22 March 2019
Qualifying Group A
England versus Czech Republic 19:45
Attendance: 82,575
AND
26 June 1996
Second Semi-final
Germany vs England 19:30
Attendance: 75,862
In the absence of English Premier League football and any more humiliating defeats for Fulham FC this week (don't worry, 'normal service' may well be resumed next weekend) all hungry football eyes turned elsewhere. Did you spot any parallels between the two games named above? Grab a cuppa and Czech (see what I did there?) out whether they're the same ones I noticed ...
As England crushed the Czech Republic 5-0 in a routine Euro qualifier, Sterling turned on the style by scoring a hat-trick. Fulham defenders, please take note. By the standard of most England matches, this one was quite enjoyable to watch. One defining moment from the game, however, stood out. Reminding me of a much less auspicious England result, in exactly the same Sat-Nav location, almost 23 years earlier.
Wembley Stadium: then and now ... and the pitch looks better!
Cast your mind back to the halcyon days of a long lost summer, and the Euro 1996 semi-final: England vs. Germany, under the twin towers of Old Wembley, and featuring those appalling slate-blue England shirts. We are in extra time, where a 'golden goal' could finish the tie. Paul Gascoigne is the central player in question, whose 'golden' potential would never be fully realised (there's a clue here!). He had provided the cross from a 3rd minute left-wing corner which, flicked on at the near post, lead to England's go-ahead goal. Scored, almost inevitably, by Alan Shearer. England were widely described as having been the better side in this game. It was a decent German vintage - but not a great one. Frustratingly, the Germans had ground out an equaliser in the first half - "the Kuntz", as too many of us (humourously?) observed. There were no more goals in normal time although, agonisingly, Anderton ("sick note", to his friends) had hit the post already, in extra-time, under pressure from German GK, Oliver Kahn. That was before my defining image finally arrived.
Cast your mind back to the halcyon days of a long lost summer, and the Euro 1996 semi-final: England vs. Germany, under the twin towers of Old Wembley, and featuring those appalling slate-blue England shirts. We are in extra time, where a 'golden goal' could finish the tie. Paul Gascoigne is the central player in question, whose 'golden' potential would never be fully realised (there's a clue here!). He had provided the cross from a 3rd minute left-wing corner which, flicked on at the near post, lead to England's go-ahead goal. Scored, almost inevitably, by Alan Shearer. England were widely described as having been the better side in this game. It was a decent German vintage - but not a great one. Frustratingly, the Germans had ground out an equaliser in the first half - "the Kuntz", as too many of us (humourously?) observed. There were no more goals in normal time although, agonisingly, Anderton ("sick note", to his friends) had hit the post already, in extra-time, under pressure from German GK, Oliver Kahn. That was before my defining image finally arrived.
So then came Gascoigne's ultimate, career-defining moment in the spotlight. Forget the Tears of a Clown in Turin, forget The Dentist's Chair, forget the tabloid front pages featuring a portly Gascoigne out on the town with his nemesis, those celebrity "friends" of his, Chris Evans and Danny Baker. Six years on from Italia '90, Gazza was already, arguably, at the age of 29, past the peak of his powers; all too soon. Slowed by injuries (some of them so unnecessary) and already pursued by unseen inner demons.
As Shearer (of all people) provided a low cross from deep on the right of the German penalty area, which beat THREE defenders AND the goalie (the ultimate "slide-rule" pass, whatever that is) Gascoigne breezed, unmarked, into the centre of the six-yard box to administer the coup de grâce that would put Germany out of their misery and England, so rightfully, into the final of THEIR tournament to play the Czech Republic. Football really was "coming home", at last. After "thir-ty years of hurt".
But what was this? With nobody to beat but himself, Gazza seemed to physically (and mentally) crumble, in slow motion, before our very eyes. As he stretched for the ball, the weight of expectation from 60 million people (less a few bitter, self-deluding, Colin Hendry-loving Scots) was suddenly and very visibly weighing down on him. His stuttering, uncertain run and unsportsmanlike shove on his marker had slowed him down by that oft-cited and all-important "half a yard". He would, surely, need to stretch forward with his unfavoured right foot to reach this most tantalising of passes. Since, if he were to go with his left, the deliciously defence-beating pace of that cross would mean the ball would be past him before he could reach it. Gascoigne must realise this, too - won't he?!
Split-second decisions, famously, are often the defining moments of sports success - and failure. Gascoigne, marginally off the pace, chose his left foot, of course. Most of you will already know what happened next - the rest of this particular story goes: a penalty shoot-out defeat, resulting from an infamously decisive miss of the 12th, "sudden-death" spot-kick, by a 25 year-old Gareth Southgate; a golden goal win for Germany in what would have, could have, should have been England's glorious, sultry, sunny, summer final, against the Czechs; later revelations that Gazza was suffering from the beginnings of bulimia, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), bipolar disorder, violence towards his partner and alcoholism. [OK, so maybe we'd all had a fairly good idea about the last one of those, from earlier on.] Those memories that should have been so golden are, instead, mostly made of brass.
Anybody who sees a still photograph of that should-have-been winning goal probably, like me, reflects on it as short-hand for all the wasted millions of column inches of shoddy sports "journalism" that passes for incisive comment on England's various and much-vaunted but ultimately under-performing "Golden Generations" (sighs deeply and shakes his head). It turned out that a decent German vintage was just enough, after all, to win the glittering prizes - while England's fizz remained unopened. Yet again!
Under the arch of New Wembley, on Friday night, however, almost 23 years later, a different sort of sighing was to be heard. They were sighs of delight and contentment (perhaps mingled with some surprise) along with the birthing sounds of yet more over-bearing National hopes and expectations - will we never learn?!
With the scoreline at 0-0, 25 year-old Harry Kane played an incisive pass inside the Czech left-back to 18 year old Jadon Sancho who, in turn, played an oh-so-familiar-looking low cross into the 6 yard box from the right of the German (sorry, I mean the Czech) penalty area. This time, Gascoigne was nowhere to be seen, struggling to make the ground and the right decision. Instead, 24 year-old Raheem Sterling had sprinted to make himself available in the centre, near what I tend to think of as The Gazza Spot. He finished with aplomb, as he does so often, these days, for his club. Getting his outstretched left boot to the ball, almost exactly on the same blade of grass where others had previously failed. As an England fan, I had naturally assumed Sterling would not quite reach it. I was most surprised to see the ball in the back of the net, the absence of an off-side flag and subsequent goal celebrations.
The Guardian's chief football writer, Daniel Taylor, observed of the game: "The most notable statistic was that the goal was the culmination of a 25-pass move in which 10 different players were involved." He was wrong though, of course. The most notable statistics were to be found elsewhere. That was just a sports "journalist" showing off his supposed note-taking and observation skills. His stat does, however, show how abjectly outclassed the Czechs were, despite being ranked second in the group by most pundits, before this match. How poor and inappropriate their strategy and style of game management were. In the opening quarter of an hour, for instance, they had already resorted to an 11-man defence and 'agricultural' (unpunished) 'clogging' of opponents. This had resulted in the unfortunate Eric Dier being removed from the game with an injury. Ironically, it was the introduction of 25 year-old Dier's replacement that did for the Czechs. So perhaps the football gods were paying attention after all. This time, at least. Southgate introduced a more attacking central player, the 25 year-old Ross Barkley, and a subtle change to the team's formation, which left their opponents chasing shadows (to borrow a well-worn journo cliché).
No, forget about 25-pass moves (one pass for each year of their average age?) and the involvement of 10 different players. Just reflect on, and glory in, the more unstressed manner in which this young England team went about their business; unburdened by pressures and expectations. Destined and determined merely to express themselves and their talents, on the pitch, for their appreciative fans ...
and one day, quite soon perhaps, to finally end 53 years - and counting - of hurt.
That 25 year-old penalty misser, of Euro '96 and Pizza Hut infamy, has clearly learned a few footballing and media lessons along his rocky career road. He is now teaching them all to the class of 2019, and they appear to be quick learners. Which is just as well, because their careers and golden opportunities will pass in the blink of an alcoholic's teary, bleary eye.
As others can surely tell them, from (pints of) bitter personal experience.
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