In a League of Their Own

Enfield Town versus East Thurrock

Ryman League Premier Division
Monday 31st August, 2015 – 3pm kick-off

Middlesex versus Essex: The Big One ... apparently! When your club’s website is pre-empting a bad result by blatantly talking up the day’s visitors as a ‘bogey team’, then you know you could be in for a torrid time and some trouble, come the final whistle. It seems that Enfield Town have never beaten East Thurrock. A record that was (an optimist might say) surely overdue for breaking; despite the disparate league table positions of the teams at kick-off being 20^th and 9^th, respectively. Especially if one took into account Enfield's impressive pre-season friendly win against "The Rocks" (3-4) away at Rookery Hill, back on the first day of August. What a difference, however, a month has made for both clubs. Thurrock were given a big-up in the match-day programme (see cover, below) by Towners' vice-chairman Paul Millington as "one of the first clubs that gave us their support during the points deduction issue that arose at the end of last season". Fair play to them, then for that. Perhaps they would be equally accommodating over the small matter of 3 home points early this season?

It is, indeed, still very early in this campaign; but most Towners fans will already be hoping to avoid another "Winter of Discontent". Just three points from the first five league games is a poor return, it is true - all earned in a narrow home win against recently promoted Burgess Hill Town - but the Enfield side is somewhat changed from last season - including the heavy loss of former club captain and central-defensive rock, Mark Kirby. Injuries and absences have also cost us – as have a couple of injudicious red card offences. So one should not set too much store by the results exhibited so far. I went along to the QEII hoping that the final fixture of August might at last kick-start Town’s stuttering season into life, once and for all. On an English August Bank Holiday Monday, during the latest ‘International Break’, there wasn’t much else to do. 

Nine goals conceded in the first 6 games wasn’t the worst record in the league, somewhat surprisingly. Eleven other teams had fared as badly, or worse-ly, at the back. Although, perhaps more worryingly, I was left feeling a little unconvinced by Enfield’s scoring prowess to date; their paltry single goal scored so far in the league being the worst record of all the 24 teams. To be fair, I HAD already seen Enfield score a brace in a match against league rivals this season, Brentwood, as reported elsewhere on this blog; but that had been in the League Cup competition. It had also required them to be stung into action by going a goal behind, first.

The availability of key team members has been so mixed in previous games, that only TWO players have been ever-present in the 6 competitive fixtures played to-date. Both would feature prominently again, today: 'Keeper Nathan McDonald and Skipper, Ryan Doyle. The visitors have a squad boasting no less than three players claiming Caribbean nationalities. Although only one would feature today: Simon Peddie has been capped twice for the Montserrat national football team. They brought a reasonable amount of away support, which helped to muster a match attendance of 441 brave souls and masochists.

Before we get into details of the action, first a word about the day's weather. And what could sum it up better than the words of Henry Thacker Burleigh (1866-1949) made famous by Sister Rosetta Tharpe (1948) & Mahalia Jackson (1954):

Didn't it rain, children?
Talk 'bout rain, oh, my Lord!
Didn't it, didn't it, didn't it oh, my Lord,
Didn't it rain?
Didn't it rain, children?
Talk 'bout rain, oh, my Lord!
Didn't it, didn't it, didn't it, oh, my Lord,
Didn't it rain?

No, it didn't exactly "rain 40 days, 40 nights without stopping"; but Old Noah and both teams' faithful followers were still "glad when the rain finally did stop dropping". Yes, typical English Summer Bank Holiday weather played its part and meant that there had been some concern as to whether the pitch would be in fit condition for the match; and whether ("weather"?) it would get underway at all. By 2pm, however, the rain had cleared up enough to allow the referee to pronounce the fixture as "on". The greasy conditions seemed like a good omen for a healthy goal count. By 3.15pm, a persistent drizzle had returned, along with a Northerly breeze. It was a combination that had most fans heading for cover, making the home end officially "cosy". The away end less so.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, given the above preamble regarding player availability, the Enfield defence was doing its very best impression of a group of strangers meeting at a party: "... and how do YOU do?" The Essex side, however, wasn't standing on such ceremony. The tone for an uncomfortable match (for Enfield's fans, at least) was set as early as the third minute. That's when an under-struck back-pass played Town's goalie, Nathan McDonald, into early trouble. Thurrock's Harry Honesty (honestly, you couldn't make it up!) chased the loose pass. He tucked it past the Town 'keeper and looked for all the world to have been taken out by the custodian as he rounded him, intent on finishing off his own good work. Enfield hearts were firmly in mouths, as the visitors' #11 hit the deck, well inside the penalty area. Mysteriously, referee Mr. Ellis Clark waved play on - seeming to doubt the striker's "Honesty" - and Town cleared their lines; but they had dodged an early, silver-plated bullet.

Within four minutes, Town had grabbed the game by the scruff of the neck themselves and taken the lead. Enfield's diminutive #9, Wynter, floated a shot from the left-hand edge of the area high into the right-hand side of the net, around the flailing left palm of Thurrock's 'keeper, Lucas Lidakevicius.

Dernell Wynter (centre) is congratulated on having found black boots to wear - and for using them to score only Enfield's SECOND(!) league goal of the season: 1-0.

I won't bore you with all the rest of the gory match report details. As usual, you can do that for yourself, on the club's own web-page:
http://www.enfieldtownfootballclub.co.uk/teams/65370/match-centre/1-1607195

Suffice to say that Enfield shared an evenly-fought contest, with worthy opponents. Town showed some pace and finesse going forward, for sure; but rarely looked likely to increase their lead, against well-organised visitors. There were frequent Comedies of Errors at the back, though; and Town were lucky to go in at the interval still clutching onto their single-goal lead. This was thanks in part to our regular #2 and most-capped squad member, Jordan Lockie; a right-back who intercepted one threatening forward ball down the left from Thurrock by sending it firmly out of play and, not even troubling the occupants of 'Row Z', high over the main stand, straight into the King George V Playing Fields beyond. As they often say: "If in doubt ...". It gave him time to regain his breath and return to the right side of our shaky defence.

 

The iconic stand that Lockie's clearance cleared. Seen from outside ... and in.

Half-time food queue. Back in the mists of time, my search for the best of non-league ground cuisine is what first brought me to the QEII. Yeah, thanks, Grant!

Long after a tannoy-less half-time break in the game had ended, the inevitable equaliser finally came for East Thurrock in the 66th minute. Equally inevitably, it came from a defensive lapse. Town gave away an unnecessary throw-in, deep in their own half on their left. It was worked nicely across them to their right, where Rocks #3, Tom Wraight, was on hand to drive a shot back across McDonald and low into the left-hand side of his net: 1-1; and it was probably no less than Thurrock had deserved.

Skipper Ryan Doyle sends in a right-footed cross over the wall, from a 2nd-half free-kick on the left. Spot the ball!

In fact, Enfield did have the ball in the Thurrock net one more time, in the 90th minute, after a firm and well-placed header from a corner on the right; but Mr. Clark had seen an infringement and he consequently disallowed Town's third "goal" of the season. So Thurrock maintained their title of Enfield's 'Bogey Team' and, slightly fortuitously, stood firm; taking a share of the (two) points back to the Far East. As a result of that result, Town dropped a place to 21st; but they will be happy to have taken something from the game - anything - and to have doubled their goal tally for the season.

Tyler Campbell pursues and (just!) keeps in a testing late "pass".

Enfield are not in a league of their own quite yet; but if they can't find a few more goals from somewhere quickly, they might soon be!

More Corner Flag "porn" from the QEII Stadium.

Town now face a series of away fixtures - one in the FA Cup 1st Qualifying Round and two in the league - before they return to Donkey Lane to take on the enigma which is Farnborough. Relegated from the Conference South at the end of last season, the Hampshire side currently sit one place below Enfield in the table. They have one point less but have scored 4 goals more, after playing only 2 fixtures so far. They have made a delayed start to their season, after falling foul of the FA's financial regulations and being prevented from fulfilling their early scheduled fixtures. It was touch and go for a while as to whether they would be allowed to play at all this year. Such is the world of non-league football, in the seventh English tier.

ETFC: The Co-Operative Club? At least in defence.

East Thurrock, as it turned out, would not be so accommodating about those three home points, after all.

"When the Going Gets Tough ..."

Brentwood Town versus Enfield Town

Ryman League Cup
Tuesday 18th August, 2015 – 7.45pm kick-off

The date 18th August 1940 has become known in history as The Hardest Day, due to the scale of casualties suffered by both sides in the air war over Britain, between the German Luftwaffe and the Royal Air Force. Seventy-five years later to the day (18/8/15) might well be dubbed by non-league football historians (both of them) as The Hardest Evening. Starting at 7.45pm, Enfield attempted to break their duck in the new Ryman Premier League season. Not only had they failed to win a game so far, in three attempts in the league; not only had they failed to earn a single point; but they had also failed to even register a single goal. Brentwood hadn't fared much better. Truly, it had all the makings of The Longest, Hardest Evening. So I invited a couple of old college buddies along to share my pain. Bill & Jez were both up for the challenge. Not lease because Brentwood is an awful lot easier for both these Essex boys to reach than Enfield. Our combined age is too great to admit to here; but each of us is barely any older than one ever-green Teddy Sherringham, MBE. I saw Sir Edward earlier in the day at the Waltham Abbey Marriott Hotel, with his Stevenage Borough players, ahead of their game at Orient. When I leaned over to my Kiwi work colleague and mentioned Sherringham's presence and his playing record (three Premier League titles, one FA Cup, one UEFA Champions League and both the PFA Players' Player of the Year and FWA Footballer of the Year; scorer of the equaliser and provider of the assist for Manchester United's winning goal in the 1999 UEFA Champions League Final against Bayern Munich).... he was suitably non-plussed by my reference to the former England, Man United and Spurs goal-hound. Thanks, Ben! I took my sighting of him as a positive omen for Enfield Town's chances later that day, anyway. Especially when I discovered that the matchday sponsors were "Marriotts" (see programme cover, above). Spooky, eh?!

The Three Amigos: DH; Bill & Jez

It is not often that I find myself ahead of Wiki with local knowledge; but that’s where I was on Tuesday night, with more than a little help from Jez. Mr. Crook is a former primary school head-teacher. He is also a former non-league footballer of some stature, himself; having been a stalwart of Chelmsford City for many seasons … too many seasons ago to care to remember, today. Before the game, Jez introduced Bill & me to an old buddy of his; another seasoned player who would spend the evening polishing up the wooden bench with his Brentwood Town F. C. shorts. Wiki reliably informed us that “Tarkan Mustafa … currently plays for Canvey Island”. Not any more, he doesn’t! He has previously played in the Football League for both Barnet and Rushden & Diamonds. With a long roster of professional and non-league clubs to his name, Tarkan has two other great claims to fame: 1) In 1999 he scored the winning goal in the FA Trophy final for Kingstonian against Forest Green Rovers; and 2) He makes regular trips out of the UK to appear in a variety of publicity materials and media as Christian Ronaldo’s body-double. Bill, meanwhile (also a senior teacher; but in secondary schooling) knows very few non-league footballers. He is a Colchester United and West Ham fan; and one of his own claims to fame is that he taught Connor Wickham (Premier League superstar and once one of Colchester's finest!?) for a time.

My visit to Brentwood was made all the more interesting than usual by the potential presence of former Enfield Town strike partners Liam Hope (still the club’s record goal-scorer) and Mitch Hahn. Liam didn’t even make the Brentwood line-up, although he was present in the stands in his new club’s tracksuit; while Mitch did start the game as captain … but at Centre Back! As for all the other players, the pre-printed team selections on the match programme could hardly have been designed to be more misleading; which caused some confusion in the opening minutes of the game: only 4 of the starting line-up for each team were as shown in the programme. With so many changes from ther regular line-ups, neither side seemed to be taking the Cup too seriously. Oh, and it seemed to bode no good that the busiest (and fittest) man during the warm-up seemed to be the chap retrieving all the balls that had been launched out of the ground.

Most of the necessary gory minutiae can be found in Ken Brazier's match report on the Towners club website, so I won't repeat the crime and duplicate his coverage. 

See: http://www.enfieldtownfootballclub.co.uk/teams/65370/match-centre/2-27737. Or, if you prefer the home perspective, check out Martin Voller's version, here: http://brentwoodtownfc.co.uk/the-news/820-enfield-s-quickfire-double-sends-brentwood-town-out-of-league-cup

Corner flag and Floodlight "porn".

In front of a disappointing crowd of just 85, for me, the dominant force in a largely stale first hour was Brentwood’s big Centre Forward, Assombalonga. He received, held, held-off and was, in general, a right nuisance; not least because "he wanted it more". After the opening goal, I was all for re-drafting a headline based on that old chestnut from the Daily Mail (23/9/13): “Assombalonga Inspires Conga” - even though there wasn’t much dance action happening around the home end. And, anyway, that original had been written about Brit - and this was 20 year-old Christian. When he was surprisingly substituted by his manager Dean Holdsworth (yes, THAT Dean Holdsworth!) after 59 minutes, his job apparently done - to be quickly followed off by Holdsworth’s son, Jordan - Brentwood rapidly lost most of their shape and threat; and all of their control. A quarter of an hour later, they were 1-2 down, never to recover; their Ryman League Cup hopes shattered for another year by a premature double-substitution which, surely, had more than half an eye on Saturdays league fixture. Oops!

Sunset over Brentwood (in blue) and a first-half flick on from a long throw-in.

So, in summary, just fifteen minutes away from their 4th successive defeat, Enfield were allowed to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. While the football may not have been overly entertaining, the three amigos decided that, overall, the effort had been well worthwhile. Fixture lists will be scrutinised hard for a more worthy follow-up game. Was it their presence, or the earlier talismanic appearance of Teddy Sherringham, that had brought a change of fortune? You can make up your own mind; but Stevenage lost 3-0 at Brisbane Road that night. Coverage of Enfield Town league action will return soon if you can bear to wait that long?! "...undaunted by odds, unwearied in their constant challenge and mortal danger... by their prowess and by their devotion. Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few".

It's back - and this time it's Personal!

Enfield Town versus Tonbridge Angels
Ryman League Premier Division
Saturday 8th August, 2015 – 3pm kick-off

Yes, welcome back! It’s a real mish-mash of coverage this week, football fans. Derivative; slow off the mark; slow to get back in the groove – a description that applies equally to both me AND the players of Enfield Town F. C., in this first week of the new Ryman Isthmian League Premier Division season.

After 15 years of existence as a club, the F.A.’s shameful shenanigans at the end of last term had made the 15-week break seem particularly lengthy and tedious for Towners fans around the globe. With each week feeling, more or less, a year long, to match the club's age. The manager and team were certainly making all the right pre-season noises: about “putting all the wrongs right” and “letting their football do the talking on the pitch”. As the sun shone brightly on the emerald green sward of the Queen Elizabeth II stadium and the holiday crowd of 451 expectant souls soaked up the early-August atmosphere, it was easy to get sucked into the illusion that everything would soon be right with the world; and justice would be seen to be done.

Our visitors would, however, prove to be a tough opening day test. Tonbridge Football Club was formed in October 1947 and took out a lease on the Angel Ground, formerly the home of Kent County Cricket Club, named after the nearby hotel, 'The Angel'. Hence Tonbridge became known as 'The Angels'. Stop me if you've heard all this before. A crowd of around 5,000 turned up for the club's opening league fixture against fellow newcomers Hastings United but the match was lost 2–1; and they were unlikely to face a similar crowd at Donkey Lane today.

During the 2014-15 season, steps were taken by Angels supporters to purchase shares in the club, so as to make it majority-owned by its fans; a model familiar to Enfield supporters and club members. Taking a short France-bound tangential mental detour, and given their ground’s proximity to the exit of the Channel Tunnel, it was something of a surprise to note that the Angels’ entire squad claims English nationality.

In order to break myself slowly back into the rhythm of a new season of Towners coverage, I have decided to let a triumvirate of excellent contributors take most of the strain off my shoulders, this week. My first offering comes from “The Guardian”; and is provided by a local school teacher, who brought a mass of untidy, sprawling kids along to their first football match, at The Lane, late last season. It’s not often The Towners rate ‘broadsheet’ coverage, so we must make the most of it. My sincere thanks go to one Mr. Jez Crooks, late of Chelmsford Town F.C., for drawing it to my attention, originally; although the club also since chose to feature it, in their opening day programme (cover picture, above) as the centre-page spread. And quite rightly - “The day a teacher took 40 primary school kids to watch Enfield Town”; although, OK, perhaps it’s NOT the snappiest of headlines, but don't let THAT put you off: http://www.theguardian.com/football/when-saturday-comes-blog/2015/jul/10/teacher-school-enfield-town-non-league

1st-half action: Town carry the game to Angels; the pattern for most of the game.

If that article hasn’t already warmed the cockles of your hardened, salt-water heart, then the following link surely will. My second offering may be slightly less true, technically, than the first; but we live forever in hope. The Daily Mash made its bold claim with such swaggering confidence in the title of its major exposé article, that I could hardly fail to share it here: “Non-League football best place to meet Women”. Perhaps you have heard it here first - http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/non-league-football-best-place-to-meet-women-20150813101060

Enfield (in white) prepare for a training ground free-kick routine; and, normally, practice makes perfect - or so they say!

My third contributor is regular club coverage provider, Ken Brazier. I share this report in the spirit that he tells a bad story probably as well as anybody could: “Muted start for Town”; and I give it to you word-for-word; warts and all

This game was a rather subdued stalemate for the majority of the 90 minutes; but Angels secured all three points with an unexpected 88th minute back-post header from Tom Parkinson. On a hot day, which no doubt contributed to a lethargic first half, there was little to choose between the two sides, with chances at a premium. The challenges were flying in thick and fast early on, and Stan Muguo, Sonny Miles for the visitors and Nathan Livings all found themselves in referee Lee Forrester's notebook within the first ten minutes.

On 25 minutes a dangerous Dernell Wynter cross evaded everyone and, at the other end, a good ball in from Parkinson was cleared by Livings. Just after the half-hour mark, a great cross from Corey Whitely, who had won the ball superbly from Miles, ended up with Will Godmon in the away goal doing well to keep out a Livings effort. For the visitors, Nathan Elder miskicked when well placed, and then Miles thwarted Wynter with a timely tackle.

Half-time: Enfield Town 0 Tonbridge Angels 0

A 2nd-half goal-mouth scramble leads to ... absolutely nothing ... yet again!

In the second period, play became a little more open, but it was still difficult to see where a winner would come from. Nathan McDonald, in the home goal, returning to the Club for an extended loan spell, made a couple of great saves to keep Town in the game and, after a flurry of substitutions, Alex Cathline was just wide for Town, followed by a header from newcomer Olumide Durojaiye which was deflected behind for a corner. With thirteen minutes left, substitute Ryan Doyle saw a good effort cleared, and Samir Bihmoutine rattled the Tonbridge crossbar (pictured) for arguably Town's best effort of the game.

Just when it looked as though the honours would be shared, a cross into the box from James Folkes was met emphatically by Parkinson to win the game. A minute later, Cathline nearly netted an immediate equaliser, but the Angels hung on to preserve their precious lead. Town won’t have to wait long to atone for this result; a trip across Middlesex to face last season’s runners-up Hendon on Monday night, with the suspended Ricky Gabriel and Aryan Tajbakhsh available

Full-time: Enfield Town 0 Tonbridge Angels 1

Enfield Town: Nathan McDonald, Mickey Parcell, Samir Bihmoutine, Claudiu Vilcu, Jake Hutchings, Jandir Da Cruz, Stanley Muguo , Nathan Livings (Tayshan Hayden-Smith 84), Corey Whitely, Olumide Durojaiye (Ryan Doyle 73), Dernell Wynter (Alex Cathline 60). Unused subs: Joe Stevens, Ralston Gabriel. Booked: Muguo, Livings, Purcell.

Tonbridge Angels: Will Godmon, James Folkes (Laurence Ball 90), Jack Parter, Tom Parkinson, Jerome Sobers, Sonny Miles, Charlie Webster, Tom Phipp, Nathan Elder (Lee Carey 77), Tommy Whitnell (Luke Blewden 62), Nick Wheeler. Unused subs: Tom Pearson, Aaron McGuigan. Booked: Miles, Wheeler.

Attendance: 458

Thanks, Ken! But let me tell you all (crisp and clear, right here and right now) that Tom Parkinson’s 88th minute back-post header was far from “unexpected”. Regular readers of this occasional ‘column’ will know the steady rhythm of many a Towners’ game: possession, pressure, pulsating pride … with insufficient punch; and, almost inevitably, a steadily creeping sense of impending doom was increasingly palpable in the crowd, as the game wore on without an Enfield opener. On the plus side, Town looked fit and up for the fight that lurks in the season ahead. The extended loan signing of last season’s on-loan ‘Keeper, Nathan McDonald, is genuinely a great piece of non-league business. On the down-side, they lacked cohesion (perhaps unsurprisingly, given the FIVE débutants in the starting line-up) and the coaching staff seemed unable to communicate or implement a 'Plan B', against well-organised opposition.

 Yet another beautiful day in North London.

The travelling Kent fans were more numerous than is normally experienced at the QEII (around 70 semi-vocal fans – at least they were AFTER the goal was finally scored - occupied the away end). But their songs might well have been of a different hue, if only Samir Bihmoutine’s 78th minute strike had grazed the under-side of the Angels’ crossbar, rather than the upper side. It was the turning point of the game. Finally Towners fans knew it would NOT be their day, surely; and Angels fans began to believe in the unlikely prize of some all-important away points. Three, though, must surely still have been well beyond their fevered, Kentish imaginations.

 A rare Angels attack; but at least they'd brought some (quiet) fans.

It may have been "very romantic and exciting”; but Enfield fans were struggling to notice that side of things. It's true that your doughty reporter did manage to snaffle the second-to-last copy of the matchday programme; but that wasn't the fault of Pippa Middleton, her famous buttocks or her middle-class-totty pals. They had (perhaps predictably) failed to show; and, even though I had got the programme, apparently it still "doesn’t count". My journey had, indeed, proved "fruitless, which is quite annoying.” 

 Totally gratuitous, full-frontal, corner-flag 'porn'. In broad daylight!

If Sienna Miller or Emma Watson turns up next time, leaning against the tea stall or the burger van, I won't even bother with the team-sheet; but will probably give them a flea in their ear, turn tail and head for home, to save myself the hour-and-a-half of exquisite, non-league pain that would, otherwise, surely follow.

I'll get my cagoule!

 The natives: increasingly restless, "as time goes by".

It's crunch time in the Second Division Play-Offs ... and there's finally a result in the long-running Enfield Town points-deduction débâcle

Stevenage F.C. versus Southend United

Football League Division Two Play-Offs
Kick-off: Sunday 10th May, 2015 @ 6.35pm

Regulars will probably already know that I'd been denied the chance so far of watching Enfield Town in action in the Ryman Premier League Play-Offs. So I decided to get along to watch a (relatively) local alternative play-off game, instead. It was a strange kick-off time on an unusual day of the week; but, putting on my "Neutral" shirt this Sunday at tea-time, I was looking forward to standing on a terrace again, to watch some League football.

With Enfield Town F.C. still engaged in a legal dispute with The Feeble AMATEURS (The FA) over a duplicitous and controversial points deduction and their own play-off place, this was, arguably the best I could hope for, at present. My 'neutral' shirt, incidentally, was Fulham FC's away kit from 1994. The GMB-sponsored red and black halves number by Vandanel, which I was often spotted sweating vigorously into at Wanderers Club practice evenings, in the mid-'90's. (Come On, You Whites!). Back in those days when I was (frequently) asked why the GMB union had chosen to sponsor Fulham I used to say, only half-jokingly, that it was because our players were mostly semi-skilled labourers. How we larrffed!

There were other Fulham FC connections that evening. The last time I'd been along to Broadhall Way was for a Fulham pre-season friendly, back in the '90's. When the Away end wasn't even covered - and, of course, it rained... heavily! I haven't been along there since. There were a couple of other more recent Fulham FC connections, which others might have missed, on Sunday. Firstly, FFC's former goalkeeping coach (originally appointed by his old Crazy Gang buddy, "Dirty" Lawrie Sanchez) 56 year-old Dave Beasant, was named on the bench as substitute goalie, in the absence of his son from the Stevenage line-up. Secondly, former FFC Reserves player, Michael Timlin was turning out for Southend; and really "made his mark" on the game - see below.
.
The Home End: surprisingly quiet and less than full.

Stevenage boss Graham Westley is in his third spell in charge at the club. His journeyman playing career included spells at Gillingham, Barnet and Enfield (where he later also managed). His opponent in the dugout, Phil Brown, will be well-remembered for his tenure in charge at Hull City - and his on-pitch half-time impromptu coaching/remonstrations with his players. Both of today's competing clubs were in rich veins of form, coming into the clash. The Away side had sold out all their tickets; and their fans provided most of the game's atmosphere, in a relatively small play-off crowd of just 5,183, in a ground with a  6,722 capacity. Southend were the better organised side. They also showed a better touch in a first half memorable mostly for some great goal-keeping and one of football's more horrific head clashes.

The sun sets over Broadhall Way, as a late Southend corner is sent in under floodlights.

Former Fulham man, Timlin, was in the wars with Stevenage captain Bira Dembele. Their 'coming together' forced a 9-minute stoppage in play, during which not one but TWO stretchers were on the pitch, simultaneously. Fortunately both left the pitch unused. Amazingly, Dembele played on and finished the half before being substituted. Timlin did NOT carry on. A glimpse at the photo's below (courtesy of the BBC Sport website) probably shows why. It's a proper man's game down in the 4th tier.
 

The second half saw action of a different kind. First came the long-awaited opening goal. Arguably against the run of play, Dean Parrett put the hosts in front, with a 25-yard effort after 51 minutes, finally beating the well-regarded Southend stopper, Bentley. The BBC later described it as "a stunning, curling effort"; and then Stevenage dropped deeper, trying to close up the game. There were to be plenty more chances at both ends, though, before the Essex visitors got what they so clearly deserved - an equaliser, after 9 minutes of nervous endeavour. The club's top-scorer, Corr sent a towering, far-post header in, deflected off "the unfortunate Andy Bond".

Parrett (white, #18, wheels away after firing Stevenage in front. I saw the ball go in ... but my camera didn't! The Southend crowd were suddenly silenced. Briefly.

There were seven yellow cards, in a game played in relatively good spirit. These were mostly for cynical, play-stopping interventions. There were, however, to be no further goals, despite which, it seemed like £20 relatively well spent. Although it would have been nicer if the fixtures had been reversed, so that we could have had the chance of a Sunday out by the seaside, with cockles, whelks, jellied eels, kiss-me-quick hats and a gentle afternoon stroll on the mud.

All over; all-square; and off to Roots Hall on Thursday for the return fixture.

As I type up my notes, it is currently the same score-line, 1-1, in the second leg as well ... with just 20 minutes left to play. It looks as though there will be extra time; and, perhaps, penalties? These are two evenly matched sides, even if Southend do have the edge in terms of touch and finesse; and it will be a shame to see either team fail to make it up the Wembley Way, as one of them must. Oh, and if you can believe it, Michael Timlin IS playing again tonight, despite a gaping hole in his head.
Meanwhile in another, similarly surreal world ...

ETFC Appeal unsuccessful

ENFIELD TOWN FC STATEMENT - 12th May 2015

"Enfield Town Football Club has today (Tuesday) been unsuccessful in its bid to overturn the verdict of the FA Regulatory Commission in respect of alleged breaches of FA Rule E10 (fielding a player while suspended) ... the Board has taken the unanimous decision not to take any action that would delay the play offs any further". A total travesty and a shambles of unfairness. So the FA's own record-keeping ineptitude is irrelevant. Their previous commitment NOT to take disciplinary action against Town, in recognition of their own ineptitude at record-keeping, is also irrelevant. I am too gutted and angry to say much more. It's been an up and down season. Mostly up, since Brad Quinton took over as manager; but it's particularly disappointing that, after losing points to so many weak teams throughout the year, it turns out that a win against any one of those poor sides would have been enough to have kept Enfield in the play-offs, even with an unjust points deduction. I hope you've enjoyed some of the action, vicariously, through my blog page. It's gonna be a long close-season!

See you all next season, for more of the same, then!?

DES

"Sweet" FA: The Sequel ... like a sore nose in January, this one could run and run

Enfield Town versus The Football Association
Ryman League Premier Division
Kick-off: Friday 1st May, 2015
Second leg: May 8th, 2015 (tbc)

Greg Dyke: unlikely to be personally responsible for this latest F.A. mess; since he's probably never even heard of Donkey Lane. Although perhaps he had a sly side-bet on the Met Police making the play-offs?

"Why Always US?" As suspected, the 'news' that was so confidently predicted here, on North London's favourite non-league football club blog, over a week ago, has finally come to pass (see "Sweet" FA: Last Day Blues for Ten-Man Enfield?). So it looks, after all, as though matters really ARE going to be left in the hands of m'learned colleagues, now. Only the lawyers' pension plans, surely, can benefit from this sorry saga of institutional administrative ineptitude and accountability-dodging. Feeling themselves to have been boxed into a corner (on the wrong side of an unfair decision, frustrating flip-flopping and over-extended prevarication) Enfield Town F.C.'s board yesterday reached what may come to be seen as a momentous and historic decision for non-league football. Appropriately enough, on "May-Day, May-Day", the following news broke via a club statement on the Towners website:
http://www.enfieldtownfootballclub.co.uk/news/club-statement-1423226.html

... in relation to charges against ETFC and Aryan Tajbakhsh. The Board has decided to proceed with an appeal against the FA decision. A date for this appeal has been set for 8th May. The Board will aim to make an announcement next week on whether or not the Club intends to appeal against the Ryman League decision.

In the meantime, the club would like to thank other clubs, supporters and commentators for the overwhelming messages of support ... We have been truly overwhelmed by these sympathetic messages, including some which have put forward some suggestions for fund-raising, should we wish to pursue the issues further. The ethos of non-league football has been evident in every message!

This was in response to a bureaucratic and jargon-infested, self-supporting statement from the Ryman League, made earlier on the same day:

A Football Association Regulatory Commission found a charge against Enfield Town FC of two breaches of FA Rule E10 proven on 22 April 2015.

This arose from the fact that the Club played their player Aryan Tajbakhsh in two matches when the player should have been suspended for reaching 10 cautions in the season. (DH: Yes, do get on with it. We all know about that, already. The only questions at stake are "whose fault it is that this situation arose in the first place?" and "why has the F.A. reneged on an apparently written commitment to take no disciplinary action against the blameless Enfield Town F.C.?"). Following that finding, the Ryman League charged the Club with two offences under their Rule 6.9 of playing an ineligible player in two matches. (DH: This is a charge the club have never contested. It is the Enfield Town board's oft-stated view and much-documented stance that it was only the club's own research which brought the administrative inconsistencies of other parties, including the F.A., to light, in the first place!) The Club requested a personal hearing which took place on 29th April. The charge against the Club was found proven and, following Rule 6.9, it was ordered that Enfield Town FC have the three points it gained from the matches concerned deducted and that the Club pay a fine. The impact of the three point deduction is that Enfield Town FC, which had qualified for the Play Offs having finished in fifth position, now fail to so qualify.

The Board of Directors of the League met on Thursday (April 30) and expressed their great regret (DH: I'm currently checking my dictionary, here, for the meaning of the phrase "weasel words") at the outcome of this charge. It was disappointed (DH: Ditto - see above) that although the Club had reported the matter to The FA on 26th January, The FA had not been able to hold a hearing until 22 April. (DH: The F.A. appear to have needed all this time to prevaricate at length and pontificate over why they had made such huge inter-league administrative assumptions and errors, without spotting them first, themselves) The Board also regretted the effect to the other Clubs involved in the Play Offs. (DH: Really?! Scr*w them!.) The Board wish to make it clear that there was no alternative to the order made  (DH: I'm currently checking my dictionary for that phrase again, here) because Rule 6.9 states: “Any Club found to have played an ineligible player shall have any points gained from that match or matches deducted from its record…and have levied upon it a fine.” It should be noted that the matches concerned were not ordered to be replayed nor were penalty points levied against the Club which it could have done. (DH: I almost start to feel sorry for them. Diddums!)

The Club now has the ability to appeal the League's decision to The Football Association which has the power to alter the decision of the League. The Board hopes that others will refrain from comment without knowing the full facts of the matter (DH: yeah, good luck with that!). The Board also hope that all Clubs will understand that once a charge is proved the Board has no alternative but to deduct points gained and levy a fine. The order made follows Rule 6.9 and many previous decisions in fairness to the Clubs sanctioned previously by the League. The Board will urgently seek a meeting with the Director of Football Services [at The FA] to discuss various aspects of this case, particularly the timing of the action. (see http://www.isthmian.co.uk/enfield-town-league-statement-010515-24284/)

And so it begins. The Ryman League and The F.A. have, thus, successfully managed to cast themselves in the roles of slopey-shouldered, administratively blundering (apparently yoga-loving?) Pontius Pilates -  washing their hands of the whole matter - and vindictive Herod Antipaters ... as depicted in a quite well known, earlier, non-footballing story, which some readers may remember. It is a shame that Enfield Town's hard-fought, roller-coaster of a season might yet end within the dark and murky, labyrinthine confines of the law courts, rather than on a verdant football pitch, in glorious May sunshine. Come On, You Towners!

As a famously-combative and pugnacious former-Prime Minister might have said (in a week of UK General Election): "We shall go on to the end. We shall fight ... on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our club, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the pitches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the law courts; we shall never surrender ..." ¡No pasarán!

Raphael: The Mond Crucifixion (about 1502-3).'The Crucified Christ with the Virgin, Saints and Angels', at the National Gallery, London. It formerly served as the altarpiece of the side chapel in S. Domenico in Città di Castello.

"Sweet" FA: Last Day Blues for Ten-Man Enfield?

Enfield Town versus Witham Town
Ryman League Premier Division
Saturday 25th April, 2015 – 3pm kick-off

Regardless of matters off the pitch, Enfield Town went into their final game of the season intent on putting issues of FA disorganisation and malfeasance firmly behind them. The programme notes made it clear: we play to win; and we will sort out the legal mess (if it comes to that) later. Brad Quinton's players were in no mood to make things easy for the F.A., by failing to win and by not maintaining their current position in the final play-off place.

FA-ffing about since 1863.

The club is committed to a formal appeal, should the F**king A**eholes decide to deduct points from Town's end-of-season tally. Enfield fans have been presented with an open-and-shut case by the club's board regarding the latest disciplinary farce, which came to a head at short notice this week. Enfield were advised, clearly and in writing, earlier in the season, after drawing to the attention of the F.A. some unexpected 'irregularities' in a transferred player's paperwork, that no action would be taken against the club. The administrative errors in question had been made exclusively by other parties (i.e. other clubs and the F.A. themselves) over the transfer of player records. The selection of the new squad member by Enfield had been in unavoidable ignorance, due to the inaccurate transfer of records from a different league. It was only later identified, by Enfield Town themselves, with no help from administartors at the league or in the F.A., that Aryan Tajbakhsh should have been serving a suspension at the time of his transfer. Town notified the F.A. and, by agreement, ensured the player missed the appropriate number of following games; they were just the 'wrong' specific games, a mis-match driven by the FA's own incompetence. It was an issue of which the club had been ignorant through no fault of their own; and a matter throughout which they had conducted themselves in the best, most appropriate and professional manner. The F.A. has since made a 180-degree about-turn on that original stance of no culpability and no punishment for Enfield Town; for reasons best (and, perhaps, only) known to themselves; but, as well as being a family club, Enfield is also a fighting club - in so many senses. Formed and founded in adversity, this is a 'phoenix' club which has arisen form the ashes of other, infamous administrative irregularities. Enfield Town is "the country's first supporter-owned football club"; and not the sort of outfit likely to go away quietly and meekly to accept an "unfair" and inconsistent punishment. The specific sentence to be imposed has yet to be confirmed; perhaps giving the F.A. at least a little 'wiggle room'. They will need it!

As so often seems to be the case in such matters, the player at the centre of the storm has been less than central to Enfield's on-pitch efforts overall, this season. Tajbakhsh has made just 11 league appearances in total (he was, effectively, self-suspended for some games) and only one appearance since March. Nor does his roster of former clubs suggest he represents an injection of unprecedented stellar talent, worthy of draconian punishment by the powers-that-be (St. Albans, Barnet, Billericay, Braintree, Maidenhead, Farnborough, Harrow, Antalyaspor, Northwood). That, however, could be argued to be a largely "ecumenical matter". The ("Independent"?) press provides more details: http://www.enfieldindependent.co.uk/sport/12911865.Enfield_Town_found_guilty_of_fielding_ineligible_player/

Aryan Tajbakhsh (in white) in action for Town against Hendon.
Picture: Phil Davison

The situation is both very different from and very similar to the final day of LAST season; when Town went to Cray Wanderers still needing a win to be sure of avoiding relegation - see an earlier post on this blog page (April 2014). The excitement and defiance levels were similar; but the mood was not. The target of Enfield anger was very clear: the Football Association and their inept representatives. To the tune of "If You're Happy and You Know It", home fans boisterously sang "You can stick you're FA ruling up your Ars*!"

Town fans showing the F.A. their 'Red Cards' in a pre-match protest at the Association's asinine ineptitude ... and that's putting it nicely!

With such a defiant, black mood as a backdrop, it was easy to forget that already-relegated Witham would need to be despatched first, to secure 5th place, before any fully expected but entirely unwelcome court-room shenanigans could begin in earnest. The visiting club's crest features a resplendent, golden phoenix, rising from the ashes. Which is apt for a club who were disbanded during each World War. They have been demoted before; and, like an over-eager, amateur porn star, they had gone down early, before the cameras had even started rolling today. The club is, arguably, most famous as the footballing home of local lad Olly Murrs. Although, in two seasons with the Essex side, Murrs managed just three first team appearances, scoring once, before injury ended what his PR team might, otherwise, describe as the prospect of a glittering professional career. Poor Olly! What could he possibly try his hand at next, to try and amass an easy personal fortune, instead of playing professional football?

A season's best crowd of 763 (better than twice the size of Enfield's prior average home gate) had turned out in warm sunshine to see off the regular season in style. Kiddie's face-painting, a brass band and a shot at promotion are good for cash flow, it would seem. It was the league's second highest gate of the day, behind that achieved at Champions-elect Maidstone United; and it nudged Enfield Town's average home attendance for the entire season to JUST over the 400 mark. Which shows that the Towners have been punching just above their financial weight, given the largest attendances at 6 clubs above them. Nice! After their staged red card 'protest' and after a subsequent minute's silence in commemoration of the Bradford City Valley Parade fire, Enfield kicked off towards the A10 end; and were soon dominating a team who barely tried to even pretend that they were not the third-worst side in the league - and nearly 10 points shy of safety. Witham were simply very, very poor. There were only fifteen fans in the away end; but they had brought five flags with them; presumably to try and make themselves feel at home. "You've - Got - More Flags Than Fans". A better-followed away team would have nudged our average gate for the season upwards by at least a little.

It was soon clear why so few away fans had bothered to travel. Witham Town had probably spent most of the season playing spoiling tactics; and now, even with their fate already decided, could play no other way. They had not won since the 24th March (a mid-week home game in front of just 74 fans, against fellow strugglers Peacehaven & Telscombe - whose own relegation would be confirmed by results today) and had picked up only 2 points from the last 15 available. After the first ten minutes we could all see why. With limited attacking intent and very little poise on the ball, they were there for the taking; as were the three points, surely. Yet in one sense, at least, Enfield had no hope. No Liam Hope, that is. The club's record scorer had recently passed a personal milestone of 250 appearances for the club. In doing so, he became just the third player to achieve that status; but he has been increasingly struggling to earn a place in the starting line-up. After recent cameo roles as a late substitute, a starting appearance in a minor cup fixture last week was his first since January. Today, like "Macavity: The Mystery Cat", he was nowhere to be found; not even on the bench. Is the writing, then, finally on the wall for the loyal centre forward and former crowd favourite? If he were to leave the club in the close season, I just hope his documents transfer correctly, to avoid another administrative kerfuffle!

Corner flag 'porn': Towners' right-back, Lockie (in white, with ball) takes on Witham's defence, in early first-half action.

The early exchanges were so one-sided, it was difficult to imagine Witham posing any significant threat during the afternoon. Enfield dominated possession and territory so completely that in one early attack down the left, after 18 minutes, Bobby Devyne went easily around the away 'keeper ... twice ... seemingly at will and for fun! Now that's just showing off; especially when there is no end result, as in this case.

Devyne goes around Godwin-Green (no, it's the name of a player, NOT a village in Essex) for the first time. "Olé!"

Eventually, Enfield decided to give the visitors a sniff of a chance, just to make things a bit more interesting. An under-hit 'hospital' back-pass put Enfield 'keeper, McDonald, in trouble. He was alert; rushing out to clear the danger and, luckily, earning a rebound off the advancing striker for a goal-kick, when the ball could have gone just about anywhere. Normal service (and dominance) then resumed. It was only a matter of time, we hoped, before Town would get that all-important go-ahead goal. In the end, it took all of 30 minutes to break the deadlock.

Enfield #8, Nathan Livings, swings in an early corner.

The home side's #7, Tyler Campbell, was given far too much space (the freedom of the Borough, it seemed) as a ball rebounded towards him on the left, just outside the Witham penalty area. He quickly sized up the opportunity and struck an audacious and unexpected first-time, right-footed volley, across the visitors' goalie, Lewis Godwin-Green, and into the gaping right-hand side of the net, from over 20 yards out: 1-0; and no less than the home side richly deserved. There had not quite been enough time for play-off jitters to really start to manifest themselves. It was a worthy goal with which to secure a play-off place, potentially.

Campbell falls down "dead", to celebrate his goal; and is soon 'buried' under the hearty congratulations of his team mates.

The young referee was noticeably lacking in authority from an early stage of the game. He was clearly allowing too many robust and niggling challenges, particularly from the visiting side. Witham Town's captain, Paul King, in particular (no, not THAT Paul King, of 1980's pop fame)  

was starting to 'put himself about' a bit. A number of opportunities for the inexperienced referee to issue yellow cards and calm things down had already come and gone, unused. Almost inevitably, things came to a head just a minute after the goal. King made a series of uninterrupted "agricultural" challenges. Some high, some studs-showing, some just plain late - and all notably on Town's smaller players. With the ref STILL taking no action and waving play on, when he finally decided to blow his whistle belatedly for an Enfield free-kick, Towners CB & #4 Joe Ellul (no 'shrinking violet' himself) was already in the middle of a twenty-yard run to the half-way line to 'remonstrate' with his opposite number. An eight-man mêlée was already breaking out (entirely the referee's fault) when Ellul finally arrived on the scene. King went flying backwards as a result of the shove he received from the onrushing Enfield 'enforcer'. The ultimate outcome of the whole sorry incident was a foregone conclusion to everyone, from the moment the previously unmovable object was met by the unstoppable force. Obvious to everyone, that is, EXCEPT referee Dan Robathan; who took several minutes to consult with his assistants and gather his thoughts, trying desperately to think of a reason NOT to send off the player whose retribution would never had taken place, had he shown more back-bone himself dealing with the rogue skipper, in the first place. No reasons for a reprieve were to be found, however. Presumably a referees' adjudicator was in the stand, preventing any fudging of the issue. Ellul saw red. King, far too belatedly, saw yellow; to the accompaniment of a loud chorus of boos and the usual witty chanting about the referee's capability, eye-sight and parentage. Stormy Weather was brewing (see below).

Top: a home crowd. Bottom: an away 'crowd'. "More flags than fans!"

Play-off contenders Enfield would, then, be forced to play the remaining hour with just ten men. Not for the first time this season, it's true; but, given the atmosphere and warmth of the day, it would be an uphill struggle. To make matters worse, Witham reacted by immediately bringing on forward speedster, #12 Marcel Henry-Francis for midfielder Ryan Charles. Enfield's switch straight afterwards was more prosaic: replacement CB Ryan Doyle for sacrificed winger Michael Kalu. The formations and intentions of the two sides were set for the remainder of the game. Surprisingly, there was little immediate change in the pattern of play. Enfield continued to dominate territory and possession, despite their inferior numbers. One rare scare took place in the 43rd minute when a high yellow foot at the back post kicked Towners' LB, Ricky Gabriel, in the head. That was as close as the visitors would come to a goal in the first half. Despite all the delays and substitutions, Mr. Robathan added just 3 minutes extra before blowing for half-time and signalling the entertainment from the North London Brass Band. Strangely, the band failed to play the theme from "The Great Escape"; which might have been appropriate.

The second half carried on where the first had left off. Witham were agricultural in defence; and lacking wit in attack. Enfield barely seemed to miss their 11th man. Wise heads in the crowd observed that the final passages of play would be the hardest for the out-numbered home side, on this warm afternoon. Stranger still was Enfield's continued domination in attack. After 50 minutes, Devyne drove in a low cross from the left for CF Corey Whitely. Despite being fouled by two defenders simultaneously (see below) Whitely fought off their attentions and got his shot away -

almost scoring at the near post. It appeared to be just the reminder Witham had needed that they were still in a football match. They spent the next 5 minutes pressing forwards, into largely unfamiliar territory. This pressure culminated in a move wherein the visitors hit the under-side of the Enfield bar twice within two seconds, once with help from Town's agile 'keeper, McDonald. Enfield were riding their luck. It was, however, only a brief passage of Witham pressure. Minutes later, Enfield wrestled themselves back in charge of proceedings. 

First, see above, Whiteley broke powerfully down the right before cutting inside and shooting straight at Godwin-Green, just as Devyne was arriving (out of picture) unmarked in a better position, in the centre. In the next Enfield attack, it was Devyne who was guilty of wasting a great chance to extend the home side's lead; this time creeping prematurely offside and letting Witham off the hook. But this was a floundering Essex fish, just waiting to be landed; and in the thirteenth minute Campbell bagged his second goal of the game to put the under-strength home side 2-0 up. If you didn't count the shirts, you honestly wouldn't have known which was the side with only 10 men still left on the pitch.

Campbell is 'buried' yet again by Enfield's goal celebrations. Let the poor man breathe already, why don't you? 

Witham appeared to give up hopes of getting back on level terms. Six minutes after that second Campbell goal, the referee awarded a penalty against Witham for a deliberate handball just inside the area, blocking a goal-bound shot. Curiously, no card was flourished. perhaps because the away side, egged on by their controversial captain, were already questioning and challenging every decision that went Enfield's way. Some of these possibly WERE the ref's unintentional efforts to atone for his earlier culpability. Sub CB Ryan Doyle, a reliable, regular penalty taker, placed the ball and strode up confidently to stroke the ball hard and low towards the inner, right-hand corner of the net; only for it to be palmed away athletically by the Essex side's goalie.

Godwin-Green pays attention as Doyle strides in to strike, like a cobra. A dead cobra.

With the score still at 2-0, the remaining passages of play were notable mostly for their interruption by a procession of substitutions. In the 43rd minute, however, Enfield manager Bradley Quinton was guilty of inadvertently catching the ball in his technical area, apparently before it had gone fully out of play. The eagle-eyed and officious line official flagged wildly, as one of the loudest cheers of the afternoon rang out. An uncontested drop-ball broke up the dull proceedings, from which Enfield sportingly returned possession to their dirty, cheating, fouling opponents. "Paul King, Paul King - What's the Score? Paul King - What's the Score?" The public address system announced Enfield #8 Nathan Livings as the Man-of-the-Match; which came as a surprise to many. Presumably including two-goal hero Tyler Campbell. Perhaps the adjudicators believed him to be truly 'dead and buried' after those earlier celebrations; and, therefore, not worth wasting the award on. One assumes CB's Joe Ellul and Ryan Doyle were NOT in the mix for this accolade. The home side's players were, unsurprisingly, tiring in the final stages, as predicted; but they held out easily against one of the league's worst sides. "We're by faaarr the grey - test team - the League has ever seen!"

At the final whistle, it was as though Town had already secured promotion, rather than just a potentially contested play-off place. Celebrations filled all the home areas and the players processed along the home end shaking hands and receiving back-slapping compliments in good spirit (see below). Enfield had finished 5th; just one goal's GD behind Dulwich Hamlet; but would they be allowed to keep the play-off place had worked so tirelessly to earn?

Even injured club skipper, "Super Captain Kirby", got in on the party  action (below, centre), as did the somewhat more sheepish - though for differing reasons - Joe Ellul and Ryan Doyle (NOT pictured!).

Goalkeeper Nathan McDonald had kept Enfield out of serious trouble yet again, for the umpteenth time this season; and, duly, was particularly warmly received (centre, below).

Although, as previously explained, Liam Hope "WASN'T THERE", Brad Quinton WAS. Doing his very own impression of Macavity the mastermind, he gathered his players for a final, regular-season debrief on the pitch, in the well-mocked style of former Hull City manager, Phil Brown. With apologies to T. S. Eliot - and you don't often read that phrase in a football 'article':

"And they say that all the players whose wicked deeds are widely known

(I might mention Ryan Doyle, I might mention Joe Ellul)

Are nothing more than agents for the Man who all the time

Just controls their operations: the Napoleon of Crime!
(replace "Crime" with "Enfield")"

Napoleon not-Solo. Above: Brad Quinton distractedly accepts warm praise from the appreciative crowd before (below) gathering his troops for a campaign debrief and some team photo's. The Junior Towners have other ideas, however.

And now it's back to that pesky maths revision. What are the odds of the F.A. imposing a points deduction? What are the chances of Enfield Town legally contesting this and making the play-offs after ... errm, making the play-offs? Assuming no interference 'from above', what is the likelihood that Enfield will emerge from the four play-off sides victorious, to advance into the Conference South? All these questions can only be answered in the coming days and weeks. One hopeful sign, at least, is that Enfield now sit 4th in the Ryman Premier League form table (based on the last six games, home and away); which puts them well ahead of all three other teams in those coveted (though possibly yet to be disputed) play-off places.

The Pitchero non-league website currently carries the following story, posted 2 hours before this blog, on Sunday 26th: (http://nonleague.pitchero.com/news/ryman-premier-in-limbo-38859/)

Ryman Premier In Limbo
"Ryman Premier Division play-off matches cannot be confirmed at this time. The league will now refer the matter to the Football Association because ... The Ryman League itself is not empowered to make such a decision. The Ryman League will continue to work with Enfield Town and the FA to resolve these issues as soon possible. The league will issue a further statement in due course following consultation with the FA." The club board's letter to fans on the matter is copied below (left).

Well done, then, The Football Association. Here's another nice mess you've gotten us into! Achieving what, previously, pretty much only World Wars have been known to manage: a footballing 'limbo'. Rest assured, sports fans, if there is any further action down at Donkey Lane this season, "WE" will be there to report it. Come On, You Towners!