Norwich City vs. Derby County
Saturday 26th September, 2018: The English Championship, 3 pm k-o
A three-time Eurovision Song Contest winner, Ireland's Johnny Logan, famously sang an anthem for broken-hearted football fans and doomed youth everywhere, back in 1980: "I've been crying such a long time, with such a lot of pain in every tear. What's another year?" And, as we reach the final knockings of 2018 it is worth taking stock of the fortunes of the Football Pharaoh's favourite sides - and some others.
Fulham FC have endured a tortuous start to their new Premier League life and will consider themselves lucky / happy to be going into 2019 just 1 point adrift of safety and 17th place. They go into their new school term with the headmaster's admonitions ringing in their ears: "Must Try Harder!" - and must resolve who's going to take the penalties.
Meanwhile, Enfield Town have enjoyed a first half which almost negatively mirror's Fulham's. A long, unbeaten start to the season was followed by a disastrous November, featuring five straight defeats in league and cup competitions. They remain, however, one of the stronger sides in the league, sitting pretty in third place, on the best Goal Differential of any side. A run of form at the start of 2019 would boost hopes of a promotion. That run could start as soon as this Saturday, when The Towners take on 4th-placed Lewes, in what looks like a promotion "6-pointer". The Pharaoh had planned to be there to bring you a 2019 view from the non-league terraces - but a nasty viral infection put paid to all of that.
The Pharaoh has not, indeed, been overly prolific in his football write-ups, so far this season. A new job has created major distractions in terms of my writing brief - but it has not stopped me getting along to some notable games across the length and breadth of The Pyramid. As well as contributing to the ongoing development of Enfield Town FC's Walking Football club, which is nearing the ripe old age of one year old. These outings have included a couple of Premier League games at Craven Cottage, each of which has defied the normal glory of a Pharaonic match report. Perhaps for obvious reasons:
Saturday 27 October 2018, Fulham FC 0 - A.F.C. Bournemouth 3
Saturday 15 December 2018, Fulham FC 0 - West Ham United 2
Both were games Fulham fans might have harboured hopes of harvesting something out of. But the footballing gods have not smiled kindly on either them or their now-"former" manager, Slaviša Jokanović. The Tinkerman, Claudio Ranieri, has taken up the reins and, to some extent stemmed the flood-tide of goals conceded - although largely at the cost of goals scored. The Good News? Since that stumble, at home to The Hammers, on a bitterly cold and wet Saturday evening before Xmas, Fulham have remained unbeaten - and have conceded just one goal in the last three games, after conceding 40 in the previous 17 games. A switch to a back five away from home and a more attritional approach in midfield may win more points - but likely few friends.
Despite that obvious performance improvement, it is still difficult to hope for much from an away game at The Emirates, on New Year's Day. Indeed, I had passed up the opportunity to see only Fulham's third win of the season, as recently as Boxing Day, in order to spend some quality time "On The Road" with former Guinness colleague Mike, en route to The Championship's match of the day. As title hopefuls Norwich entertained fellow promotion rivals, the recently renamed "Frank Lampard's" Derby County.
Fulham-Huddersfield may have entertained dubious fans with a penalty-taking squabble, following which Ranieri said he would have liked to "kill" French comedy-'footballer' Aboubakar Kamara (seriously, you couldn't make this shlt up - and the self-styled "AK47" is unlikely to hear his forty-seven guns roaring at The Emirates, next time out). Whereas Norwich-Derby had so much more to offer, all round.
So I set off up the A10, aiming for a car park in Royston. Passing
Or, at least, some. One hundred hungry miles were swiftly eaten up in football and work reminiscences and general catching up. All followed by a pint of Adnams and a sausage roll at the Trafford Arms, before a leisurely stroll to the Carrow Road Stadium to soak up 10 minutes of pre-match atmosphere before the big game finally kicked off. After which, there was plenty more to keep us satisfied. See the BBC's match report
It was a seven-goal thriller to warm the very cockles, on a rapidly cooling December afternoon. That despite the normal, poor and erratic standard of refereeing "at this level". After 35 minutes of attractive, possession football by Norwich, and with a 2-goal home lead, most sweep-stakes were taking bets only on how many The Canaries would end up winning by. But football is, famously, "a funny old game". She has a habit of stealing away your Christmas presents, just when you least expect it. And so it was that, out of nothing Derby conjured the most unlikely of late first-half goals. Twice! Norwich went into the half-time break looking like they'd gone 12 rounds with Mike Tyson, as they left the pitch counting their ears.
A tense and cagey second-half ensued. One much more balanced than the first half had been. Both sides largely cancelled each other out. That was until the 81st minute, when Norfolk's favourite Finnish footballer (Teemu Pukki) struck his second goal of the game. Things were so exciting that, as the Norwich players celebrated, one set of floodlights failed.
After standing around clueless for some minutes, listening to a serenade from the home fans, inept referee David Webb finally led both sides off the pitch. Light conditions were still perfectly good (far better, indeed, than at the start of most floodlit games at Donkey Lane) but the FA's arcane rules on the level of lumens required and their consistent availability left the official with little wiggle room. With nothing much better to do, and with the temperature continuing to drop, both sets of fans spent the while bouncing up and down a lot and singing some of their favourite ditties, in an effort to keep interested and warm.
The home club's management will rue an expensive blown fuse. After re-emerging some 20 minutes later, to finish off the tie under fully repaired lighting, Daniel Farke opted for some strategic substitutional changes - which back-fired richly, like an over-cooked plate of seasonal Brussels sprouts. Bringing on a defensive midfielder (Trybull) for the booked Vrancic and the forgotten man (Jordan Rhodes) for two-goal hero Pukki seemed to unbalance the home side. First it lost them their narrow lead. Then it resulted in an injury time winner from the visitors. A couple of great, late efforts saw Rhodes unluckily hit the bar and Todd Cantwell's fierce volley turned away to his left brilliantly by Scott Carson. Fat Frank said he'd never before been involved in a match like it. I suspect he'd happily take a repeat every remaining weekend of the season.
Due to the floodlight-induced delay and the overturned lead, we made our way later than anticipated amongst a subdued home crowd, back via the long walk of shame to my car. There followed the long drive of shame back to Tesco's car park in Royston. Mike searched all known media sources, without success, for a final score that better reflected the balance of play and his hoped-for win. But there were no more Christmas presents to be had. Not even in the virtual world. Norwich would not end 2018 at the top of the table, then. And with Leeds losing at home to Hull, they could have done, had the floodlights just stayed on.
With such a lot of pain in every tear. What's another year?
All the best for 2019 from The Football Pharaoh
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