The Agony and The Ecstasy

Fulham vs. Derby County - Monday 14th May, 2018 

The EFL Championship Play-Off Semi-Final, 2nd leg - 7.45pm k-o

As a conscientious sports reporter, I leave no potentially relevant stone unturned, on your behalf. My researches recently even uncovered a couple of column inches on events in the “Women + Non Binary Football” season, at Homerton College. All I know of non-binary football, to-date, is that it doesn't always seem to add up; given the number of postponed fixtures and games reportedly played with less than 10 players a-side. This blog report, however, by contrast, will take us from the ridiculous to the sublime. As Bajan Cal and I wended our weary way to Craven Cottage (where Fulham had remained unbeaten since October) on a balmy May Monday evening, to see our boys strive to overcome a 0-1 deficit from the first leg of their play-off semi-final against Derby County. That first leg had seen Derby score with their only on-target effort of the match; and dominant Fulham fail to turn their vastly superior possession into goals ‘for’. It had been a particularly “Fulham-ish” performance.
Hammersmith Sunset's Fine? (source: BBC Sport)

Fulham fans with long memories (and, perhaps, bitter ones) sometimes refer affectionately to the evening’s opposition as “Derby F**king County”. Which might put a whole new spin on the club initials: DCFC. This is, at least in part, due to a previous fixture between the two sides, that started back on 14^th May, 1983 …. and which is, to the best of my knowledge, still going on, even as I type. As the official Fulham FC website recalls about the match-curtailing pitch invasion THAT day: “In circumstances that are mind boggling for viewers of football today, Fulham’s players not only had to avoid tackles from Derby players, but from their fans too… On 88 minutes and 42 seconds, referee Ray Chadwick blew his whistle … for offside, but with the Baseball Ground turf littered with supporters, it would be impossible to play out the remainder of the game and so Chadwick deemed that the match should be abandoned … the (FA’s) argument came back that it would be impossible to replicate the circumstances of that day, not least because Derby now knew they were safe from relegation.” So, it was in the shadow of ‘the match which has never yet ended’, and the usual stench of FA prevarication, hypocrisy and fudging that, 35 years and three hours later, the evening’s grudge return match would get under way beneath Fulham’s floodlights, whilst that 1983 fixture was still going on in the background, at least theoretically.

Can we finish our game now, please?
Baseball Ground chaos: May 14th, 1983

That blue-remembered Saturday afternoon had represented an opportunity for Fulham to be promoted into the top flight; and tonight's game was similar, in that respect at least. One team would continue their march into the play-off final, on Saturday week; while the other would not. So, perhaps unsurprisingly, the atmosphere was powerfully electric from the very start; which made quite a pleasant change from the normal library-like atmosphere of Craven Cottage. It’s a ground often cited as being one of the friendliest and amongst away fans’ favourites; which is indicative of them regularly being made too welcome. Luckily, such wasn’t the case for this crucial match. To add to the carnival-esque feel of the occasion, this time Derby had turned up intending to play the fixture in an unusually open, sportsmanlike and gentlemanly fashion, throughout. Only kidding – of course they hadn’t! Nursing a narrow first leg advantage, from the very first, the visitors defended in depth; and players throughout the Derby line-up took every opportunity to waste time and run the clock down. Their ‘keeper Scott Carson was particularly guilty of this tactic. As early as the first few minutes, the referee was already regularly gesticulating at guilty time-wasters, pointing to his watch to indicate that he would be adding on every single second of lost time at the end of the first 45 minutes. All of which the third official calculated as adding up to … exactly ONE extra minute of added time. I’m guessing his abacus was either broken, or “non-binary”. To be fair to Carson, he did also produce the only moments of Derby brilliance in a last-ditch, dour, defensive first half. His early save from Kamara’s driven effort and his point-blank reaction save on the line, from a Mitrovic header, late in the half, stopped the hosts cancelling out Derby’s first leg advantage. The match had largely continued where it had left off on the previous Friday in the first leg; as a stale game of Derby anti-football, stifling the more creative and ambitious urges of the London side.

A packed Craven Cottage, in all its pre-match glory.

The half-time ‘entertainment’ included some under-8’s ball skill drills and a desultory on-pitch introduction to a trio of former club players, from an earlier Fulham promotion campaign: Simon Morgan, Barry Hayles and Rufus Brevett – boasting over 700 club appearances, between them; plus a tidy number of goals. How we could have used them in that first half! Such festivities didn’t hold up the main event for long, however; and, within 2 minutes of the restart, Fulham did finally wipe out their visitors’ one-goal advantage. Fulham’s “teenage sensation”, the 17-year-old ‘wunderkind’, club top goal-scorer, and Championship Player of the Season, Ryan Sessegnon, latched onto a clever chest down from wily Stefan Johansen, to unleash a powerful left-footed volley past Carson, into the roof of the Derby net, from about 8 yards out, in front of the highly excitable home fans in the Hammersmith End. Cue pandemonium – and some very negative Derby body language. They still had nearly 45 minutes of Fulham pressure to survive, having barely seen the ball at their own feet, so far; and their entire season depended on not conceding another goal.

Sessegnon (#3) fires in from close range, as wily Johansen (#8) watches on appreciatively (source: BBC Sport)

After nearly a further 20 minutes of almost unchallenged Fulham possession and dominance, Sessegnon was then also involved in the next little bit of footballing magic. Taking a left-footed corner from the right, earned by Kamara’s dogged efforts, the teenager flighted a ball perfectly to the near post for one of the smallest men on the pitch, diminutive Dennis Odoi, a 5 ft 10 in Centre Back, to leap salmon-like and flick on an expertly judged header across Carson, into the far side of the Derby net. Pandemonium resumed; but had Fulham not just scored almost too early? With nearly 25 minutes left to play, Derby finally remembered they were also allowed to venture forward, out of their own half; and their manager, Gary Rowett, needing a goal to stay in the tie, brought on the league’s top scorer (whom he had mystifyingly left out of his starting line-up) to help do just that and jog his team mates' memories. Presumably Rowett was not familiar with the well-worn maxim that “the best form of defence is attack”. Substitute Matej Vydra duly showed just what invention and threat Derby had been missing in the first 70 minutes and now looked like a constant danger to an increasingly nervous Fulham defence. In just 20 minutes he became the visitor's man of the match.

A Derby goal would usher in Extra-Time, to be followed by the lottery of penalties, if inconclusive. Belatedly chasing that dream, arguably Derby’s best chance fell late on to their Austrian forward, Andreas Weimann, who skyed a ‘free’ header high over the bar, from just 7 yards out. Ever-increasing Derby desperation did little to improve the quality of the final exchanges. Four minutes into added time the 'goal keeper was finally booked for time-wasting; but, in a refereeing irony so common "at this level", it was Fulham's Bettinelli who was penalised. He had, at worst wasted one-fifth of the time lost earlier to Scott Carson's antics. All of that was irrelevant to Fulham’s nervous, nail-biting fans, though; who invaded the pitch en masse, after the final whistle (N.B. NOT before it!). As they did so, many of them playfully shouted: “this is how you do a pitch invasion, Derby!” A joyous celebration ensued; with winning goal-scorer Odoi chaired off the pitch by the invading home fans, whilst leading their raucous singing, like a conductor at the Last Night of the Proms – a more formal gig and honour which, incidentally, I suspect he will never be given.

Dennis Odoi, almost lost in a sea of adulation and testosterone (source: BBC Sport)

Did I mention that, in seven previous attempts, Fulham had never before managed to win a single play-off fixture? It was great to be there to finally see us break that hoodoo-voodoo curse; but there was a very real danger that the on-pitch celebrations could yet be premature. There was still the small matter of a play-off final to be won, at Wem-Ber-Ley, on Saturday evening, the 26^th May. It will be the first time Fulham have graced the “New Wembley” turf; and the first time since 1975’s sad debacle against West Ham that the club have visited the North-West London stadium, with a competitive objective in mind. As fellow fan Stephen McGovern reminded me in his own, personal blog musings (where he offers another excellent take on the 'real fan' perspective): "If any club knows there is still a lot to be done, then it is this one; a club who have never won a final in their history."

The following evening we learned that our opponents were to be Aston Villa – and John Bl**dy Terry. Almost universally, Middelsboro appeared to have been the fans’ preferred option; but, in the two legs of their play-off semi they, much like Derby, appeared to have forgotten where their opponents’ goal was located. So ‘Boro and Derby must regroup for another arduous, 46-match league campaign in the second tier; whilst either Fulham or Villa will also join them again in next year's Herculean struggles. Meanwhile, Villa and Fulham must fight to the death in the gladiatorial arena for what is routinely referred to as the most valuable fixture in English football; and the right to earn an incremental £100 million per year in Premier League revenue. And no, that is NOT a typo!

Last season, Jaap Stam's Reading missed out on promotion after playing 3 games of 'anti-football', in the play-off process. This season Derby and 'Boro missed out in similar fashion, after just two games. That is a trend one can only hope is long-continued, until Championship club managers finally realise it won't succeed. Fulham's  Slaviša Jokanović only knows one way to play: The Beautiful Way. Fingers crossed that brings the club success on Saturday, at Wembley. It's a mind-set which apparently already has our blue-nosed neighbours eyeing him up as a potential successor to Antonio Conte - although that list of 'possibles' is a very long one.

Fans of The Beautiful Game might be permitted some cynicism about the play-off process, in general. Fulham ended comfortably in 3rd place; 13 points (and +11 goals) better off than Derby, over the course of the entire season. Yet the difference between the two sides in their play-off contest was just a single goal. Much the same point could be made about the difference between Villa and ‘Boro. Yet it is still the 3rd- and 4th-placed clubs who will be competing for the third promotion slot next weekend. I just hope the 3rd-placed finishers can demonstrate their pedigree and class in that showcase final.

One Derby fan posted on the BBC Sport website: “the better team won over the two legs. Simple as that - well done Fulham, you deserve it, now just make sure you go all the way”. I'll take that! While a neutral (or, more likely, an Arsenal) fan added “I'd really like to see Ryan Sessegnon get into the England WC squad … Well done FFC, win one more big game for a great season and back to the premier league. Hopefully you'll get there and finish ahead of Spurs”. A bit harsh to expect Ryan to be responsible for cleaning the England team's toilets this summer though, surely?

Sessegnon celebrates his goal with Callum - top right, arms stretched aloft, in red and black away shirt from c. 1994 ... yes, the shirt is SIX years older than Ryan! (source: FFC site)

A grand season finale at Wembley beckons; and also one absolute last match report blog for the season. The initial four play-off teams have now been whittled down to just two; and I reckon that makes for yet another “binary” football choice. Tally Ho, boys!

BBC Match Report available here

(picture source: Fulham Supporters Trust)