sail in the background; forming a tasteful, ageless backdrop (see it also featured here: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/putting-enfield-global-sporting-map-part-2-series-des-harney/)
Full details of the
games do not need to be dwelt upon, here. In the first match-up, Padania started well against Székely
Land; but the latter improved as the first half wore on – having the best
initial clear-cut chances on goal, before Padania finally began to carve out a few of their own.
The pattern of the game changed little. There was great individual flair and
touch on display; but less organisation, tactics and strategy than one might
expect at a major tournament. Perhaps the players had had insufficient time
together to really show themselves off at their most organised best? The second half carried
on where the first had finished. Some good passing, power and athleticism; but
no end product. Early on in proceedings I had predicted the eventual
score-line: 0 – 0; but this had been an entertaining goal-less draw.
Székely Land's #3, Csaba Csizmadia, executes a quality spot-kick, typifying the level of individual skill on show. His powerful drive accurately picks out the top-right stanchion, even before the GK (guessing wrong and going low) has reached the ground.
Given the jam-packed nature of the day’s itinerary, there was to be no room for extra-time. Instead, the game
moved straight to penalties. In which the Székely side gave up an early one-goal
advantage to lose with the last kick of the match, after the first pair of ‘sudden death’ kicks. All of the penalties, in fact, were excellent - except for the three that were not.
The decisive moment: Székely Land's #22, Balazs Csiszer, looks on in horror as his kick flies straight at Padania's diving 'keeper, Marco Murriero (check out his yellow-gloved left hand and arm)
Perhaps the result should come as no surprise, given the depth of experience in the Padania squad: Marius Stankevičius, for instance, is Padanian only by dint of having played out his professional career in a number of Seria A clubs in Northern Italy. Whilst also winning 65 caps for Lithuania and scoring 5 goals (against Bosnia & Herzegovina, Romania, Serbia, Austria & Spain). His impressive CV includes spells at some very decent club sides, including: Brescia Calcio, Sampdoria, Sevilla, Valencia, Lazio & Hannover 96. He primarily played this game in a ‘librero’ style role; which suited his level of awareness, touch and finesse. A low-rent Bobby Moore, his was a stand-out résumé at this championship; but his side could only finish in third place - and there were many other very decent players on show, too.
Székely Land's #3, Csaba Csizmadia, executes a quality spot-kick, typifying the level of individual skill on show. His powerful drive accurately picks out the top-right stanchion, even before the GK (guessing wrong and going low) has reached the ground.
The decisive moment: Székely Land's #22, Balazs Csiszer, looks on in horror as his kick flies straight at Padania's diving 'keeper, Marco Murriero (check out his yellow-gloved left hand and arm)
Perhaps the result should come as no surprise, given the depth of experience in the Padania squad: Marius Stankevičius, for instance, is Padanian only by dint of having played out his professional career in a number of Seria A clubs in Northern Italy. Whilst also winning 65 caps for Lithuania and scoring 5 goals (against Bosnia & Herzegovina, Romania, Serbia, Austria & Spain). His impressive CV includes spells at some very decent club sides, including: Brescia Calcio, Sampdoria, Sevilla, Valencia, Lazio & Hannover 96. He primarily played this game in a ‘librero’ style role; which suited his level of awareness, touch and finesse. A low-rent Bobby Moore, his was a stand-out résumé at this championship; but his side could only finish in third place - and there were many other very decent players on show, too.
Traditional folk dancing: an integral element of ethnic identity?
The Grand Final was played about 90 minutes after the earlier, appetiser game had
finished. After some colourful and entertaining folk dance routines, on the athletics track. Kick-off was delayed by 30 minutes, as by far the QEII stadium's
biggest ever attendance battled to get through just TWO old-school turnstiles.
None of your soulless, fancy, bar-code reading automation here, thank you very
much! Typically representative of the
politics behind the very existence of many of the teams in this tournament, the
Final was played between Northern Cyprus (a state recognised only by its own
‘mother’ country, Turkey) and Karpatalya (as previously explained, a sub-region
of a country which has itself recently been partially annexed by Putin the Terrible’s
fascistic, jack-booted troops). When the draw for the finals had originally
taken place, one group in particular had been described, almost inevitably, as “The Group of
Death”; at least by those teams who’d been captured in its inexorable vortex.
It did turn out to have been a particularly tough group, though, in this instance; since both the
finalists had emerged from within it. Something that knowledgeable pundits had predicted, early on. So the ultimate match of the tournament took
place against the back-drop of an earlier 1-1 group stage draw between the
same two sides; and against a backdrop of colourful flares.
Anthems were impeccably observed; except by some boorish N. Cyprus supporters. The game was played
largely in an excellent spirit; and barely needed the interventions of (2016
UEFA Champions League Final and UEFA Euro 2016 Final referee) Mark Clattenburg; imported from Saudi Arabia especially for the day – and also for the England vs. the Rest of the World celebrity-fest at Old Trafford, the following day. One of his assistants was named Andrew Parody. Luckily, he wasn't given any opportunity to offer hack headline writers the chance to flex their irony muscles.
Players from Northern Cyprus and Karpatalya line up for the pre-match ceremonies ... are they really strictly necessary? (source: CONIFA)
Bizarrely, game-play in this second match followed a very similar pattern to the earlier one. Good individual technique and build-up play was mostly coupled with poor finishing and tentative work in the final third. I soon predicted another 0 – 0 draw; and was proven right again. Even if the “Hungarians” did have to survive a massive aerial bombardment (not for the first time in their history!) inexpertly executed, during the latter stages of the second half, to make me right.
During this second penalty shoot-out of the day there were highs and lows again for both sides. Karpatalya’s Goalkeeper, Bela “three-names” Fejer Csongor was named the sponsor’s Player of the Tournament; and with good reason. He saved spot-kicks from striker (#99) Billy Osman Mehmet, then from defender (#7) Yasin Kurt; and, finally from N. Cyprus’s top-scorer, striker (#10) Halil Turan. The Mediterranean islanders had come back from 0-2 down, after the first two kicks apiece, to draw level; only to then hand the game, the glory and the golden trophy back to the Magyars again, with the last (missed) kick of the game (and of the whole tournament); and by a score of two penalties to three.
Karpatalya’s GK, Bela Fejer Csongor gets down on it in the shoot-out - again! Penalty hero AND sponsor’s Player of the Tournament.
Players from Northern Cyprus and Karpatalya line up for the pre-match ceremonies ... are they really strictly necessary? (source: CONIFA)
Bizarrely, game-play in this second match followed a very similar pattern to the earlier one. Good individual technique and build-up play was mostly coupled with poor finishing and tentative work in the final third. I soon predicted another 0 – 0 draw; and was proven right again. Even if the “Hungarians” did have to survive a massive aerial bombardment (not for the first time in their history!) inexpertly executed, during the latter stages of the second half, to make me right.
During this second penalty shoot-out of the day there were highs and lows again for both sides. Karpatalya’s Goalkeeper, Bela “three-names” Fejer Csongor was named the sponsor’s Player of the Tournament; and with good reason. He saved spot-kicks from striker (#99) Billy Osman Mehmet, then from defender (#7) Yasin Kurt; and, finally from N. Cyprus’s top-scorer, striker (#10) Halil Turan. The Mediterranean islanders had come back from 0-2 down, after the first two kicks apiece, to draw level; only to then hand the game, the glory and the golden trophy back to the Magyars again, with the last (missed) kick of the game (and of the whole tournament); and by a score of two penalties to three.
The winners were only
even in the tournament at all in the first place due to the withdrawal of qualifiers Felvidék (or
“Upper Hungary” – yes, yet another Hungarian-speaking enclave; this one located mostly
within present-day Slovakia) due to “internal organisational issues”. Had somebody
spent the team’s bus money on Unicum, Tokaj and beer? Like Denmark, at Euro ‘92
(promoted at the expense of then strife-torn Yugoslavia) Karpatalya had been named
first reserves – and had taken their unlikely global title with relish and aplomb. A
tournament win even more extraordinary and unlikely in the context of the
CONIFA rankings which, as of January 1, 2018, did not even feature them in the
top 13 (why a “Top 13”? – don’t ask; I've got no idea!). FIFA World Cup pundits take note!
The Aftermath
Organising a sports
tournament for the disaffected and the only partially recognised, comes with all
sorts of man-traps and pratfalls. Prior to the event, CONIFA had had to deal with complaints from
North London’s large and vocal Greek-Cypriot community, regarding the inclusion
of Northern Cyprus. They had also dealt with pressure of various kinds exerted by the
Chinese government, over the inclusion of Tibet (pressure which resulted in the
withdrawal of some key sponsors, affecting their fund-raising from the event) –
and much more besides. Tellingly, however, the organisers had stuck to their guns; and to the simple mantra that if you were a member team of the confederation and eligible to play, then you played ... and your fans let off exciting flares in your traditional colours!
(source: ETFC)
CONIFA claims to represent 166 million people, from 47 member bodies, an exotic mélange of “nations, de-facto nations, regions, minority peoples and sports-isolated territories”; a not-for-profit organisation that aims to “build bridges between people, nations, minorities and isolated regions all over the world through friendship, culture and the joy of playing football”. Theirs is a largely unenviable role: representing territories that others feel do not, or should not, exist. It is an inevitably 'political' task, regardless of their stated position on the matter; and they try to do a difficult job well.
CONIFA seemed to cover themselves in somewhat LESS glory, however, over the issue of a dispute concerning the eligibility of one Barawa player, Mohamed Bettamer. The 25 year-old London-born striker had previously represented Libya at U-21 level; and the acceptance of his late registration for Barawa for the tournament by CONIFA had not been made public. The Isle of Man side, Ellan Vannin, lodged an objection (perhaps unsurprisingly) after the apparently "ineligible" player scored one and set up the second in a Barawa's victory over them that saw them eliminated from the tournament. It also turns out that Bettamer had scored a healthy number of important goals for Staines Town in the Bostik Premier League this season (27 in total) including home and away strikes against Enfield Town. Small world, innit?! In a perhaps justifiable fit of pique, Ellan Vannin refused to participate in the play-off games for the lower-ranked sides; instead going home in a huff.
Winners' Joy, Unrestrained ... Briefly! (source: ETFC)
So, once upon a time, had we reached a happy, fairy-tale ending? One with everybody in the football-loving nation of Ukraine proud and pleased to plan a welcome home for their all-conquering representatives, after their glorious exertions in London? Errrm ... not exactly, no. In fact, the Sports Minister of Ukraine, Ihor Oleksandrovych Zhdanov, posted on his official Facebook page: ‘I call on the Security Service of Ukraine to respond appropriately to such a frank act of sporting separatism. It is necessary to interrogate the players of the team, as well as ... the deputy organizer of the “Carpathian” for the purpose of encroachment on the territorial integrity of Ukraine and ties with terrorist and separatist groups.’ Meanwhile, demonstrating once and for all that sport in Ukraine is entirely a-political, the Football Federation of Ukraine has "urge[d] the law enforcement agencies of Ukraine to pay attention to ... check their actions on the subject of propaganda of separatism and encroachment on the territorial integrity and inviolability of Ukraine." Well I guess that could have all ended better; and these reactions are despite CONIFA's insistence that "the [Karpatalya] team has a long-standing, demonstrable history of publicly embracing the region’s dual heritage; the team’s flag and logo contain both flags, while the team wears Ukrainian and Hungarian colours on the pitch".
Ihor Zhdanov: a surprise omission from the Karpatalya squad
(source: Wiki)
CONIFA appears to be confronted with just these kinds of political divisiveness at every turn. The organisation "believe[s] that everyone should be able to represent their identity via football"; and that is worthy stance. Coupled with a commitment to "monitor developments closely"; whilst also "urging Minister Zhdanov and the FFU to reconsider their position."
(source: ETFC)
CONIFA claims to represent 166 million people, from 47 member bodies, an exotic mélange of “nations, de-facto nations, regions, minority peoples and sports-isolated territories”; a not-for-profit organisation that aims to “build bridges between people, nations, minorities and isolated regions all over the world through friendship, culture and the joy of playing football”. Theirs is a largely unenviable role: representing territories that others feel do not, or should not, exist. It is an inevitably 'political' task, regardless of their stated position on the matter; and they try to do a difficult job well.
CONIFA seemed to cover themselves in somewhat LESS glory, however, over the issue of a dispute concerning the eligibility of one Barawa player, Mohamed Bettamer. The 25 year-old London-born striker had previously represented Libya at U-21 level; and the acceptance of his late registration for Barawa for the tournament by CONIFA had not been made public. The Isle of Man side, Ellan Vannin, lodged an objection (perhaps unsurprisingly) after the apparently "ineligible" player scored one and set up the second in a Barawa's victory over them that saw them eliminated from the tournament. It also turns out that Bettamer had scored a healthy number of important goals for Staines Town in the Bostik Premier League this season (27 in total) including home and away strikes against Enfield Town. Small world, innit?! In a perhaps justifiable fit of pique, Ellan Vannin refused to participate in the play-off games for the lower-ranked sides; instead going home in a huff.
Winners' Joy, Unrestrained ... Briefly! (source: ETFC)
So, once upon a time, had we reached a happy, fairy-tale ending? One with everybody in the football-loving nation of Ukraine proud and pleased to plan a welcome home for their all-conquering representatives, after their glorious exertions in London? Errrm ... not exactly, no. In fact, the Sports Minister of Ukraine, Ihor Oleksandrovych Zhdanov, posted on his official Facebook page: ‘I call on the Security Service of Ukraine to respond appropriately to such a frank act of sporting separatism. It is necessary to interrogate the players of the team, as well as ... the deputy organizer of the “Carpathian” for the purpose of encroachment on the territorial integrity of Ukraine and ties with terrorist and separatist groups.’ Meanwhile, demonstrating once and for all that sport in Ukraine is entirely a-political, the Football Federation of Ukraine has "urge[d] the law enforcement agencies of Ukraine to pay attention to ... check their actions on the subject of propaganda of separatism and encroachment on the territorial integrity and inviolability of Ukraine." Well I guess that could have all ended better; and these reactions are despite CONIFA's insistence that "the [Karpatalya] team has a long-standing, demonstrable history of publicly embracing the region’s dual heritage; the team’s flag and logo contain both flags, while the team wears Ukrainian and Hungarian colours on the pitch".
(source: Wiki)
CONIFA appears to be confronted with just these kinds of political divisiveness at every turn. The organisation "believe[s] that everyone should be able to represent their identity via football"; and that is worthy stance. Coupled with a commitment to "monitor developments closely"; whilst also "urging Minister Zhdanov and the FFU to reconsider their position."
The Local Aftermath
After the last throes
of the match-day celebrations had finally echoed away, matters in North London looked somewhat less turbulent and controversial. Enfield Town F.C.'s finances looked decidedly rosier than they recently had done. One
official acknowledged that the club could look forward to starting its next
Bostik Premier League campaign “in the black” – for the first time ever! @ETFC
had tweeted: "What a glorious celebration of football it’s been. Thank you
to everyone who has attended! ... Crowd is approx 2,500." So large a crowd was it, that
they couldn't actually count them accurately. So many spectators, in fact, that
they were taking up every possible vantage point - and even sitting on the roof
of the changing room block.
The previous
Saturday, earlier in the tournament, The Butler’s Bar had run out of beer; and been forced to order in
FIVE additional emergency barrels. Since when, lesson learned, an additional outdoor bar area
had been set up, serving ice-cold cans of beer for thirsty punters wanting to avoid a
queue that ran from the counter, through the main bar, down the stairs and out
into the concourse.
The playing surface
held up well, despite necessary heavy usage over the eight days; thanks to the sterling efforts of ground
staff Dave and Glenn and others. Many of the tournament’s fixtures had been
played on 3G surfaces; but Donkey Lane is your traditional mud and grass
variety. One player had paid the club the compliment of describing Enfield's pitch as
“the best garden they had played on all week”. I think something may have been
‘lost in translation’; but you get the gist, I’m sure.
And ETFC had also earned a
significant amount of positive media coverage and praise, too; including a
double-page, colour centre spread in The Guardian’s Saturday Sport supplement:
https://www.theguardian.com/football/2018/jun/01/world-football-cup-alternative-fifa-lesson-geopolitics
So now our focus can safely switch to rather larger nations, competing for somewhat greater glories, in Mother Russia; at "Putin's £8bn vanity project" (according to the BBC). Before I had even finished the first draft of this blog page, two major FIFA World Cup announcements had already rocked the Twitter-sphere.
Firstly, the USA, Canada and Mexico had their bid to host the 2026 FIFA World Cup endorsed. The decision was such a complete surprise that everybody simply yawned and moved on. In previous years, the tournament would simply have been awarded to the nation who had stuffed the largest number of used dollar bills into brown paper envelopes, in certain hotel suites. Now those kill-joy FBI varmints have imposed a different kind of logic on such things. The hosting decision, of course, makes total commercial sense - the only sense FIFA now understands.
https://www.theguardian.com/football/2018/jun/01/world-football-cup-alternative-fifa-lesson-geopolitics
So now our focus can safely switch to rather larger nations, competing for somewhat greater glories, in Mother Russia; at "Putin's £8bn vanity project" (according to the BBC). Before I had even finished the first draft of this blog page, two major FIFA World Cup announcements had already rocked the Twitter-sphere.
Firstly, the USA, Canada and Mexico had their bid to host the 2026 FIFA World Cup endorsed. The decision was such a complete surprise that everybody simply yawned and moved on. In previous years, the tournament would simply have been awarded to the nation who had stuffed the largest number of used dollar bills into brown paper envelopes, in certain hotel suites. Now those kill-joy FBI varmints have imposed a different kind of logic on such things. The hosting decision, of course, makes total commercial sense - the only sense FIFA now understands.
As the BBC's correspondent Richard Conway pithily observed: "Money talks"! And although Neil Diamond added
"... But it don't sing and dance; And it don't walk",
HE clearly knows very little about 21st century 'sport'.
This news was followed by a somewhat more surprising story from Spain; which took me completely from behind, studs up and late. The Spanish FA should see a straight Red Card for the challenge, surely. Just hours earlier, prescient as ever, the London Evening Standard had offered us the priceless insight that "Spain's World Cup bid won't be derailed by bitter club rivalries", in a major, well-informed, background 'colour' piece. Right on cue, then, the Spanish FA made their bombshell managerial sacking announcement, driven to action by the skulduggery of "bitter Spanish club rivalries". The Standard went on: "Spain coach Lopetegui has no such problems ...". No, indeed; that part of the story, at least, IS correct. His problems are somewhat different. Like no longer being the national team coach. Sports "journalism"? You simply couldn't make it up! Like Neil Diamond, above, correspondent Giuseppe Muro clearly knows very little about 21st century sport.
The Tibet CONIFA team discuss the comparative virtues of a back three with the Dalai Lama (source: COPAfootball)
All of this - and the World Cup tournament still hasn't even started yet! Except that well-informed sports fans and world religious leaders know, of course, that it HAS already started - and finished - in little old Enfield Town. Explanation over!
All the best from The Football Pharaoh
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