Where? In Hertfordshire - That's Ware!

Ware vs Brightlingsea Regent

Saturday 25th February, 2016 - 3pm k-o:
Ryman Isthmian League, Division One North

Fancy-Dress? ... or just another case of "The Emperor's New Clothes"? A Big Day Out, in Tier Eight.

At the risk of re-running that old Abbot and Costello baseball skit (“Who’s on first base?"*) just before setting off from 52 Festive Road the other day, for the big Ryman League North clash, my wife asked me: “You’re going to where this afternoon?”. To which I, of course, replied “That’s right, Ware”; and then it all kicked off. Hilarious! Divorce proceedings commence next week.

That old sketch holds a special place in comedy history. Similarly, Ware holds a fairly special place in local history. So I made extra time for an all-important pre-match detour into its quaint old market town centre, to check out its historical credentials. I'm sure my old friend, Historian Bill would approve (yes, he of everybody's favourite local radio sports show: https://www.mixcloud.com/brynandbill/new-episode-15-the-bryn-bill-football-show-with-tom-lapslie-karl-duguid-jim-french-charles/).

History Repeating Itself

Ware lies on Ermine Street, the old Roman road from London to Lincoln. It’s claimed to be one of the oldest continuously occupied sites in Europe. The town’s name dates from the Anglo-Saxon period, when weirs were built to stop the invading Vikings from escaping in their long-ships, after defeat by King Alfred the Great, in a nearby battle. Later, it was famed as a coaching town, being on the Old North Road, less than a day's journey from London. It became the source of the 17th century New River, constructed to carry fresh water to London. It was also an old brewing town; and some of the old maltings buildings still stand – though, sadly, no longer in working order. The town is mentioned in Chaucer’s “Canterbury Tales” and boasts the remains of a thirteenth-century friary, with a large fourteenth-century parish church opposite. Its famous Great Bed of Ware (now housed in the V&A museum) was built by Hertfordshire carpenter Jonas Fosbrooke in 1580. It’s mentioned in Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night” and Ben Jonson’s “Epiconene”. It was previously used at the town’s Saracens Head and White Hart Inn hostelries.

The Great Bed of Ware: it was to be hoped that Ware F.C.'s tactics would NOT be sleep-inducing.

Brightlingsea has its own historical significance, of course. Mentioned in the Domesday Book, as Brictesceseia, the lord of the manor had been King Harold Godwinson, up until he took one in the eye for the team, in his defeat by William the Bastard ... he really WAS one, too, wasn't he? The town’s fourteenth century Jacob's Hall is reputedly the oldest timber-framed building in England. It’s also the only community outside Kent and Sussex which has a formal connection to the venerable Confederation of the Cinque Ports. But all of that is mostly in the past, now.

Ware F.C.: 1904 Herts. Senior Cup fancy-dress winners?

These days, Ware F.C. is based at Wodson Park, a sports complex North of town, with very easy access to the A10. This meant that my 32 mile round-trip from Enfield took well under an hour of driving time, even including my detour to the town centre. It’s a neat little ground with a nice main stand; but the sloping pitch, uneven surface and uneven officiating meant there was to be no level playing field for Regent to enjoy today, either literally or metaphorically. All of which would probably work in the hosts favour.

Ware are currently dabbling with the wrong end of the league table, having suffered 16 defeats in their last 24 games, in all competitions; including a 5-0 midweek hammering, away to today’s guests, less than 4 days earlier. Whereas the visitors went into this game second in the table; behind leaders Maldon & Tiptree only on Goal Difference - and with a game in hand. In a run of 12 unbeaten league games, they have only dropped 4 points this calendar year, including clocking up a critical, narrow win over their title rivals, “The Jammers”.

 

Good Will Hunt(ing)?

Keen to maintain their momentum in what is now, surely, a straight, two-horse race for the Ryman North league title – and automatic promotion – Brightlingsea Regent manager, James Webster, and his back-room team have sought to shuffle their squad options and to continue bringing in the best available additional talent. I’ve only seen Brightlingsea play once before, this season; in their away win at Brentwood Town, back on Fireworks Night: Remember, Remember, The 5^th of November (see match coverage elsewhere on this blog page). Webster went on to receive the Ryman League Manager of the Month Award for November, with that side. Such is the scale of change within the club, and their lust for the league title, however, that only 6 of that November starting line-up would be in the First XI for this match, less than four months later.

Webster’s subsequent Hunt hasn’t JUST been for "good will", though. He’s been scouring the planet (or, at least, North-East Essex) for players who will bolster his side with a greater killer instinct; a trait which might yet conjure automatic promotion out of the R’s lofty second place.

In the middle of February, Brightlingsea Regent announced their latest “big new signing”, after poaching Billy Hunt from Stanway Rovers. His “superb scoring record” includes netting 36 times in 50 appearances for Stanway, in the Thurlow Nunn Premier Division. He previously spent two seasons as top scorer at Heybridge Swifts, after a spell with Chelmsford, in the Conference South. But what’s in this local move for glory-hunting Billy, himself? He is quoted as saying “it’s not often you get the chance to be in a title-chasing side … and hopefully I can add something to the team and help them finish in the Ryman North play-offs.” Perhaps he hasn’t yet read the finer detail of Webster’s end-of-season script carefully enough. Hunt has previously worked with Angelo Harrop - the club’s new First Team Head Coach, since the end of December – when he was previously in charge at …

yes, Stanway Rovers.

The Ryman League: it's a dirty sign!

So not only does the Brightlingsea player roster continue to be bolstered; but so does that of the coaching staff (Harrop already holds a UEFA B Coaching Licence) - at Stanway’s expense. Just how is Brightlingsea funding such extravagance? The good news for Webster is that his faith in his new signing seems well-placed. In the R’s last game, that home triumph over today’s hosts, the appropriately named recent joiner (Good) Will had Hunt(ed) down a hat-trick; including the decisive opening two first-half goals - thus making an immediate return on whatever the club’s investment in him has been. With Ware now well-warned, Good Will was likely to be Hunt(ed) down a little better himself, in this follow-up encounter.

Let’s Get Ready to Rumble!

The day’s attendance of 102 brought Ware’s home average for the season up to 68; barely more than half of Regent’s own home average gate, of 121. Even that bigger, Brightlingsea figure is only the league’s 8th highest average home crowd, though. Incidentally, mid-table Bury Town are the Big Boys in this league, with an average home gate of 265. It remains something of a mystery how any of these clubs apart from Bury, perhaps, can operate on the revenues generated by such slim pickings, no matter how loyal and vociferous their fans might be. The entrance fee at Ware is just £8 (plus an extra £1.50 for the match-day programme. So gate revenues were unlikely to have exceeded a thousand pounds for this encounter. Some away supporters seemed to have donned pirate-themed fancy-dress garb; but it was not clear if they had paid extra for this privilege.

Away Day Fan Fun: with drums and flags and fancy-dress. (Photo: Tony Osborne)

Given their respective positions and form, the clever money might well initially have been on an away win in this fixture; but one Regent's fan who’d been at the mid-week game suddenly appeared at my shoulder, telling me that the 5-0 result had been very flattering to Regent; and that Ware were not a bad side, at all. Although I noticed neither fez nor moustache at the time, he might well have been the mysterious shop-keeper from “Mr. Benn”.

... Because, he'd appeared out of nowhere and, just at that moment (as if by magic) Ware started the game as the livelier side. Indeed Sam Cowler, in the visitors’ goal, needed to be alert and agile in the opening minutes to keep the scores level, from a Ware corner on their left. The hosts had a long-throw specialist, too; in the shape of wing-back Junior Appiah, who would hurl in missiles from the right for the whole game; and Brightlingsea continued to look nervous at the back throughout the opening exchanges - and beyond.

Sam Cowler: airborne, early on, to protect The R's goal.

From the outset, the home side vociferously challenged the referee’s decisions and control of the game – at least, they queried all of his decisions that went against them. Brightlingsea fans might grumble that there were very few such decisions, as a result. Despite all of this early hubbub, and their shaky start, the R’s gradually grew in stature, as they adjusted to the uneven bobble of the playing surface. Brightlingsea had a very decent penalty shout turned down, followed by a series of corners; all of which the hosts withstood manfully. The Blues were determined not to let their visitors settle too comfortably; and established the uneven rhythm of what was to be a physical and niggly encounter.

No penalty! It was noticeable that, by the second half, the linesman had finally learned what that yellow thing on a stick was actually for. 

After half an hour, an uncharacteristic defensive lapse on the right by The R’s skipper, Matt Cripps, let Ware’s #9, Gareth Price, in on goal; but he was unable to capitalise on this rare opportunity; seeing his low, left-footed shot saved by the feet of Cowler. It was a scrappy affair in typical, cool February conditions; and there was plenty of head-scratching on the away bench, as to how to turn up the heat, to avoid losing ground on their promotion rivals. Despite bustling industry from both sides, the game remained scoreless at half-time, as the crowd gratefully sought warmth in the clubhouse bar.

Man in Black: The R's manager, James Webster, abandons his dug-out to get a first-half, first-hand view from his right wing - and the terrace.

Things livened up on the pitch considerably, though, after the break; and the complexion of the game changed completely after just three minutes of the second half, as Regent’s #8, Jake Turner pounced, in something of a goal-mouth scramble, to toe-poke home the first score of the game.
Turner pounces, (centre) as Ware's 'keeper reacts just too late: 0-1. (Photo: Tony Osborne)

The Ware FC website tells the story of the next passage of play rather well: "Ware responded almost immediately and Murat Karagul's corner was met by Josh Oyibo on the edge of the area. His shot seemed to beat Cowler but was cleared from the goal line by an alert defender. It was enough to tell Ware that there was still something on offer from the game and they enjoyed another good spell playing down the slope in search of an equaliser. It was all undone with just over 15 minutes to go".

On the hour mark, Mr. Johnson finally signalled he’d had enough heckling of his decisions, by sending off one of the home coaching staff to the stands, with a Red Card. It was too little too late, for him to really take control of this game, though. Meanwhile, news of Maldon’s troubles at Bury was, apparently, filtering in on ‘phone apps around the ground, as the away support burst into a rendition of “We - Are - Top of the League - said We are top of the league”.

Brightlingsea's Kelly, prepares to celebrate possibly his 100th club goal. Your doughty reporter can be seen in yellow fancy dress(?) at centre. (Photo: Tony Osborne)

And that table-topping position finally looked secure after 75 minutes, when #10 Phil Kelly doubled the lead, with what was claimed to be his 100^th Brightlingsea goal – although the club website says he’s still 'only' on 86! Away celebrations were loud and heartfelt. The wind was well and truly knocked out of Ware's sails, finally; and there was still time for the visitors to add a late, slightly flattering third, in the 87^th minute, courtesy of sub. Ricky Griggs.

The Aftermath

It won’t have been the result Ware were looking for; but, in truth, they’d mostly been marginally second-best – apart from in their well-drilled complaining department. They remain just two places and four points above the relegation zone. Ware look too well organised to go down; but could do with instilling better discipline across their side - and the dug-out.[Later Addition - end of season post-script: as it turned out, the Pharaoh's all-seeing football eye had adopted a squint. On the last day of the season, Ware WERE, indeed, relegated. Equal on points with both Waltham Abbey and Heybridge Swifts, they had scored more goals than either of those rival teams ... but had conceded one too many goals. Their Goal Difference was -18, versus -16 and -17, respectively. One less goal conceded in the match reported above would have saved them from the drop; and, as I said at the time, Brightlingsea's late third really had been "slightly flattering". But such is our cruel football mistress].

Meanwhile, the final whistle saw Brightlingsea Regent bestride the Ryman League North Division like a mighty, Tier Eight Colossus. They would go on to round out February by winning their game-in-hand, the following Tuesday against Soham Town (making it seven straight league wins) to take a six point lead over Maldon. Although they then relinquished half of that lead again, the following Saturday, in an unexpected, narrow, home defeat to fellow promotion hopefuls, Thurrock. Given the recent implosion of form and play-off hopes by my own side, Enfield Town, in Tier Seven (with just ONE point earned from 4 home games, since early January – and only TWO wins in their last eight league games ... Come On, You Towners!) it seemed there was a very good chance that Brightlingsea might be going Head-to-Head with “us”, next season. Or is The Emperor, in fact, merely parading naked, in front of prematurely-celebrating fans?

In a match-day programme foot-note, and as a former English Teacher, I can’t help pedantically pointing out the continued abuse of our poor old apostrophe - and pitying its plight (see above). Singular or plural? Possessive or Abbreviated? "Assistant Referee’s" what, exactly? Perhaps it should be "Referee's Assistants", next time; for clarity and correctness. But, with all that confusing nit-picking, I may getting be too close for comfort to Abbot and Costello territory, again; and that historic, comedy gold …

Culture Vulture:

* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTcRRaXV-fg - Abbot and Costello: “Who’s on first base?”

** https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr_Benn - “Mr Benn” (who lived at number 52, Festive Road) was created by David McKee and originally transmitted by BBC TV in 1971 – ‘72.