Ryman League Premier Division
Saturday 25th April, 2015 – 3pm kick-off
Regardless of matters off the pitch, Enfield Town went into their final game of the season intent on putting issues of FA disorganisation and malfeasance firmly behind them. The programme notes made it clear: we play to win; and we will sort out the legal mess (if it comes to that) later. Brad Quinton's players were in no mood to make things easy for the F.A., by failing to win and by not maintaining their current position in the final play-off place.
FA-ffing about since 1863.
The club is committed to a formal appeal, should the F**king A**eholes decide to deduct points from Town's end-of-season tally. Enfield fans have been presented with an open-and-shut case by the club's board regarding the latest disciplinary farce, which came to a head at short notice this week. Enfield were advised, clearly and in writing, earlier in the season, after drawing to the attention of the F.A. some unexpected 'irregularities' in a transferred player's paperwork, that no action would be taken against the club. The administrative errors in question had been made exclusively by other parties (i.e. other clubs and the F.A. themselves) over the transfer of player records. The selection of the new squad member by Enfield had been in unavoidable ignorance, due to the inaccurate transfer of records from a different league. It was only later identified, by Enfield Town themselves, with no help from administartors at the league or in the F.A., that Aryan Tajbakhsh should have been serving a suspension at the time of his transfer. Town notified the F.A. and, by agreement, ensured the player missed the appropriate number of following games; they were just the 'wrong' specific games, a mis-match driven by the FA's own incompetence. It was an issue of which the club had been ignorant through no fault of their own; and a matter throughout which they had conducted themselves in the best, most appropriate and professional manner. The F.A. has since made a 180-degree about-turn on that original stance of no culpability and no punishment for Enfield Town; for reasons best (and, perhaps, only) known to themselves; but, as well as being a family club, Enfield is also a fighting club - in so many senses. Formed and founded in adversity, this is a 'phoenix' club which has arisen form the ashes of other, infamous administrative irregularities. Enfield Town is "the country's first supporter-owned football club"; and not the sort of outfit likely to go away quietly and meekly to accept an "unfair" and inconsistent punishment. The specific sentence to be imposed has yet to be confirmed; perhaps giving the F.A. at least a little 'wiggle room'. They will need it!
As so often seems to be the case in such matters, the player at the centre of the storm has been less than central to Enfield's on-pitch efforts overall, this season. Tajbakhsh has made just 11 league appearances in total (he was, effectively, self-suspended for some games) and only one appearance since March. Nor does his roster of former clubs suggest he represents an injection of unprecedented stellar talent, worthy of draconian punishment by the powers-that-be (St. Albans, Barnet, Billericay, Braintree, Maidenhead, Farnborough, Harrow, Antalyaspor, Northwood). That, however, could be argued to be a largely "ecumenical matter". The ("Independent"?) press provides more details: http://www.enfieldindependent.co.uk/sport/12911865.Enfield_Town_found_guilty_of_fielding_ineligible_player/
Aryan Tajbakhsh (in white) in action for Town against Hendon.
Picture: Phil Davison
Picture: Phil Davison
The situation is both very different from and very similar to the final day of LAST season; when Town went to Cray Wanderers still needing a win to be sure of avoiding relegation - see an earlier post on this blog page (April 2014). The excitement and defiance levels were similar; but the mood was not. The target of Enfield anger was very clear: the Football Association and their inept representatives. To the tune of "If You're Happy and You Know It", home fans boisterously sang "You can stick you're FA ruling up your Ars*!"
Town fans showing the F.A. their 'Red Cards' in a pre-match protest at the Association's asinine ineptitude ... and that's putting it nicely!
With such a defiant, black mood as a backdrop, it was easy to forget that already-relegated Witham would need to be despatched first, to secure 5th place, before any fully expected but entirely unwelcome court-room shenanigans could begin in earnest. The visiting club's crest features a resplendent, golden phoenix, rising from the ashes. Which is apt for a club who were disbanded during each World War. They have been demoted before; and, like an over-eager, amateur porn star, they had gone down early, before the cameras had even started rolling today. The club is, arguably, most famous as the footballing home of local lad Olly Murrs. Although, in two seasons with the Essex side, Murrs managed just three first team appearances, scoring once, before injury ended what his PR team might, otherwise, describe as the prospect of a glittering professional career. Poor Olly! What could he possibly try his hand at next, to try and amass an easy personal fortune, instead of playing professional football?
A season's best crowd of 763 (better than twice the size of Enfield's prior average home gate) had turned out in warm sunshine to see off the regular season in style. Kiddie's face-painting, a brass band and a shot at promotion are good for cash flow, it would seem. It was the league's second highest gate of the day, behind that achieved at Champions-elect Maidstone United; and it nudged Enfield Town's average home attendance for the entire season to JUST over the 400 mark. Which shows that the Towners have been punching just above their financial weight, given the largest attendances at 6 clubs above them. Nice! After their staged red card 'protest' and after a subsequent minute's silence in commemoration of the Bradford City Valley Parade fire, Enfield kicked off towards the A10 end; and were soon dominating a team who barely tried to even pretend that they were not the third-worst side in the league - and nearly 10 points shy of safety. Witham were simply very, very poor. There were only fifteen fans in the away end; but they had brought five flags with them; presumably to try and make themselves feel at home. "You've - Got - More Flags Than Fans". A better-followed away team would have nudged our average gate for the season upwards by at least a little.
It was soon clear why so few away fans had bothered to travel. Witham Town had probably spent most of the season playing spoiling tactics; and now, even with their fate already decided, could play no other way. They had not won since the 24th March (a mid-week home game in front of just 74 fans, against fellow strugglers Peacehaven & Telscombe - whose own relegation would be confirmed by results today) and had picked up only 2 points from the last 15 available. After the first ten minutes we could all see why. With limited attacking intent and very little poise on the ball, they were there for the taking; as were the three points, surely. Yet in one sense, at least, Enfield had no hope. No Liam Hope, that is. The club's record scorer had recently passed a personal milestone of 250 appearances for the club. In doing so, he became just the third player to achieve that status; but he has been increasingly struggling to earn a place in the starting line-up. After recent cameo roles as a late substitute, a starting appearance in a minor cup fixture last week was his first since January. Today, like "Macavity: The Mystery Cat", he was nowhere to be found; not even on the bench. Is the writing, then, finally on the wall for the loyal centre forward and former crowd favourite? If he were to leave the club in the close season, I just hope his documents transfer correctly, to avoid another administrative kerfuffle!
It was soon clear why so few away fans had bothered to travel. Witham Town had probably spent most of the season playing spoiling tactics; and now, even with their fate already decided, could play no other way. They had not won since the 24th March (a mid-week home game in front of just 74 fans, against fellow strugglers Peacehaven & Telscombe - whose own relegation would be confirmed by results today) and had picked up only 2 points from the last 15 available. After the first ten minutes we could all see why. With limited attacking intent and very little poise on the ball, they were there for the taking; as were the three points, surely. Yet in one sense, at least, Enfield had no hope. No Liam Hope, that is. The club's record scorer had recently passed a personal milestone of 250 appearances for the club. In doing so, he became just the third player to achieve that status; but he has been increasingly struggling to earn a place in the starting line-up. After recent cameo roles as a late substitute, a starting appearance in a minor cup fixture last week was his first since January. Today, like "Macavity: The Mystery Cat", he was nowhere to be found; not even on the bench. Is the writing, then, finally on the wall for the loyal centre forward and former crowd favourite? If he were to leave the club in the close season, I just hope his documents transfer correctly, to avoid another administrative kerfuffle!
Corner flag 'porn': Towners' right-back, Lockie (in white, with ball) takes on Witham's defence, in early first-half action.
The early exchanges were so one-sided, it was difficult to imagine Witham posing any significant threat during the afternoon. Enfield dominated possession and territory so completely that in one early attack down the left, after 18 minutes, Bobby Devyne went easily around the away 'keeper ... twice ... seemingly at will and for fun! Now that's just showing off; especially when there is no end result, as in this case.
Devyne goes around Godwin-Green (no, it's the name of a player, NOT a village in Essex) for the first time. "Olé!"
Eventually, Enfield decided to give the visitors a sniff of a chance, just to make things a bit more interesting. An under-hit 'hospital' back-pass put Enfield 'keeper, McDonald, in trouble. He was alert; rushing out to clear the danger and, luckily, earning a rebound off the advancing striker for a goal-kick, when the ball could have gone just about anywhere. Normal service (and dominance) then resumed. It was only a matter of time, we hoped, before Town would get that all-important go-ahead goal. In the end, it took all of 30 minutes to break the deadlock.
Enfield #8, Nathan Livings, swings in an early corner.
The home side's #7, Tyler Campbell, was given far too much space (the freedom of the Borough, it seemed) as a ball rebounded towards him on the left, just outside the Witham penalty area. He quickly sized up the opportunity and struck an audacious and unexpected first-time, right-footed volley, across the visitors' goalie, Lewis Godwin-Green, and into the gaping right-hand side of the net, from over 20 yards out: 1-0; and no less than the home side richly deserved. There had not quite been enough time for play-off jitters to really start to manifest themselves. It was a worthy goal with which to secure a play-off place, potentially.
Campbell falls down "dead", to celebrate his goal; and is soon 'buried' under the hearty congratulations of his team mates.
The young referee was noticeably lacking in authority from an early stage of the game. He was clearly allowing too many robust and niggling challenges, particularly from the visiting side. Witham Town's captain, Paul King, in particular (no, not THAT Paul King, of 1980's pop fame) 
was starting to 'put himself about' a bit. A number of opportunities for the inexperienced referee to issue yellow cards and calm things down had already come and gone, unused. Almost inevitably, things came to a head just a minute after the goal. King made a series of uninterrupted "agricultural" challenges. Some high, some studs-showing, some just plain late - and all notably on Town's smaller players. With the ref STILL taking no action and waving play on, when he finally decided to blow his whistle belatedly for an Enfield free-kick, Towners CB & #4 Joe Ellul (no 'shrinking violet' himself) was already in the middle of a twenty-yard run to the half-way line to 'remonstrate' with his opposite number. An eight-man mêlée was already breaking out (entirely the referee's fault) when Ellul finally arrived on the scene. King went flying backwards as a result of the shove he received from the onrushing Enfield 'enforcer'. The ultimate outcome of the whole sorry incident was a foregone conclusion to everyone, from the moment the previously unmovable object was met by the unstoppable force. Obvious to everyone, that is, EXCEPT referee Dan Robathan; who took several minutes to consult with his assistants and gather his thoughts, trying desperately to think of a reason NOT to send off the player whose retribution would never had taken place, had he shown more back-bone himself dealing with the rogue skipper, in the first place. No reasons for a reprieve were to be found, however. Presumably a referees' adjudicator was in the stand, preventing any fudging of the issue. Ellul saw red. King, far too belatedly, saw yellow; to the accompaniment of a loud chorus of boos and the usual witty chanting about the referee's capability, eye-sight and parentage. Stormy Weather was brewing (see below).
Top: a home crowd. Bottom: an away 'crowd'. "More flags than fans!"
Play-off contenders Enfield would, then, be forced to play the remaining hour with just ten men. Not for the first time this season, it's true; but, given the atmosphere and warmth of the day, it would be an uphill struggle. To make matters worse, Witham reacted by immediately bringing on forward speedster, #12 Marcel Henry-Francis for midfielder Ryan Charles. Enfield's switch straight afterwards was more prosaic: replacement CB Ryan Doyle for sacrificed winger Michael Kalu. The formations and intentions of the two sides were set for the remainder of the game. Surprisingly, there was little immediate change in the pattern of play. Enfield continued to dominate territory and possession, despite their inferior numbers. One rare scare took place in the 43rd minute when a high yellow foot at the back post kicked Towners' LB, Ricky Gabriel, in the head. That was as close as the visitors would come to a goal in the first half. Despite all the delays and substitutions, Mr. Robathan added just 3 minutes extra before blowing for half-time and signalling the entertainment from the North London Brass Band. Strangely, the band failed to play the theme from "The Great Escape"; which might have been appropriate.
The second half carried on where the first had left off. Witham were agricultural in defence; and lacking wit in attack. Enfield barely seemed to miss their 11th man. Wise heads in the crowd observed that the final passages of play would be the hardest for the out-numbered home side, on this warm afternoon. Stranger still was Enfield's continued domination in attack. After 50 minutes, Devyne drove in a low cross from the left for CF Corey Whitely. Despite being fouled by two defenders simultaneously (see below) Whitely fought off their attentions and got his shot away -
almost scoring at the near post. It appeared to be just the reminder Witham had needed that they were still in a football match. They spent the next 5 minutes pressing forwards, into largely unfamiliar territory. This pressure culminated in a move wherein the visitors hit the under-side of the Enfield bar twice within two seconds, once with help from Town's agile 'keeper, McDonald. Enfield were riding their luck. It was, however, only a brief passage of Witham pressure. Minutes later, Enfield wrestled themselves back in charge of proceedings.
First, see above, Whiteley broke powerfully down the right before cutting inside and shooting straight at Godwin-Green, just as Devyne was arriving (out of picture) unmarked in a better position, in the centre. In the next Enfield attack, it was Devyne who was guilty of wasting a great chance to extend the home side's lead; this time creeping prematurely offside and letting Witham off the hook. But this was a floundering Essex fish, just waiting to be landed; and in the thirteenth minute Campbell bagged his second goal of the game to put the under-strength home side 2-0 up. If you didn't count the shirts, you honestly wouldn't have known which was the side with only 10 men still left on the pitch.
Campbell is 'buried' yet again by Enfield's goal celebrations. Let the poor man breathe already, why don't you? 
Witham appeared to give up hopes of getting back on level terms. Six minutes after that second Campbell goal, the referee awarded a penalty against Witham for a deliberate handball just inside the area, blocking a goal-bound shot. Curiously, no card was flourished. perhaps because the away side, egged on by their controversial captain, were already questioning and challenging every decision that went Enfield's way. Some of these possibly WERE the ref's unintentional efforts to atone for his earlier culpability. Sub CB Ryan Doyle, a reliable, regular penalty taker, placed the ball and strode up confidently to stroke the ball hard and low towards the inner, right-hand corner of the net; only for it to be palmed away athletically by the Essex side's goalie.
Godwin-Green pays attention as Doyle strides in to strike, like a cobra. A dead cobra.
With the score still at 2-0, the remaining passages of play were notable mostly for their interruption by a procession of substitutions. In the 43rd minute, however, Enfield manager Bradley Quinton was guilty of inadvertently catching the ball in his technical area, apparently before it had gone fully out of play. The eagle-eyed and officious line official flagged wildly, as one of the loudest cheers of the afternoon rang out. An uncontested drop-ball broke up the dull proceedings, from which Enfield sportingly returned possession to their dirty, cheating, fouling opponents. "Paul King, Paul King - What's the Score? Paul King - What's the Score?" The public address system announced Enfield #8 Nathan Livings as the Man-of-the-Match; which came as a surprise to many. Presumably including two-goal hero Tyler Campbell. Perhaps the adjudicators believed him to be truly 'dead and buried' after those earlier celebrations; and, therefore, not worth wasting the award on. One assumes CB's Joe Ellul and Ryan Doyle were NOT in the mix for this accolade. The home side's players were, unsurprisingly, tiring in the final stages, as predicted; but they held out easily against one of the league's worst sides. "We're by faaarr the grey - test team - the League has ever seen!"
At the final whistle, it was as though Town had already secured promotion, rather than just a potentially contested play-off place. Celebrations filled all the home areas and the players processed along the home end shaking hands and receiving back-slapping compliments in good spirit (see below). Enfield had finished 5th; just one goal's GD behind Dulwich Hamlet; but would they be allowed to keep the play-off place had worked so tirelessly to earn?
Even injured club skipper, "Super Captain Kirby", got in on the party action (below, centre), as did the somewhat more sheepish - though for differing reasons - Joe Ellul and Ryan Doyle (NOT pictured!).
Goalkeeper Nathan McDonald had kept Enfield out of serious trouble yet again, for the umpteenth time this season; and, duly, was particularly warmly received (centre, below).
Although, as previously explained, Liam Hope "WASN'T THERE", Brad Quinton WAS. Doing his very own impression of Macavity the mastermind, he gathered his players for a final, regular-season debrief on the pitch, in the well-mocked style of former Hull City manager, Phil Brown. With apologies to T. S. Eliot - and you don't often read that phrase in a football 'article':
"And they say that all the players whose wicked deeds are widely known
(I might mention Ryan Doyle, I might mention Joe Ellul)
Are nothing more than agents for the Man who all the time
Just controls their operations: the Napoleon of Crime!
(replace "Crime" with "Enfield")"
(replace "Crime" with "Enfield")"
Napoleon not-Solo. Above: Brad Quinton distractedly accepts warm praise from the appreciative crowd before (below) gathering his troops for a campaign debrief and some team photo's. The Junior Towners have other ideas, however.
And now it's back to that pesky maths revision. What are the odds of the F.A. imposing a points deduction? What are the chances of Enfield Town legally contesting this and making the play-offs after ... errm, making the play-offs? Assuming no interference 'from above', what is the likelihood that Enfield will emerge from the four play-off sides victorious, to advance into the Conference South? All these questions can only be answered in the coming days and weeks. One hopeful sign, at least, is that Enfield now sit 4th in the Ryman Premier League form table (based on the last six games, home and away); which puts them well ahead of all three other teams in those coveted (though possibly yet to be disputed) play-off places.
Ryman Premier In Limbo
"Ryman Premier Division play-off matches cannot be confirmed at this time. The league will now refer the matter to the Football Association because ... The Ryman League itself is not empowered to make such a decision. The Ryman League will continue to work with Enfield Town and the FA to resolve these issues as soon possible. The league will issue a further statement in due course following consultation with the FA." The club board's letter to fans on the matter is copied below (left).
Well done, then, The Football Association. Here's another nice mess you've gotten us into! Achieving what, previously, pretty much only World Wars have been known to manage: a footballing 'limbo'. Rest assured, sports fans, if there is any further action down at Donkey Lane this season, "WE" will be there to report it. Come On, You Towners!
The Pitchero non-league website currently carries the following story, posted 2 hours before this blog, on Sunday 26th: (http://nonleague.pitchero.com/news/ryman-premier-in-limbo-38859/)
Ryman Premier In Limbo
"Ryman Premier Division play-off matches cannot be confirmed at this time. The league will now refer the matter to the Football Association because ... The Ryman League itself is not empowered to make such a decision. The Ryman League will continue to work with Enfield Town and the FA to resolve these issues as soon possible. The league will issue a further statement in due course following consultation with the FA." The club board's letter to fans on the matter is copied below (left).
Well done, then, The Football Association. Here's another nice mess you've gotten us into! Achieving what, previously, pretty much only World Wars have been known to manage: a footballing 'limbo'. Rest assured, sports fans, if there is any further action down at Donkey Lane this season, "WE" will be there to report it. Come On, You Towners!
