Sunday 26 April 2015

"Sweet" FA: Last Day Blues for Ten-Man Enfield?

Enfield Town versus Witham Town
Ryman League Premier Division
Saturday 25th April, 2015 – 3pm kick-off

Regardless of matters off the pitch, Enfield Town went into their final game of the season intent on putting issues of FA disorganisation and malfeasance firmly behind them. The programme notes made it clear: we play to win; and we will sort out the legal mess (if it comes to that) later. Brad Quinton's players were in no mood to make things easy for the F.A., by failing to win and by not maintaining their current position in the final play-off place.
FA-ffing about since 1863.

The club is committed to a formal appeal, should the F**king A**eholes decide to deduct points from Town's end-of-season tally. Enfield fans have been presented with an open-and-shut case by the club's board regarding the latest disciplinary farce, which came to a head at short notice this week. Enfield were advised, clearly and in writing, earlier in the season, after drawing to the attention of the F.A. some unexpected 'irregularities' in a transferred player's paperwork, that no action would be taken against the club. The administrative errors in question had been made exclusively by other parties (i.e. other clubs and the F.A. themselves) over the transfer of player records. The selection of the new squad member by Enfield had been in unavoidable ignorance, due to the inaccurate transfer of records from a different league. It was only later identified, by Enfield Town themselves, with no help from administartors at the league or in the F.A., that Aryan Tajbakhsh should have been serving a suspension at the time of his transfer. Town notified the F.A. and, by agreement, ensured the player missed the appropriate number of following games; they were just the 'wrong' specific games, a mis-match driven by the FA's own incompetence. It was an issue of which the club had been ignorant through no fault of their own; and a matter throughout which they had conducted themselves in the best, most appropriate and professional manner. The F.A. has since made a 180-degree about-turn on that original stance of no culpability and no punishment for Enfield Town; for reasons best (and, perhaps, only) known to themselves; but, as well as being a family club, Enfield is also a fighting club - in so many senses. Formed and founded in adversity, this is a 'phoenix' club which has arisen form the ashes of other, infamous administrative irregularities. Enfield Town is "the country's first supporter-owned football club"; and not the sort of outfit likely to go away quietly and meekly to accept an "unfair" and inconsistent punishment. The specific sentence to be imposed has yet to be confirmed; perhaps giving the F.A. at least a little 'wiggle room'. They will need it!


As so often seems to be the case in such matters, the player at the centre of the storm has been less than central to Enfield's on-pitch efforts overall, this season. Tajbakhsh has made just 11 league appearances in total (he was, effectively, self-suspended for some games) and only one appearance since March. Nor does his roster of former clubs suggest he represents an injection of unprecedented stellar talent, worthy of draconian punishment by the powers-that-be (St. Albans, Barnet, Billericay, Braintree, Maidenhead, Farnborough, Harrow, Antalyaspor, Northwood). That, however, could be argued to be a largely "ecumenical matter". The ("Independent"?) press provides more details: http://www.enfieldindependent.co.uk/sport/12911865.Enfield_Town_found_guilty_of_fielding_ineligible_player/
Aryan Tajbakhsh in action for Enfield Town against Hendon. Picture: Phil Davison
Aryan Tajbakhsh (in white) in action for Town against Hendon.
Picture: Phil Davison


The situation is both very different from and very similar to the final day of LAST season; when Town went to Cray Wanderers still needing a win to be sure of avoiding relegation - see an earlier post on this blog page (April 2014). The excitement and defiance levels were similar; but the mood was not. The target of Enfield anger was very clear: the Football Association and their inept representatives. To the tune of "If You're Happy and You Know It", home fans boisterously sang "You can stick you're FA ruling up your Ars*!"
Town fans showing the F.A. their 'Red Cards' in a pre-match protest at the Association's asinine ineptitude ... and that's putting it nicely!

With such a defiant, black mood as a backdrop, it was easy to forget that already-relegated Witham would need to be despatched first, to secure 5th place, before any fully expected but entirely unwelcome court-room shenanigans could begin in earnest. The visiting club's crest features a resplendent, golden phoenix, rising from the ashes. Which is apt for a club who were disbanded during each World War. They have been demoted before; and, like an over-eager, amateur porn star, they had gone down early, before the cameras had even started rolling today. The club is, arguably, most famous as the footballing home of local lad Olly Murrs. Although, in two seasons with the Essex side, Murrs managed just three first team appearances, scoring once, before injury ended what his PR team might, otherwise, describe as the prospect of a glittering professional career. Poor Olly! What could he possibly try his hand at next, to try and amass an easy personal fortune, instead of playing professional football?
Witham Town Football Club

A season's best crowd of 763 (better than twice the size of Enfield's prior average home gate) had turned out in warm sunshine to see off the regular season in style. Kiddie's face-painting, a brass band and a shot at promotion are good for cash flow, it would seem. It was the league's second highest gate of the day, behind that achieved at Champions-elect Maidstone United; and it nudged Enfield Town's average home attendance for the entire season to JUST over the 400 mark. Which shows that the Towners have been punching just above their financial weight, given the largest attendances at 6 clubs above them. Nice! After their staged red card 'protest' and after a subsequent minute's silence in commemoration of the Bradford City Valley Parade fire, Enfield kicked off towards the A10 end; and were soon dominating a team who barely tried to even pretend that they were not the third-worst side in the league - and nearly 10 points shy of safety. Witham were simply very, very poor. There were only fifteen fans in the away end; but they had brought five flags with them; presumably to try and make themselves feel at home. "You've - Got - More Flags Than Fans". A better-followed away team would have nudged our average gate for the season upwards by at least a little.

It was soon clear why so few away fans had bothered to travel. Witham Town had probably spent most of the season playing spoiling tactics; and now, even with their fate already decided, could play no other way. They had not won since the 24th March (a mid-week home game in front of just 74 fans, against fellow strugglers Peacehaven & Telscombe - whose own relegation would be confirmed by results today) and had picked up only 2 points from the last 15 available. After the first ten minutes we could all see why. With limited attacking intent and very little poise on the ball, they were there for the taking; as were the three points, surely. Yet in one sense, at least, Enfield had no hope. No Liam Hope, that is. The club's record scorer had recently passed a personal milestone of 250 appearances for the club. In doing so, he became just the third player to achieve that status; but he has been increasingly struggling to earn a place in the starting line-up. After recent cameo roles as a late substitute, a starting appearance in a minor cup fixture last week was his first since January. Today, like "Macavity: The Mystery Cat", he was nowhere to be found; not even on the bench. Is the writing, then, finally on the wall for the loyal centre forward and former crowd favourite? If he were to leave the club in the close season, I just hope his documents transfer correctly, to avoid another administrative kerfuffle!
Corner flag 'porn': Towners' right-back, Lockie (in white, with ball) takes on Witham's defence, in early first-half action.

The early exchanges were so one-sided, it was difficult to imagine Witham posing any significant threat during the afternoon. Enfield dominated possession and territory so completely that in one early attack down the left, after 18 minutes, Bobby Devyne went easily around the away 'keeper ... twice ... seemingly at will and for fun! Now that's just showing off; especially when there is no end result, as in this case.

Devyne goes around Godwin-Green (no, it's the name of a player, NOT a village in Essex) for the first time. "Olé!"

Eventually, Enfield decided to give the visitors a sniff of a chance, just to make things a bit more interesting. An under-hit 'hospital' back-pass put Enfield 'keeper, McDonald, in trouble. He was alert; rushing out to clear the danger and, luckily, earning a rebound off the advancing striker for a goal-kick, when the ball could have gone just about anywhere. Normal service (and dominance) then resumed. It was only a matter of time, we hoped, before Town would get that all-important go-ahead goal. In the end, it took all of 30 minutes to break the deadlock.

Enfield #8, Nathan Livings, swings in an early corner.

The home side's #7, Tyler Campbell, was given far too much space (the freedom of the Borough, it seemed) as a ball rebounded towards him on the left, just outside the Witham penalty area. He quickly sized up the opportunity and struck an audacious and unexpected first-time, right-footed volley, across the visitors' goalie, Lewis Godwin-Green, and into the gaping right-hand side of the net, from over 20 yards out: 1-0; and no less than the home side richly deserved. There had not quite been enough time for play-off jitters to really start to manifest themselves. It was a worthy goal with which to secure a play-off place, potentially.
Campbell falls down "dead", to celebrate his goal; and is soon 'buried' under the hearty congratulations of his team mates.

The young referee was noticeably lacking in authority from an early stage of the game. He was clearly allowing too many robust and niggling challenges, particularly from the visiting side. Witham Town's captain, Paul King, in particular (no, not THAT Paul King, of 1980's pop fame)  
was starting to 'put himself about' a bit. A number of opportunities for the inexperienced referee to issue yellow cards and calm things down had already come and gone, unused. Almost inevitably, things came to a head just a minute after the goal. King made a series of uninterrupted "agricultural" challenges. Some high, some studs-showing, some just plain late - and all notably on Town's smaller players. With the ref STILL taking no action and waving play on, when he finally decided to blow his whistle belatedly for an Enfield free-kick, Towners CB & #4 Joe Ellul (no 'shrinking violet' himself) was already in the middle of a twenty-yard run to the half-way line to 'remonstrate' with his opposite number. An eight-man mêlée was already breaking out (entirely the referee's fault) when Ellul finally arrived on the scene. King went flying backwards as a result of the shove he received from the onrushing Enfield 'enforcer'. The ultimate outcome of the whole sorry incident was a foregone conclusion to everyone, from the moment the previously unmovable object was met by the unstoppable force. Obvious to everyone, that is, EXCEPT referee Dan Robathan; who took several minutes to consult with his assistants and gather his thoughts, trying desperately to think of a reason NOT to send off the player whose retribution would never had taken place, had he shown more back-bone himself dealing with the rogue skipper, in the first place. No reasons for a reprieve were to be found, however. Presumably a referees' adjudicator was in the stand, preventing any fudging of the issue. Ellul saw red. King, far too belatedly, saw yellow; to the accompaniment of a loud chorus of boos and the usual witty chanting about the referee's capability, eye-sight and parentage. Stormy Weather was brewing (see below).
Top: a home crowd. Bottom: an away 'crowd'. "More flags than fans!"

Play-off contenders Enfield would, then, be forced to play the remaining hour with just ten men. Not for the first time this season, it's true; but, given the atmosphere and warmth of the day, it would be an uphill struggle. To make matters worse, Witham reacted by immediately bringing on forward speedster, #12 Marcel Henry-Francis for midfielder Ryan Charles. Enfield's switch straight afterwards was more prosaic: replacement CB Ryan Doyle for sacrificed winger Michael Kalu. The formations and intentions of the two sides were set for the remainder of the game. Surprisingly, there was little immediate change in the pattern of play. Enfield continued to dominate territory and possession, despite their inferior numbers. One rare scare took place in the 43rd minute when a high yellow foot at the back post kicked Towners' LB, Ricky Gabriel, in the head. That was as close as the visitors would come to a goal in the first half. Despite all the delays and substitutions, Mr. Robathan added just 3 minutes extra before blowing for half-time and signalling the entertainment from the North London Brass Band. Strangely, the band failed to play the theme from "The Great Escape"; which might have been appropriate.

The second half carried on where the first had left off. Witham were agricultural in defence; and lacking wit in attack. Enfield barely seemed to miss their 11th man. Wise heads in the crowd observed that the final passages of play would be the hardest for the out-numbered home side, on this warm afternoon. Stranger still was Enfield's continued domination in attack. After 50 minutes, Devyne drove in a low cross from the left for CF Corey Whitely. Despite being fouled by two defenders simultaneously (see below) Whitely fought off their attentions and got his shot away -
almost scoring at the near post. It appeared to be just the reminder Witham had needed that they were still in a football match. They spent the next 5 minutes pressing forwards, into largely unfamiliar territory. This pressure culminated in a move wherein the visitors hit the under-side of the Enfield bar twice within two seconds, once with help from Town's agile 'keeper, McDonald. Enfield were riding their luck. It was, however, only a brief passage of Witham pressure. Minutes later, Enfield wrestled themselves back in charge of proceedings. 
First, see above, Whiteley broke powerfully down the right before cutting inside and shooting straight at Godwin-Green, just as Devyne was arriving (out of picture) unmarked in a better position, in the centre. In the next Enfield attack, it was Devyne who was guilty of wasting a great chance to extend the home side's lead; this time creeping prematurely offside and letting Witham off the hook. But this was a floundering Essex fish, just waiting to be landed; and in the thirteenth minute Campbell bagged his second goal of the game to put the under-strength home side 2-0 up. If you didn't count the shirts, you honestly wouldn't have known which was the side with only 10 men still left on the pitch.
Campbell is 'buried' yet again by Enfield's goal celebrations. Let the poor man breathe already, why don't you? 

Witham appeared to give up hopes of getting back on level terms. Six minutes after that second Campbell goal, the referee awarded a penalty against Witham for a deliberate handball just inside the area, blocking a goal-bound shot. Curiously, no card was flourished. perhaps because the away side, egged on by their controversial captain, were already questioning and challenging every decision that went Enfield's way. Some of these possibly WERE the ref's unintentional efforts to atone for his earlier culpability. Sub CB Ryan Doyle, a reliable, regular penalty taker, placed the ball and strode up confidently to stroke the ball hard and low towards the inner, right-hand corner of the net; only for it to be palmed away athletically by the Essex side's goalie.
Godwin-Green pays attention as Doyle strides in to strike, like a cobra. A dead cobra.

With the score still at 2-0, the remaining passages of play were notable mostly for their interruption by a procession of substitutions. In the 43rd minute, however, Enfield manager Bradley Quinton was guilty of inadvertently catching the ball in his technical area, apparently before it had gone fully out of play. The eagle-eyed and officious line official flagged wildly, as one of the loudest cheers of the afternoon rang out. An uncontested drop-ball broke up the dull proceedings, from which Enfield sportingly returned possession to their dirty, cheating, fouling opponents. "Paul King, Paul King - What's the Score? Paul King - What's the Score?" The public address system announced Enfield #8 Nathan Livings as the Man-of-the-Match; which came as a surprise to many. Presumably including two-goal hero Tyler Campbell. Perhaps the adjudicators believed him to be truly 'dead and buried' after those earlier celebrations; and, therefore, not worth wasting the award on. One assumes CB's Joe Ellul and Ryan Doyle were NOT in the mix for this accolade. The home side's players were, unsurprisingly, tiring in the final stages, as predicted; but they held out easily against one of the league's worst sides. "We're by faaarr the grey - test team - the League has ever seen!"

At the final whistle, it was as though Town had already secured promotion, rather than just a potentially contested play-off place. Celebrations filled all the home areas and the players processed along the home end shaking hands and receiving back-slapping compliments in good spirit (see below). Enfield had finished 5th; just one goal's GD behind Dulwich Hamlet; but would they be allowed to keep the play-off place had worked so tirelessly to earn?
Even injured club skipper, "Super Captain Kirby", got in on the party  action (below, centre), as did the somewhat more sheepish - though for differing reasons - Joe Ellul and Ryan Doyle (NOT pictured!).
Goalkeeper Nathan McDonald had kept Enfield out of serious trouble yet again, for the umpteenth time this season; and, duly, was particularly warmly received (centre, below).

Although, as previously explained, Liam Hope "WASN'T THERE", Brad Quinton WAS. Doing his very own impression of Macavity the mastermind, he gathered his players for a final, regular-season debrief on the pitch, in the well-mocked style of former Hull City manager, Phil Brown. With apologies to T. S. Eliot - and you don't often read that phrase in a football 'article':
"And they say that all the players whose wicked deeds are widely known
(I might mention Ryan Doyle, I might mention Joe Ellul)
Are nothing more than agents for the Man who all the time
Just controls their operations: the Napoleon of Crime!
(replace "Crime" with "Enfield")"
Napoleon not-Solo. Above: Brad Quinton distractedly accepts warm praise from the appreciative crowd before (below) gathering his troops for a campaign debrief and some team photo's. The Junior Towners have other ideas, however.


And now it's back to that pesky maths revision. What are the odds of the F.A. imposing a points deduction? What are the chances of Enfield Town legally contesting this and making the play-offs after ... errm, making the play-offs? Assuming no interference 'from above', what is the likelihood that Enfield will emerge from the four play-off sides victorious, to advance into the Conference South? All these questions can only be answered in the coming days and weeks. One hopeful sign, at least, is that Enfield now sit 4th in the Ryman Premier League form table (based on the last six games, home and away); which puts them well ahead of all three other teams in those coveted (though possibly yet to be disputed) play-off places.


The Pitchero non-league website currently carries the following story, posted 2 hours before this blog, on Sunday 26th: (http://nonleague.pitchero.com/news/ryman-premier-in-limbo-38859/)

Ryman Premier In Limbo
"Ryman Premier Division play-off matches cannot be confirmed at this time. The league will now refer the matter to the Football Association because ... The Ryman League itself is not empowered to make such a decision. 
The Ryman League will continue to work with Enfield Town and the FA to resolve these issues as soon possible. The league will issue a further statement in due course following consultation with the FA." The club board's letter to fans on the matter is copied below (left).

Well done, then, The Football Association. Here's another nice mess you've gotten us into! Achieving what, previously, pretty much only World Wars have been known to manage: a footballing 'limbo'. Rest assured, sports fans, if there is any further action down at Donkey Lane this season, "WE" will be there to report it. Come On, You Towners!


Saturday 25 April 2015

A Maths Test ... AND an F.A. Investigation

East Thurrock United F.C. vs. Enfield Town F.C. 
Ryman League Premier Division
Saturday 18th April, 2015 – 3pm kick-off
Venue: Rookery Hill, Corringham, Essex SS17 9LB


It's match day! The final match day of the regular season. I write this on Saturday morning (the 25th). Last week we covered part of the alphabet. This week we'll be doing some remedial maths. You can probably sense that we're heading towards exam revision season ... or the tail end of the football season. Some readers may already be aware of the recent administrative trail of events that has embroiled the club; and we'll visit the details of this later; but first, let us catch up with all the news that's fit to print about last weekend's all-important game, down on the glorious, sunny Thames Riviera. I have to admit this match report is somewhat more delayed (again) than I would have liked; but, then again, that's given me the chance to include news of Enfield Town's FA investigation "scandal". First up, though, it's last week's penultimate game of the season; with play-off hopes hanging in the balance.

Image result for East Thurrock United F.C.   

Corringham: if that name conjures up 'seasons of mellow fruitfulness' for any readers, you've obviously never been there. It is thought to originate from the name of a Saxon chieftain named Curra. The ‘ing’, refers to his followers, and ‘ham’ means his ‘home’. The parish church's name (St. Mary the Virgin) prompts plenty of nudges, winks and inappropriate jokes about the chastity of the local women-folk and of Essex Girls in general. On a more cultured note, however, according to Wiki, the south wall of the church contains examples of Saxon herringbone stonework in both the nave and the chancel; and there are other Saxon features inside the church. The tower is also likely to be Saxon. A perfect setting, perhaps, for Enfield to come marauding, then; in the hope of pillaging the place - and looting three more points towards their hopes of an end-of-season play-off berth.

Before kick-off, there was one Rocks player for whom Enfield knew they definitely need to watch out. That was Thurrock's CF, #9 Sam Higgins With 32 goals already, he went into the game as the Ryman Premier League's top scorer by far. With exactly TWICE the total of Enfield's own best sharp-shooter, Corey Whitely.
   
Local views: the parish church of St. Mary the Virgin retains vestiges of its Saxon origins; DP World London Gateway Port does NOT.

A crowd of 344 was well ahead of The Rocks average, so far this season (216). Even so this number, swelled as it was by a large contingent of "Enfield Boys - Making ALL the Noise", as their singing soon reminded the locals, formed only the 6th-largest gate of the day in the Ryman Premier League. "Whaaaat's - It Like - to See - A Crowd?" they asked, to the melody of "Bread of Heaven". A party atmosphere prevailed in the away end to accompany the warm afternoon sunshine, as the visitors started the game kicking towards the Northern end of the Rookery Hill ground. A "boisterous" away crowd, fuelled by something more than the fine weather, were, indeed, making ALL the noise. A round trip of just over 70 miles, coupled with good weather and a crack at the play-off places had proved conducive to a strong turn-out; and all the club's familiar faces were there in the bright, Spring daylight.
Enfield's loyal following. "On the Road" in a way Jack Kerouac would probably NOT have recognised: flags, drums, beers and all.


In the early exchanges, Enfield's 'keeper, Nathan McDonald, was by far the busier of the two guardians. In a sustained period of early Thurrock pressure, he made a string of excellent saves, blocks and gathers. His best effort was a low, stretching save in the 2nd minute to thwart an early and dangerous-looking Thurrock break, ending in a fine shot from Lewis Smith. After these early concerns, Enfield settled into their stride and started to impose some control on the game; finally looking the better side and building their dominance of both territory and possession. The pitch was not good, even 'for this level'. Bobbles and unexpected bounces abounded; frustrating players and fans alike.
 
Top: Town's #10, Bobby Devyne lines up a shot that will be saved well by Thurrock's increasingly under-pressure David Hughes. Bottom: Hughes gathers gratefully (and awkwardly!) yet again!



In the 36th minute, against the run of play, the home side attacked from the right. A dangerous ball across Enfield's goalmouth evaded all. Just a few minutes later Thurrock proved their potency on the break. McDonald produced a fine snap-save from a well-worked cross and downward header. From the ensuing scramble, the ball somehow ended up in the Enfield net; but, to sighs of Enfield gratitude, the goal was disallowed. "You - Thought - You had scored ... So did we - so did wee-ee!" The relief was palpable. McDonald had to move early in the 41st minute, to smother another Thurrock attack on the edge of his area. By the end of the first half, it was 2-1 ... in the yellow cards count, to The Rocks. They were lucky to have collected so few: "Same - Old Ess-Ex; All-Ways Chee-ting!". The referee allowed just one extra minute, despite these - and many other - stoppages.

Enfield attack down their right, in front of elegant Saxon portacabins.

The salubrious surroundings of Saxon Stanford-le-Hope provided no public address system and, therefore, no half-time music. A blessed relief for some. Feverish checks on 'phones amongst the away fans reassured them that half-time scores elsewhere meant things were not (yet!) going against them. Town remained in a play-off place; but would desperately seek an opener.


The second half saw a change of ends and, eventually, a change of fortunes. Just three minutes into the half, Enfield #7 Livings played through #11 Campbell; but his effort flew low, wide and left, across from right of goal. Brad Quinton had done his talking in the changing room; and his players were going all-out. Town's pressure in attack was relentless. After 50 minutes Enfield finally had the ball in the net. Town's #5, Joe Ellul headed in a Livings corner; followed by Town fans' groans, again. This time it was Enfield who were incredulous, as the referee refused to allow the scoreboard to tick over from its stubborn initial position, showing 0-0. There was a supposed foul on the home 'keeper; but no-one wearing Enfield glasses had seen it, of course. The referee earned no more Enfield friends when he missed the most glaring of Thurrock handballs in the next minute. The bobbly surface was bad enough; but now a number of Enfield players started slipping over on the surface. Perhaps they had opted for small studs on a fine, dry day; but the result was a number of breakdowns in attack and worries at the back.

A Jordan Lockie snap shot from the edge of Thurrock's area went across goal from the left, with power after 53 minutes; and away fans must have been starting to wonder if there would be any goals in this game. In the 57th minute, Devyne crossed, Hughes flapped at the ball and it fell invitingly for ... absolutely nobody!. The hosts were riding their luck; largely penned back into their own half. Soon after, Devyne headed over, under pressure from Hughes. Campbell was obstructed in a dangerous position; but the set-piece chance was wasted by Whitely. There followed even more intense Enfield pressure, as they searched for that all-important opening goal. One rare attack at the other end saw a Thurrock free-kick struck firmly into the defensive wall. Rocks substitute Bryant collected the loose ball, before diving theatrically to ground, leading to an inevitable yellow card for 'simulation'. After 72 minutes Whitely's dangerous pass was turned goal-wards by Bobby Devyne, and Rocks #3 Tom Stephen got the final touch off his knee and past the despairing touch of goalkeeper Hughes. No referee intervention saves Thurrock this time: 0-1.
Celebrations at last! The relief is clear.

Five minutes later Hughes had to be on his mettle and 'out early' to smother another effort from Whitely, as Enfield continued to apply most of the pressure. Brad Quinton kept up a constant chorus of advice and support from the touchline near his dug-out: "Right foot; right foot ...when we ain't got the ball, get yourself inside and make a three, like this (hand gesture) ...Hooks; hooks - good boy!" But it wouldn't be a typical Enfield Town performance without some heart in mouth moments, would it?
 It's a lonely place, being a non-league club manager.

So, despite all Brad's helpful(?) coaching, Town gave the ball away sloppily in the 80th minute, at the back. David Bryant scampered gratefully clear with the ball, into the Enfield box, where Ricky Gabriel had no option but to haul him down in the box. A penalty; but, fortunately, the referee "bottled it" on the obvious last-player red card conclusion to the affair. The league's top scorer duly stepped forward, placed the ball carefully and then struck it right-footed (and even MORE carefully) in off the right-hand upright. A perfectly struck goal, resulting in an imperfect scoreline for Enfield fans: 1-1; but there was even worse to come.
Sam Higgins (partly obscured in centre) sends McDonald the wrong way and the ball in off the post to level the scores. A 'perfect' penalty kick!

Having already 'taken one for the team', in the 86th minute Gabriel,picked up a second yellow card for what the Town website would later describe as "a relatively innocuous contact with Witherspoon ... one of many inconsistent decisions by referee Hillier," Ain't that the truth?! No change from the norm. In those last few, dangerous minutes, Thurrock exploited the extra space created by their 'extra' man; but Enfield held firm for the final whistle and a point. A quick dash for the 'phones showed that one point was enough. Or was it ... ?
Space on the touchline late-on, as Thurrock play fast and loose with Town fans' heart-strings.

Given this and other results, we move on to the interesting maths:
Enfield sit in 5th place; the final play-off spot. One point and one place behind them, with a +8 superior goal difference are the Metropolitan Police. Two points and two places behind them (with a -1 inferior GD) lie Grays Athletic. Everything lies in Town's own hands, heading into the final day of the regular season. A win (against already-relegated Wtham Town) puts them into the play-offs. Even a draw MIGHT be enough; but that's unlikely, since Met Police host already-relegated Hornchurch. Grays need an away win at (correction from earlier details)) mid-table Kingstonian PLUS a(n unlikely?) defeat for Enfield and no more than a point for Met Police. There is little to choose between the three hopeful sides, in terms of recent form.

Assuming Enfield were successful, they face another test of their maths; as four teams head into the play-offs, each with a theoretical 4-1 chance of securing promotion. Although Town have the second-best recent form record, narrowly behind Hendon. Come On, You Towners!

And that, as they say, might have been that; but for some shock news from Football Association Towers. In a statement released yesterday on the club's home page they dropped the following bombshell:

"The Club and its player Aryan Tajbakhsh have been charged by the FA for playing 2 games whilst ineligible through suspension. The charges arise from games initially played by Aryan on his joining the Club. The Club through its own due diligence identified that Aryan’s former Clubs had not correctly reported his personal details when informing the FA of bookings incurred.  The Club immediately informed the FA in January 2015 of the discrepancies and were told to not play the player in the next 2 matches and followed that advice. The Club were also informed that no further action would be taken against it... also notified by the FA to the Ryman League on 17th February 2015.

It was therefore disappointing to hear on Monday that the Club had been summoned to a hearing on Wednesday concerning the offence of playing the player whilst ineligible. Despite the late notice officers of the Club attended the hearing.

Despite the FA recognising:
The Club (its officials and manager), had acted properly in carrying out the necessary checks;
It had identified and highlighted the issue to the FA immediately;
That the FA's own inadequate record system had led to this situation arising;
The decision of the Panel was to find both Club and Player guilty. There was no other penalty or costs awarded against the Club. The ramifications of this decision are yet to be decided. However it is likely under the Ryman League rules we will be deducted 3 points".

The maths has all, suddenly, changed. Off come the shoe and socks. I am writing up this piece on Saturday morning (25/4) ahead of Town's final game of the 'regular' season. There is a drizzle of gentle rain moistening the streets, pavements and sports fields of Enfield. I can only hope that comes as a gentle reminder to the FA panel who will, ultimately, decide the fate of The Towners' season from their Court of Justice:

"The quality of mercy is not strain'd,
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath: it is twice blest;
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes"

Portia's speech in Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice. 

Act IV, Scene 1; set in a Venetian Court of Justice.

... failing which, there WILL be an appeal by the club!

East Thurrock United: David Hughes, Ryan Sammons (Simon Peddie 73), Tom Stephen, Ben Wood, Paul Goodacre, Nicky Symons, Mitchell Gilbey (David Bryant 65), Connor Witherspoon , Sam Higgins, Kye Ruel (Ellis Brown 80), 11 Lewis Smith. Booked: Witherspoon, Gilbey, Ruel. Unused subs: Joe Paxman, Ellis Brown.

Enfield Town: Nathan McDonald, Jordan Lockie, Ricky Gabriel, Claudiu Vilcu, Joe Ellul, Stanley Muguo, Nathan Livings, Ryan Doyle (Dernell Wynter 70), Corey Whitely, Bobby Devyne (Michael Kalu 86), Tyler Campbell. Liam Hope, Phil Kane. Booked: Livings, Gabriel. Sent off: Gabriel.

Attendance: 344.

Friday 17 April 2015

A Footballing Alphabet: from Urchins, Victory, Winning, eXcitement and Yearning ... to Zombies

Enfield Town versus AFC Hornchurch
Ryman League Premier Division
Saturday 11th April, 2015 – 3pm kick-off

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a football club in possession of a good points tally and pursuing a play-off place, must be in want of end-of-season fixtures against teams fighting tooth-and -nail for their very league survival".

 With apologies to Jane Austen and common sense.

Although it really IS a truth universally acknowledged amongst superstitious football fans that, when your football team is still in with the chance of a play-off place (or a title, or a Champions League place, or avoiding relegation), you probably WILL see them having to play their final games of the season against opponents desperate for a win of their own, or with something to prove. You just don't want or need to find them up against flesh-eating zombies; those doomed teams who simply don't yet know that they're already, in fact, 'dead and buried'. The ideal opposition, as a matter of fact, would be sitting in mid-table obscurity, with no local rivalries or grudges to settle. So it was typically “Enfield-ish” that The Towners’ three final league fixtures of the season would, of course, have to be against AFC Hornchurch, East Thurrock United and Witham Town; whose own fans were probably also thinking something similar but different about Enfield Town. Before Saturday’s games, Hornchurch were second-from-bottom, needing to secure an away win to keep alive any realistic hopes of avoiding relegation. On the final day of the season, Enfield will ‘entertain’ Witham, who are currently third-from-bottom and in similar, dire straits and with an equal need for late-season points.
One ticket for some very welcome "Adult" entertainment?

Two key themes of the week would be Horror and Nostalgia. In between these two 'crunch' games against bottom-feeders, Town will also visit “The Rocks” next Saturday, who are one of our bogey sides in the Ryman Premier League, who might still be in with a play-off ‘shout’ of their own – and who, spookily, also play under the acronym of “ETFC”. Although I bet they don't have such fine match tickets as us - featuring a café and some lamp posts, in tasteful shades of the club's colours! It will be my first visit to the poetically-named Rookery Hill, Corringham, next week. And, as if all that eXcitement weren't enough already, we squeeze in a mid-week, Middlesex FA Charity Cup Semi-Final fixture against Cockfosters. "The Fosters", not to be confused with that late seventies London Weekend TV 'comedy' show featuring Norman Beaton and a young Lenny Henry (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpQlKyCNxmA) play their home games opposite the ‘tube’ station, once made famous, briefly, in the early '80's by a Paul Hogan UK TV advert (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSOR2jGv2uc) for Fosters Beer . A distant echo from an era when Australian lager was, incorrectly, adjudged to be 'cool'. Cock Fosters currently play their league football in the 9th English tier, two levels below Enfield – in the Spartan South Midlands Football League). So a cup upset probably beckons, then.
"Strewth ... funny question!"

Back to the future now, though, like 1985's Marty McFly. Forwards 30 years, in fact, to 2015; and the more important and less 'amber' stuff of the moment. Although East Thurrock do play in fetching golden shirts. Saturday’s visitors were one of the few sides Enfield have faced in the league who are, technically, an even younger club than “we” are. A.F.C. Hornchurch was formed in 2005, after Hornchurch Football Club suffered financial problems and was closed down. In truth, the club’s history goes back to 1923, when the team were first formed as ‘Upminster Wanderers’. Despite the extreme youthfulness of the current Hornchurch club, they were playing Conference South football as recently as 2012-’13; although relegation followed their first season in that flight - and worse might yet follow this season for “The Urchins” of Upminster, if their Donkey Lane performance was not enough to overcome North London's finest and the weekend's outcome for them was less than positive. Omens for the home side were not the best, though. Enfield had lost two of their last four games, after a run of four previous straight wins. 'On paper', however, Hornchurch didn’t look much like party-poopers: having themselves earned just a single point from their last six games. That wasn’t a statistic destined, however, to steady jittery play-off nerves very much in North London. A glimpse at The Urchins’ fixtures and results web page revealed that they had held even the mighty West Ham United to a 2-2 draw in their first pre-season game, way back in July. OK, so that was only a friendly, admittedly; and it was only against a “West Ham Utd XI”; and it was only played on a Hammers’ training pitch … but I could see the (almost inevitable?) writing on the QEII stadium wall already!

Enfield, in white, kicking left-to-right in the 1st half, towards the mighty A10.

The game kicked off in typical English April weather. Warm sunshine bathed the stands, although the cooling influence of a broadly Norther-Easterly cross-wind was with Enfield, as they attacked the A10 end of the ground under light, scudding clouds. Early end-to-end action belied the difference between the two sides in terms of their respective league positions. Town's play-off hopefuls would, apparently, need to earn those three all-important play-off points the hard way. As usual! Although Enfield held the balance of play in terms of possession and territory, Hornchurch were not without threat, particularly from their pacey #10, George Purcell, making his 100th appearance for the club and seemingly looking to celebrate that milestone in the best and most traditional way. In their early attacks, The Urchins earned a dubious free kick after 10 minutes, in a dangerous position on Enfield's right. The referee initially allowed play to continue after an infringement; but belatedly awarded the kick after Hornchurch made nothing of the advantage he had clearly played. Joey May's cross caused some concern in the home defence. Town's Nathan McDonald flapped at the crossed ball; but then reprieved himself with a double save, as the rebound fell to Purcell, whose deflected shot earned only a corner, when it could have gone anywhere. That corner kick resulted in another Purcell shot, this time over the bar; but the pattern had been set. A break away attack soon led to another dangerous corner for the visitors. Town 'keeper Nathan McDonald then saved well from Purcell (him again!) who had been put through by #9 Martin Tuohy, Only eleven away fans were in the Hornchurch end, for a close-up view of all that action; but they had brought a very nice and jolly big flag with them, to boost their end-of-season confidence

Enfield then started to develop more consistent pressure on their opponents, wasting an excellent opportunity from a free kick awarded just outside the Hornchurch penalty area. Regular readers of this blog will be only too keenly aware, however, of what dangers lurk when The Towners seem to be in control of a game. So, sure enough, after 17 minutes, a route-one ball was flicked on deftly by Purcell through to Tuohy, who celebrated his own 200th appearance by outpacing the Enfield defence, who were 'caught square', and by neatly slipping the ball wide of the advancing McDonald. It was 0-1; but not entirely against the run of play. "Con - so lay - shun goal!" sang the home fans, somewhat halfheartedly to the melody of 1971's #1 hit "Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep" by Scottish band Middle of the Road. Luckily, there were still about 75 minutes remaining in which to try and salvage Enfield's play-off hopes; and the home side set about the task with renewed vigour. There were wasted crosses and wasted free-kicks, plus tidy saves from The Urchins' Sam Mott. In between, we saw good footwork on the right by towering #4 Claudiu Vilcu; and good footwork on the left by towering #6 (and captain) Stanley Muguo. Both wasted. A new pattern was emerging; but after 31 minutes this was broken by another dangerous Hornchurch attack, as the Urchins' own #6, Frankie Curley, put a diving header harmlessly high and wide, after yet more dubious refereeing and another obvious foul ignored. Within two more minutes, Curley (probably unintentionally) handled a Tyler Campbell shot which was hammered straight at him, inside the box. "Penalty!" Surprisingly, the referee agreed with the home fans. "Off, off, off, off ..." Unsurprisingly, the referee disagreed with that helpful suggestion. No red card was flourished; not even a yellow one. So it was down to former-Urchin, Enfield's reliable #8, Ryan Doyle, to ensure that punishment was duly meted out. Luckily, he did so in style. Leaning to his left, whilst he struck the ball to his right, just inside the join of Mott's left-hand post and cross-bar.
A puff of dust from Doyle's right foot sends the ball towards its rightful home: 1-1.

The established to and fro recommenced, ending the half with a pair of corners for Enfield, as they piled on the pressure for a go-ahead goal; but to no avail. The referee had seen enough and sent both sides out of the sunshine for a breather, with the scores level. During the break, the public address system took us all back to the 1980's one more time. The 1981 Abba medley by Dutch novelty pop act Stars on 45 featured some inspiring lyrics; along with a possible warning about Enfield's hope for a play-off place: "... Now - it's - His-to-reeee!". The crowd was announced as 430; the 3rd-highest of the day, behind Maidstone's and Tonbridge's (who both managed home wins) and somewhat above our average (of 385). The uninterrupted half-time view from the roof of the main stand was an inspiring vista of the avenue running through the George V playing Fields, next door. I hoped that Enfield's second half performance would also be a pleasant walk in the park.
While Town's fans' hopes of reaching the play-offs were still alive; so were those of their opposition fans for league survival. The second half saw their numbers behind the goal double, mysteriously, to twenty-two; and the early action was, once again, end-to-end stuff. After 51 minutes, McDonald was forced into a snap save from Tuohy. A Purcell shot was deflected out for a corner. Then #7 Tobi Joseph headed over from a long throw-in by full-back Junior Luke. Hornchurch appeared to have woken up to the relegation danger. As Enfield have so often found this season, however, the side with the upper hand often pays the price. Liam Hope come on as an Enfield substitute for Nathan Livings; and that change appeared to alter the balance of play. In the 54th minute, #9 Corey Whiteley played a clever 1-2 with #10 Bobby Devyne. Receiving the return ball in from the left on the left-hand corner of Hornchurch's 6-yard box, Whitely's deft touch sailed silkily under the despairing late dive of Mott at his near post. Enfield were finally in front and jubilant celebrations followed in front of the Enfield faithful.
An excellent finish and a sunny day; a perfect combination, well worth celebrating.

Enfield suddenly seemed to realise they were the better team; and would not let up the pressure on their visitors, particularly down their left (Hornchurch's right). April's wispy clouds were no protection from the rays of the sun; nor the rays of Town's renewed brilliance. Six minutes after scoring Enfield's second, Whiteley was at it again. Town's #11, Tyler Campbell, intercepted a poor pass on Hornchurch's pressurised right and ran on before sending in a low cross to the near post where, once again, Whitley was on hand to apply the finishing touch with a deft flick.
A montage of Enfield pressure down the left. Something had to give.

"A-gayne! You'll never play here a-gain!" It was a cruel taunt; but possibly an accurate one. After 68 minutes, Purcell shanked a Hornchurch free kick badly, from a promising position, Enfield nerves started to subside. The fans indulged in a few of their favourite party tunes: Johnny Cash; The Beatles. "Well, shake it up, baby, now (Shake it up, baby) - Twist and shout (Twist and shout)" It was to be hoped that the Urchins would not "Work it on out". But you can never be sure of anything, when Enfield are playing. So home hearts were in metaphorical mouths when the Essex side's Joseph went over theatrically in the centre, just outside the box, earning a yellow card for 'simulation' for his troubles. Home fans showed their short memories a minute later when Devyne went down on the edge of the Hornchurch area without reward; but also without receiving a card: "The Ref-e-ree's from Hornchurch". It wasn't long, though, before a free kick in a dangerous position finally WAS awarded; and it went to the visitors. Home celebrations were put on hold as Purcell directed his curling, left-footed strike from distance past the shaky defensive wall and into the far corner of the Enfield net, right in front of that trusty flag. Whoops!
Purcell finally gets to celebrate his 100th appearance, silencing premature Enfield celebrations. 

There were still five minutes of normal time remaining; and probably some abnormal time to add, too. This was not the script we had approved before the game. A minute later and another free-kick went Hornchurch's way, in a similar position. Town were less troubled this time, luckily; and the club website later observed "there were no more anxious moments of note during the four minutes of added time". That is NOT how it felt, at the time, however.
Manager Bradley Quinton (in black) shows his appreciation for the home fans' unwavering(?!) support, after yet another nerve-jangling narrow victory. The players seem fatigued by their efforts and, perhaps, their earlier celebrations. While injured club captain Mark Kirby (in shades, his future's so bright) urges them to follow their boss's example. 

As a result, after this result, Town subsequently returned to the last of those all-important play-off places, as Grays went down narrowly at Margate, in front of the day's best crowd in the league of over 2,000 - slipping down to 6th place. Just for the record, with only those two decisive league games remaining, Enfield made rather lighter work of plucky local minnows Cockfosters, in their mid-week cup match. Paul Hogan would have been proud of them.

Enfield had their end-of-season fate back in their own hands. Two more league wins would see them through to the play-offs for sure. With a two points and one goal advantage over nearest rivals Grays, four points or less might yet be enough. There was yet more good news, perhaps: since, after a 2-2 draw at Kingstonian on Sunday, next weekend's opponents ("The Rocks" of East Thurrock) would no longer be in with even a mathematical chance of promotion. They would, therefore, have "nothing left to play for" against us; and would surely sit back and let us win easily. Yeah, right! Although their fellow draw-mongers, Kingstonian, did still have just the slimmest glimmer of a play-off chance. Whatever happens on Saturday, down by the Thames, Enfield Town would still be in the mix for those play-offs; but wouldn't it be good to ensure we were still in control of our own fate the following Saturday? Meanwhile, three straight wins could yet see losers Hornchurch survive their relegation threat. Although they've only picked up one point from the last 15 available; and their fate might yet rest in Enfield's hands, when we play one of their drop-rivals, Witham Town, on the final day of the 'regular' season.

No flesh-eating zombies THIS week after all, then; but we must still venture out next to deepest, darkest Stanford-le-Hope for what will, surely, be a far sterner test. ""The horror! The horror!” Readers with good memories may recall seeing Thurrock's FA Cup run on TV earlier this season, It was terminated by league opposition in the shape of  the (now-recovering) 'Monkey-Hangers' of Hartlepool United. Come On, You Towners!

Full-time: Enfield Town 3 - AFC Hornchurch 2

Enfield Town: Nathan McDonald, Jordan Lockie, Ricky Gabriel, Claudiu Vilcu, Joe Ellul, Stanley Muguo, Nathan Livings (Liam Hope 52), Ryan Doyle (Phil Kane 82), Corey Whitely, Bobby Devyne(Dernell Wynter 82), Tyler Campbell. Unused subs: Isaac Nkosi, Michael Kalu. Booked: Hope, Wynter.
AFC Hornchurch: Sam Mott, Danny Woodards, Junior Luke, Elliot Styles, Billy Roast, Frankie Curley, Tobi Joseph (Kieran Bishop 87), Danny Johnson, Martin Tuohy, George Purcell, Joey May (Reece Beckles-Richards 65). Unused subs: Thomas Gogo, Courtney Homans, Billy Coyne. Booked: Johnson.

Attendance:430.