Tuesday 2 December 2014

What's in a name? Saturday league football returns to the QEII ... and about time, too!

Enfield Town versus Harrow Borough

Saturday 29th November, 2014 – 3pm kick-off

THE RYMAN ISTHMIAN PREMIER LEAGUE

There is an old racist 'joke' (which, for so many good reasons, I won’t re-tell in detail here) much beloved of traditional, old school, working men's club comedian dinosaurs. It's about how so many cheery Chinese migrants arriving at Heathrow airport used to end up inadvertently taking taxis to Harrow. Hardly hilarious; but I was unexpectedly reminded of it, recently, only because Enfield Town were scheduled to play Harrow Borough again this Saturday at Donkey Lane. That crusty old gag is more or less the sum total of my knowledge of Harrow, other than its famous public school. Oh, and a good friend's posh wedding I was (surely mistakenly?) once invited to (though not twice) on The Hill, back in the late '80's. Thanks, Emma! If Saturday's match actually went ahead, as scheduled, it would be the third game between the two sides in just 15 weeks. After the postponement of Enfield’s Tuesday night home game due to a water-logged pitch, however, there was some residual doubt as to whether that third match up between the two sides would, indeed, be played at all. Hopefully, there wouldn’t prove to be too much residual water. There has been a typical, late-November mixture of more rain and some dry spells since Tuesday; but why my sudden interest in matters meteorological, you might be wondering? Not only had I spent the morning finally starting a delayed DIY decorating task (I’m re-painting all of the stairways, landings and halls of a 3-storey town-house) with an eye on the sky - and a number of open windows - but I was also suffering from soccer-withdrawal symptoms, after so many weekends without home league football fixtures at The Donkey-Drome. The Beautiful Game, you see, is one of a very select number of drugs of which I do need a fix on a regular basis; but I digress.

Given that this was the last match-day of November - and there has only been one home league game at the QEII since Saturday 18th October (the 3-0 win over Lewes which, coincidentally, had really kick-started Brad Quinton’s and the Towners’ season) - another postponement would not be well received. At least, certainly not by me – and perhaps not by regular readers of my occasional blog, who might have been left wondering if I had departed to that football ground in the sky for an early bath. The previous home game before that had been a narrow 1-0 mid-week League Cup win over today’s opponents. For a detailed reminder and the usual colourful match report, go to http://des-desh.blogspot.co.uk/2014_10_01_archive.html

To find “improving” Enfield’s last defeat in the league, you’d have to rewind all the way back to 23rd September, away at another “Borough” side … when Hampton & Richmond Borough were the narrow 1-0 mid-week winners.

What's in a name? 
… as Shakespeare’s Juliet asked us, rhetorically. Luckily, she avoided an embarrassing silence by providing the answer herself: “ That which we call a rose / By any other name would smell as sweet”. Aha!

Wiki tells us that Saturday's visitors were originally formed in 1933 under the name Roxonian F.C.  The next season saw them move into a new ground, the Earlsmead Stadium in South Harrow, where they still play, to this day. In the 1938-’39 season, they won the Spartan League Division Two West, under the changed name of Harrow Town F.C. In 1967, the club revised its name once again; this time to Harrow Borough F.C. – after which they were relegated to Athenian League Division Two and faced extinction. Perhaps that was just too many name changes, then? The eventual sale of their second pitch to the local council enabled the club to redevelop their stadium, survive off the pitch and continue to “smell as sweet”. Still on the subject of names, the Ryman Premier is not a league in which too much energy gets wasted over the matter of club nicknames. Harrow’s brace of them reconfirms this fact: “The Boro” and “The Reds”. Guess what colour shirts they wear.
Roxonian Harrow Town Harrow Borough (in red) defend an aerial attack from Enfield skipper Mark Kirby (white #5, centre) as the setting sun makes everything seem suddenly, topically(?), Turner-esque

The visitors’ manager, Dave Anderson, is an interesting character. A former goalkeeper who played for his home nation’s B-side, the Ulsterman had a youth career which took in Wolverhampton Wanderers and Sheffield United (both ‘status’ clubs, at that time); but his brief senior career was played out back home, at Glentoran & Bangor. In fact, his playing career was prematurely ended by injury, at the age of just 23. A long back-room and management career in non-league football ensued; and has seen him take in Enfield (the club from whose ‘ashes’ Enfield Town arose), Aylesbury United, St Albans City (twice), Harrow Borough (twice), Southall, North Greenford United, Hendon, AFC Wimbledon, Windsor and Eton, Northwood - and Slough Town. It would be fair to say that he knows his way around; but also fair to say that he has not exactly hit the highest heights, yet.

Before the game, Enfield Town found themselves in the unaccustomed surroundings of 10th place in the Ryman Premier League. At last they were looking UP the table more than DOWN it; being the league’s form team, with 4 wins and a draw in their last 5 league games – and with games ‘in hand’ over most of the teams above them. By comparison, Harrow Borough’s record in their last 5 games is 2 wins and 3 defeats; leaving them in 20th place, just one point above the dreaded drop-zone, so familiar in recent seasons to the Towners and their fans. Harrow have also played 2 more games than the team below them (Lewes) and have a worse GD. One could argue, then, that they are ideal opponents with whom Enfield should be asked to get their much-disrupted league season back on track. Although, to be fair to Harrow, they did also have a strong FA Cup run distraction, that saw them progress to the final qualifying round of matches -  before finally being beaten in extra time by Basingstoke Town of the league above them, the Conference South.

October saw Enfield harvest three wins and two draws in the league, including their impressive 3-1 home victory over title-chasing Margate. On the back of such form, it should come as little surprise to discover that Towners’ boss Bradley Quinton had won the Ryman Premier League's Manager of the Month award. As well as being presented with a framed certificate to mark the achievement, Brad will be 'measured up' for a bespoke new suit by the Surrey-based tailors who are sponsors of the awards. “Suits you, sir!”

Since October, Town have only managed to play just one league fixture – which they also won, breaking the normal MotM jinx - away at Kingstonian. So their return to home league action could really not have come quickly enough. The bookies had clearly followed those recent form statistics, regardless of any intervening delays. They were offering just 9/10 for a home win, 13/5 for a surprise away win and 14/5 the draw. I had suggested to my occasional match buddy, Glenn, that this would be a good game for him to get ‘back in the saddle’ with. He hasn't been along to the QEII for some time. I told him I was expecting a high-scoring home win; but that wasn't quite enough incentive to tempt him along – and who knew if I was going to be proved right, anyway?

Just over a month ago, Town's 3rd goal against Margate in that famous victory was scored by crowd favourite (CF) Liam Hope. With that strike, Hope overtook club stalwart Rudi Hall to become the Towners’ leading scorer, with 107 goals. Rudi's tally had included 56 penalties and taken him 351 games – but, in his defence, Hall did play in midfield rather than ‘up front’. Liam took just 230 games, less than two-thirds of Hall’s total - and his tally includes only 34 penalties... in doing so Hope has, incidentally, maintained a perfect, 100% penalty-taking record for the club. Naturally, as club record scorer and super-reliable "Mr. Penalties", for today’s match Hope was dropped to the bench. Joining him there from the starting line-up of that previous meeting between the two clubs was Ryan Doyle; while Ade Cole was out of the side entirely. Muscling their way in from that day’s bench were Stanley Muguo & Michael Kalu, along with striker Jon Constant (who has since joined from Maidenhead United) with fellow recent joiner Leon Antoine (from Witham Town) on the bench.

For their part, Harrow Borough’s line-up was drastically different from that October Cup game. Only the goal keeper (Jupp) plus Hall and Smith were retained, with Charles-Smith (that’s actually only one player) and Bryan stepping up from the bench. Latest signing Greg Ngoyi would also join them, along with 5 other new names. Meanwhile the club captain from that previous tie, Danny May, was nowhere to be seen. Proof that the beautiful game really does attract all sorts might be found in the fact that May’s brief Wiki profile carries a link to a 2009 news article in the Watford Observer: http://www.watfordobserver.co.uk/news/4451192.Sex_treatment_for_flashing_footballer/

This covers details of a sex-pest case: Wood Green Crown Court “imposed a three-year order on May. During that time May will be supervised by probation and must attend a sex offenders' treatment programme”. I won’t go further into the sordid details of the story. A former professional player with Northampton Town (before being axed by then Cobblers boss, Stuart Gray) May’s non-league career has included a spell with Enfield Town.

With seven others missing from Harrow’s cup match starting line-up, the visitors began the game looking very much like a group of strangers who might have been found straggling in the car park before the game; and been hastily cobbled together into something approaching a team. It is not a good sign when your club’s away support can be counted individually, from the far end of the ground – and using less than the sum of one person’s fingers and thumbs. So the presence of just nine (yes, 9!) Boro fans in the away end suggested there might be something awry at Harrow Borough FC, despite their excellent FA Cup run. For the record, there were no obvious signs of Chinese infiltration, amongst either the team or the fans. The total attendance of 330 was not a particularly large one; but it did consist almost exclusively of home fans. This number was marginally higher than Enfield’s lowest gate of the season to date (303). By way of a comparative benchmark, Enfield boasts the 7th highest average home attendance in the league (400) out of 24 clubs. That’s a +3.9% increase so far on last season. Harrow’s average is just 181 (up +1.1% YoY).
Enfield's Nathan Livings (#8, extreme right) floats a free-kick over the two-man Boro wall, with the main stand as an elegant, Art Deco backdrop.

On the pitch, Enfield enjoyed the majority of early possession and made the most of the Harrow players’ apparent lack of familiarity with each other. The match report on Harrow’s own website observed that “John Sonuga got away with a first minute challenge that many other referees would have awarded a penalty for”; but that was pretty much where the visitors’ luck began and ended. After Enfield had launched wave upon wave of early attacks, in the fourth minute Nathan Livings reacted first to reach a loose ball from a blocked shot, to score the game’s first goal, with a low drive. Within 4 minutes Tyler Campbell played a ball across the six-yard box for Jon Constant to finish from close range. Worryingly for Liam Hope, Constant seems to be finding the surroundings at Enfield Town to his liking. He would go on to win the Man-Of-The Match award.

Buoyed by their team’s uncharacteristically feisty and successful start, after 15 minutes the home fans had switched from goading the limited numbers of the away support (“Is – that all – you take - a way?”; “Shall – we sing – a song – for you?”) to commenting on the apparent gulf in class between the two sides (“We’re – just – too good – for you!”). In truth, though, despite continued dominance of possession and territory, Enfield were struggling to make their advantage pay off further. Towners supporters switched their focus to celebrate their attendance in numbers, despite the Xmas shopping season, with: “You can stick your Christmas shopping up you’re a*se!” (to the tune of “She’ll be coming round the mountain) and a ribald variation on “Away in a Manger”. Plenty of toil and huff and puff produced no more Enfield goals; but a string of fine saves by Harrow’s Jupp. As the whistle went for half-time, it was difficult to believe that Enfield had not built further upon their excellent start; something they might well rue by the end of the next 45 minutes.

Among the musical selections played over the public address system during the break was Chubby Checker’s “The Twist”. Harrow’s boss, Dave Anderson, took the hint and made a couple of substitutions at the interval; but with little resultant impact on the balance of play. Enfield carried on where they had left off and repeated the early pressure of the first period. Brad’s half-time analysis must have been stinging their ears. In the 50th minute, a quickly-taken Town free kick inside their own half was sent long. Tyler Campbell raced onto the through-ball, neatly side-stepped the rapidly advancing ‘keeper, went left and tapped in from close-range.
Almost faster than the human eye (or camera lens) could blink: Campbell (extreme right) rounds the advancing Jupp, before slotting home Town's 3rd.

In the next minute Campbell turned provider, when he cut back a low ball from the left for Constant to notch his second, from 4 yards out, sending Jupp the wrong way. It made the score 4-0; and the game was, effectively, over as a competition. Harrow had only pride left to play for; and even that soon proved a fruitless task.

The back of the Harrow net ripples to signify completion of Jon Constant's 'brace' in the bottom corner (as he watches on, centre): 4-0.

In the 64th minute, Michael Kalu seemed to select a sand-wedge to flight a tempting, floated ball into the box. Phil Kane accepted the kind invitation and majestically headed home Enfield’s fifth, with power.Shortly afterwards, Liam Hope and then Neil Cousins joined the fray (for Corey Whitely and Jon Constant) hoping to get in the goal-scoring action. Finally, Livings made way for another new recruit up front, Leon Antoine, after 80 minutes.

Phil Kane's powerful header from distance, en route above a crowd of players to the top right corner of Jupp's goal. Enfield Town go "nap": 5-0. 

There were to be no further goals, however. That's sometimes the trouble with having a "nap". Towners fans would have to make do with just the five. Until Tuesday night, at least, when they entertain Peacehaven & Telscombe - who have managed just one win on their travels this season, in nine attempts. Crazy club name: crazy away form – and, whilst still on the subject of names: can you guess what colours “The Magpies” play in?

Enfield survived their seventh consecutive league game without defeat and climbed up to 8th place in the table, leaving Brad Quinton to talk down their chances of a play-off place. Harrow remained in 20th; but they will need to improve rapidly, if they are to avoid a relegation dogfight, after Christmas. I was right about the high-scoring home win; and Glenn had missed out on what turned out to be a humdinger. For Enfield fans, at least.

Long after the final whistle had gone, Harrow Borough’s club web site carried a scathing attack on its own team, masquerading as a match report: “this performance, totally pitiful and even more abysmal … than those September shockers against Wingate, Hampton and Hornchurch”. Maybe someone should tell the report's author that most of September’s team has disappeared; evaporated into thin air; to be replaced by a strangers XI … or maybe they were body-snatchers? In which case, perhaps, we should perhaps not be too surprised, after all, by the meagre away support following them.
Twins? Harrow Borough in "Possible body-snatchers" shock: the evidence is in their not-FA-approved 'alien' mirror-numbering system? Is it a sign "they" are among us?

By contrast, Enfield’s website carried a tweet that could boast “as comfortable a victory as we've ever had at this level” – which spoke volumes both for the opposition and for the tremendous job award-winning Brad Quinton has done since taking over the reins of a struggling side from former manager George Borg. The league table format shows each club’s last five results. Enfield’s form record now shows a row of five green boxes, each one containing a gleaming, white, capital “W” for "Win". Bootiful! Which suggests that this may not be the best time for The Magpies to have to fly North from the South Coast, to Donkey Lane.  I'll be there to bring you all the latest club news; so Come on, You Towners!

ENFIELD TOWN: Nathan McDonald, Jordan Lockie, Phil Kane, Taylor Hastings, Mark Kirby, Stanley Muguo (booked, 84 mins), Tyler Campbell, Nathan Livings (sub Leon Antoine, 77 mins), Corey Whiteley (sub Liam Hope, 62 mins), Jonathan Constant (sub Neil Cousins, 69 mins), Michael Kalu. Unused subs: Jamie Smyth, Ryan Doyle.
HARROW BOROUGH: Nick Jupp, Howard Hall (booked, 53 mins), Julian Smith, Anthony Maissiat (sub Sekou Kaba, h-t), Michael Peacock, John Sonuga, Jerome Walker (sub Kamaron English, h-t), Harold Odametey, Marc Charles-Smith, Greg Ngoyi (sub Daniel Dyer, 72 mins), Michael Bryan. Unused subs: Jake Gilbert, David Taylor

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