“It's Been a Long, a Long Time Coming ...”

(hear Sam Cooke's - soulful rendition here, as you read on) ... that title, above, refers equally to both this latest cultural contribution from 'Enfield Towers' AND also the FA’s long-overdue experiment with VAR.

Welcome back, Sports Fans! Did you miss me? They say that a week is a long time in politics. So what would ‘they’ make of my 9-month football blog hiatus; and about my apparent sabbatical from the terraces? Those 9 months would be long enough to bring yet another unwanted, high-rise, low-rent teenage Enfield pregnancy to full term … So this next, long-overdue, pregnant post had better be a good one! I’ll let YOU decide on the truth (or otherwise) of that, in due course …

The Isthmian Premier League

The last time you heard from me on this page, Enfield Town were bound for last season’s Isthmian Premier League Play-Offs; and I was taking things easy, with my broken right foot ensconced in a rehabilitation boot [see previous post, below]. Well the boot is now long-gone (although it did bring a premature end to my season of reporting) and The Towners exited those keenly anticipated play-offs rather meekly, at the first stage, away to the mighty Dulwich Hamlet. Since when, their then-manager (Brad Quinton) has also exited; in his case, stage left, pursued by almost his entire squad of ETFC players. Yes, Braintree Town of the National League made Bradley (and, in turn, many of our regular starters) an offer they apparently couldn’t refuse: to have a go at the next level up in the football pyramid - Tier 6. Enter, in Quinton’s place, “the experienced Andy Leese … [along] with former Premier League star Darren Purse, as his assistant” – facing up to the unenviable task of rebuilding a Premier League squad, virtually from scratch.

  

"Leese and Purse": somewhat surprisingly, perhaps, they turn out NOT to be an Edinburgh-based body-snatching, ruffian double-act. Sports fans with good memories may recall Mr. Purse from his blue-remembered days in top flight English football (source: ETFC website)

It turns out that 9 months is precisely long enough to change the club management team (and an entire playing squad); and to start rebuilding one non-league football club’s form, momentum and reputation. During those 9 months, fear not, gentle fan, I have been attending plenty of Enfield Town games (from pre-season friendlies, to league action and FA Cup runs); but I just haven’t had the front to impose my recent scribblings on you, my loyal reader (nor to impose my reflections on a whole new batch of players and managing staff, without getting to grips with them, myself, first).

I’ve also been a little distracted by becoming involved in the early stages of a new community club, within the Enfield Town family of Football Clubs. As a new, Over-50’s Walking Football team has come into tentative being – under the guidance of coach Ram Ismail. This new outfit operates under the tag-line “Enfield Town FC - Football For All Abilities”; and anybody who has ever seen me play will know this to be a very apt descriptor.

An hour's "comeback" activity, on the London Borough of Enfield’s newest FIFA Approved 3G playing surface, not only unleashes my "Inner Pele". It also yields more than 2.5 miles of exercise, apparently – “a good walk ruined”, as Sir Winston Churchill (or Gary Oldman) might have said, in his Darkest Hour. I hope to start bringing  you exciting coverage of action from ETFC’s 1^st XI play-off run-in again, very soon; and perhaps also the occasional view from inside their new, Over-50’s walking side, too. What has really prompted me to finally put e-pen back to e-paper today, however, is a little matter from the more rarefied air at the top end of English football’s ‘pyramid’…

The English Premier League

Keen sports fans amongst us may already be aware that video assistant refereeing (the somewhat Star Wars™ -sounding “VAR”) made its debut in competitive English football last week. Although that was ‘only’ in an FA Cup 3^rd round match, between Brighton and Crystal Palace (on Monday 8th January, 2018). For the record, Brighton won the tie by 2 goals to 1 and advanced to take on mighty Middlesbrough at The Riverside, later this month. That first use of “VAR” was soon followed up by its deployment in two equally meaningless cup fixtures, the same week: namely, the EFL Cup semi-final first legs between Manchester City & Bristol City and between Chelsea & Arsenal.

The BBC reported that, so far, “the reaction from managers, players and fans appears broadly positive”; but, they hadn’t reckoned with The Guardian’s nay-saying Barney Ronay. In an effort to be predictably controversial-ist (as ever) Ronay seems to have taken his finger off the pulse of “The People” and taken up a 'questionable' stance. Although his column appeared in Saturday’s “Guardian”, I suspect he already had most of his copy prepared very soon after the final whistle at Stamford Bridge on the Thursday … if not before.

After launching a thinly-veiled attack on the supposedly self-serving, evil fraternity of referees, Ronay focuses his attention on other negatives (it’s a proper, low-key rant!). For him, VAR (the high-tech, evil spawn of Darth Vader) supposedly “diminishes the experience of watching in the stadium”. That shouldn’t bother him too much, though; after all, he is richly rewarded for his time spent in the media centres of our major sports stadia. And, anyway, what proportion of the total audience does he imagine is represented by the meagre crowds actually attending those stadia, for each televised fixture taking place in them? There may be sound reasons to question the value and principles of VAR; but a rare pause in a game, for reflection after a critical incident, is surely NOT one of them. If the audience for a televised game were, say, a mere million viewers, then the 11,464 souls who would fill AFC Bournemouth’s ludicrously-named “Vitality Stadium” to the rafters would represent barely more than 1% of the total audience. OK, so I may have gone to a deliberate extreme by quoting the gate at a ‘tiddler’ club; but even Old Trafford’s maximum crowd (the largest in the EPL) would account for little more than 7.5% of a one million audience. Bear in mind also, though, that the minimum global spectator-ship for a Red Devils' match would, surely, be many times that paltry million figure. The Surrey viewing stats alone might hit the million mark.

Corry Evans: deemed to have grown an extra, invisible hand in his midriff. No doubt Northern Ireland's fans would have been upset by the notion of waiting, in order to see this infamous injustice adjudicated via video technology.

[See Ronay's original effort in full, here: Referees: the emotional game]

Mr. Ronay misguidedly goes on to whine that “the number of actual injustices, as opposed to disagreements, is minuscule”. He may be right on this; but it’s a moot point. Since it is not the number of the apparent inequities but, rather, the scale of their impacts that tilts the balance of Lady Justice’s famous footballing scales - and undermines the probity of The Game. It was as I reached this point in my spluttering rejection of all things Ronay-esque, that it finally dawned on me that our Barney might have written his piece before Friday. For instance, before the announcement that Romanian FIFA World Cup™ referee, Ovidiu Hategan, had belatedly, publicly accepted what the rest of the world (or, at least, the world beyond Switzerland’s borders) had already known for the previous 2 months: that his decisive handball decision against Corry Evans, in Northern Ireland’s crucial play-off eliminator, was patently wrong ... incorrectly giving the Swiss the opportunity to score the only goal of a two-legged decider, from 'the spot’; and yielding them unjust access to the supposed glories(?) of Russia’s tarnished World Cup finals, next summer. It was a refereeing error so heinous that Corry Evans was later moved to apologise for his wife’s heartfelt (ahem!) “tribute” to the Romanian ref. The tabloid media described her emotional outburst as a “racist rant” when, to be fair, all she did was summarise the feelings of most of Northern Ireland’s football fan-base – and those of most neutral observers. He ‘apologise[d] unreservedly’ for her publicly calling Hategan a “Romanian gypsy count!” At least that’s a version of her words I can more safely reproduce here. Perhaps Mrs. Evans was thinking of C*unt Dracula? See more coverage of that infamous World Cup Faux Pas, here.

"Should Have Gone to Specsavers?" - the linesman's entirely unimpeded view of Doucouré's scoring style was apparently insufficient for him to award a handball, against ... his brother-in-law(?). There's clearly no way Southampton fans would have put up with a delay, while this "goal" was reassessed.

Ronay’s embarrassingly erroneous conclusions were also clearly drawn up ahead of Saturday’s games; following which, The Guardian’s witty headline summed up the nonsense of yet another massive, costly, refereeing howler, made without the assistance of VAR: “Abdoulaye Doucouré Hands Watford Controversial Draw” [see what they did, there? Check out The Guardian's full Watford-Southampton match report, here].

Is it in any way just vaguely possible that VAR might have cleared up either of these recent injustices? And many others, too? And, if so, in this era of football-as-big-business, shouldn't that clarification process perhaps finally be allowed to outweigh the perceived negative of slightly delayed personal enjoyment, for the prawn sandwich brigade who are actually in attendance; the less than 1% watching from their over-priced seats in our soul-less, named-for-a-sponsor, edge-of-town stadia?

Make YOUR views vociferously known - comment on this post and tell the world what YOU think. When it comes to VAR, are you Barney's "Bestie" -
or, like me, a Ronay Rejector?

The BIG Questions - of Man, Morality and More

Enfield Town vs. Grays Athletic - 3pm k-o

Saturday 21st January, 2017 - Ryman Premier League

"… what I know most surely about morality and the duty of man I owe to sport and learned it in the RUA”* - Albert Camus, second-youngest recipient of the Nobel Prize for Literature 
[as quoted in an interview with an alumni sports magazine, in the fifties. Camus had played for RUA’s junior team from 1928 to 1930. Racing Universitaire d'Alger won both the North African Champions Cup and the North African Cup twice each, in the 1930’s.]

Goal-keeper Albert Camus, amongst his RUA team-mates.

When it comes to philosophy, The Beautiful Game provides answers to many of life’s BIG questions, it seems. Not everybody realises this; but Camus, apparently, did. He might have landed more football-related thoughts and sound-bites for our delight and delectation, had his hopes of playing continued football not been utterly dashed when he contracted TB; for which there was no cure, at the time. It didn’t kill him; but a car accident in the small, French town of Villeblevin did, at the age of 46. Ironically, in his coat pocket was an unused train ticket. He had originally planned to make that last, fateful journey by train, with his wife and children; but, at the last minute, he had accepted his publisher's offer to travel with him by car, instead. Whoops! … but I digress.

It is a rare event these days, that Fulham are weakened by international duties; but they have recently been in such reduced circumstances. Both Floyd Ayite and Neeskens Kebano have been away on Africa Cup of Nations duty; the latter is still in Gabon, as I write. Enfield Town, however, have had no such issues, you may not be surprised to hear.

Recently, though, The Towners did have the opportunity to answer one footballing question which holds ramifications for our reflections on life in general: “Is it better to face high calibre opponents, to thrive under stiff competition and overcome; or to terrorise and dominate a weak opponent?” This is a question which becomes particularly high profile during an FA Cup weekend; like the one we are currently facing into. When, for instance, non-league sides Lincoln City and Sutton United will host Brighton & Hove Albion and Leeds United; and Tottenham Hotspur will entertain Wycombe Wanderers. Respectively, 72, 84 and 70 league places separate each of these sets of competing teams. These are all true "David & Goliath" conflicts, in the tabloid sports media sense; which will, surely, excite any football-loving neutral - and extract significant odds against the junior side, in each case, from any self-respecting bookies (of which there is only a small number, I know!). Enfield's challenge had been far less extreme, by comparison; as they took on a side just 17 places below them; with much to play for.

Another question in the mix was “In either case, what qualities can one learn about oneself?” Deep; all very deep! There was also the added frisson of yet another over-arching query: as to whether a “January Sale” at the Donkey-Drome turnstiles could produce a significant increase in the crowd, on an unwelcoming winter’s day. From a purely commercial perspective, it would appear that better opposition generally provides greater attendance revenues and a more appreciative crowd; since the Enfield Town club management had decided to slash the price of tickets for the visit of lowly Grays Athletic. All of the above might suggest to some, after all, that (as the song wisely informs us) there really are More Questions Than Answers**.

With the admittance price halved to just £5 on the gate, it was clearly hoped that more spectators than might otherwise have been expected would turn up to seek answers to the above BIG questions. Would more Grays Athletic fans make the journey than might, otherwise, have been the case? Would more home fans turn out, to lend voice to the unending chorus, which The Towners tend to enjoy? Simple maths suggested that twice the normal attendance would be required for the home club not to lose out on this “January Sale” deal; but it’s difficult to second guess just how many of today’s attendance actually would have shown up anyway, to watch such apparently poor opposition, on a cold but bright January afternoon, without the inducement of that price reduction. For Grays, although this has mostly been a season to forget so far, with various problems both on and off the field of play, it has also been one which has seen their status officially change. Hopefully for the better; as they have recently become (like Enfield Town) one of the country’s few fan-owned outfits (“Grays Athletic officially confirmed as a Supporters owned/run community Football Club” – 2nd Dec. 2016).

At one point, it looked as though there would, at least, be twice as many Harneys as usual turning out for the game.  I guess, however, the fact that Cal decided even £5 was too much to pay for this fixture and chose to stay at home in the warm, highlights the scale of indifference which Town (and Non- League football, in general) must overcome to boost crowds and club turnover, even amongst a fairly receptive audience. The Towners are one of the better supported sides in this league. They are 7^th in the table of average home gates, with a current figure of 383. This may help give some sense of the precarious nature of club finances, “at this level”; particularly so for the 17 teams who sit below Enfield in that table of home attendances. When the official attendance was announced as a crowd of 575, it was easy to assume that this was more than might have otherwise attended without a price incentive. Town’s lowest attendance this season has been 232; which was for the visit of Lowestoft Town – one of only 6 teams who can boast a higher home average attendance than Enfield’s. The lure of Grays (or lack of it?) might well have given the Trawlerboys a run for their money in the stay-at-home stakes.

Grays travelling fans: the baker's dozen.

Town started the day 6^th in the league table, on 44 points; with a +20 Goal Difference. By contrast, Grays were in 24^th (and last) place, on 23 pts; with a -35 GD. They were unkindly dubbed “the basement club” by local Enfield paper The Advertiser (?); which I thought made them sound too much like the home of some emerging new form of sweaty dance-music. Although the Visitors were, indeed, 4 points and -5 GD adrift of their nearest rivals. Town also sat 7^th in the current (10-match) form table. They will probably need to get into the top 5 of this, at least, to maintain their hopes of a play-off berth. Whereas the visitors sit at a nose-bleed-inducing 18^th, in the same form table; which may yet offer the Essex boys some faint hope of league survival. More helpful stats are provided from a look at the respective club web-sites. Enfield have just one defeat in their last 15 league outings; and only one home defeat all season. Meanwhile, Grays have lost 5 of their last 6 league games; and have won just 4 of their last 18. They had, however, strengthened their side with the one-month loan from Barnet of young left-back Joe Payne; who had gained brief notoriety back in late November as the scorer of THAT goal from the half-way line, in the Middlesex Senior Challenge Cup, against … Enfield Town. It was to be hoped he wouldn’t repeat that trick again, for the benefit of his temporary team-mates.
(https://www.theguardian.com/football/video/2016/nov/23/barnets-joe-barnet-score-spectacular-goal-from-halfway-line-video). 

Kick-off at the QEII.

Elsewhere, 2^nd in the table hosted 3^rd (Havant & Waterlooville vs Needham Market) and 8^th (Worthing) hosted 4^th (Leiston) whilst Bognor, Dulwich and Tonbridge all face road trips – although, to be honest, none of those away games looked particularly “tricky”, on paper. Still, this weekend’s roll of the fixture computer’s ‘dice’ surely gave Enfield an enhanced chance to climb into the play-off places, by tea-time. An opportunity that was enhanced when the message “Match OFF following arrival of match referee” appeared alongside details for the Billericay - Dulwich game. In fact, Enfield’s would be one of just seven games played, out of the scheduled twelve Premier League fixtures. Another unexpected bonus for the Towners, then, might be an unexpected increase in fixture congestion for some of the teams around them. Incidentally, Enfield’s crowd of 575 was its largest home gate of the season – but STILL only the third largest of the day in their league … even though the number of fixtures was reduced from 12 to just 7. The Towners’ website was able to joke "No pitch inspection required in tropical Enfield. Beach wear optional!". They were also able to boast "Ales today from @RedemptionBrew and @newriverbrewery including the tasty Riverbed Red #forthebeards". So there was more on offer than just the answers to philosophical questions, to lure punters to the QEII Stadium. Which was probably just as well.

 A half-price £5 entry secured a healthy (home) crowd, at least.

Whatever happened anywhere else, however, The Towners priority would need to be ensuring that they, themselves, did not fall over, clown-like, on the improbable, slippery banana skin of their South Essex visitors. After entering the ground, buying a programme and checking the team sheet (posted beside the club shop) I made my way to the Eastern end of the ground and the SH Property Agents Ltd. stand. It was impossible not to discern the tell-tale pre-match smells of fried onions, liniment and nervous tension; and that was just from the kids playing kick-around behind the East stand.

The QEII's iconic South (Cafe) stand, holding up the setting sun. 

As early as the 5^th minute, Enfield’s fans were up to their old tricks/songs. First of all, trying to distract the visitors’ goalie, the exotically named Amadou Tangara; to the tune of “Whole World in His Hands”, it was noted that “He’s got the fattest ar5e – In the League … (repeat)”. There were sly references to Grays likely opponents in future Ryman seasons: “If you all love Stanway Rovers, clap your hands…”. Then the “January Sale” ticket price got a mention: “Here for a fiver – We’re only here for a fiver …”. It was less obvious what the referee was here for. Despite the visitors setting out their stall early on for a highly physical (and not entirely lawful) encounter, it took the official 17 minutes to produce his first yellow card of the afternoon. Although it was very belated – and the tone of the encounter had already been set by then - it would also, inexplicably, turn out to be his last card of the afternoon. So, unsurprisingly, the bottom-placed club continued trying to unsettle their far superior opponents with an “agricultural” approach, for the duration; whilst sitting deep and trying to score on the break, against the run of play. So, after 24 minutes of soaking up almost non-stop Enfield pressure, it was no surprise to home fans that Grays’ first meaningful effort was from all of 40+ yards out … Luke Wilson nearly catching Town ‘keeper Nathan McDonald out of position with a long-range effort, after his poor clearance, from wide on his right.





The anatomy of a free kick: conceded, set up and ... missed! Although that is not a wall Donald Trump would be proud of. Town (in white) apply first-half pressure; but what is Ottaway (#10) doing there? 

From early in the first half, the visitors were already wasting as much time as possible. Their goalie, in particular, was taking longer and longer on the ball with every back-pass and every clearance. That was until he was nearly caught with the ball, after 27 minutes, by Harry Ottaway’s eager, lurking pressure. Indeed, it was ALL one-way traffic, as Enfield pressed for their opening goal. It might have come after 37 minutes, when Tangara saved twice from Tyler Campbell and Ottaway. It certainly SHOULD have come after 42 minutes, when Micky Parcell drove in a great low cross for Ottaway, unmarked, on the far side of the Gray’s 6-yard box. It was amazing to see him unchallenged; but even more amazing to see the Enfield striker thwarted again, at close range, by Tangara. The half ended with a clear-cut chance for Grays. Their centre-forward, Mascoll, rose unmarked for a powerful, close-range header which he struck sweetly … high over the bar. It was impossible to know how he’d managed it. Despite total dominance, Enfield were happy to take a 0-0 stalemate into the half-time break; and slightly lucky to do so.

The second half started with some surprise pressure from the visitors; and a couple of chances (for Mahal and Kabobola) which were dealt with by McDonald. Soon Grays were trying to run down the clock with a couple of substitutions; but they mostly only resulted in unsettling the visitors’ balance. After 57 minutes, Bobby Devyne collected a through-ball on the left. Isolated, and in the absence of any obvious danger, Devyne intelligently threaded his way between a couple of defenders and rounded the advancing Tangara, before finally outwitting two more defenders who’d managed to get back between him and the goal. He slid an accurate final ball in to the far corner of the net to break the deadlock. It was his first goal since October; and could hardly have been better-timed, as nerves had been starting to jangle both on the pitch and on the terraces.

Bobby Devyne (in white) expertly rounds the exposed Tangara, before breaking the deadlock. (Photo: Tom Scott)

As a result, the game finally opened up significantly. Grays recognised the need to push forwards, in search of a goal of their own; but Town retained broad control of the game and now there was more space to play in. The hosts finally began to look comfortable after 71 minutes. Ottaway got his head to a Parcell free-kick from the right. He back-flicked the ball on for Crook, who had made an intelligent late run to the edge of the visitors’ 6-yard box, to strike a powerful volley back across Tangara, for his tenth goal of the season.

Enfield even had the luxury of wasting a penalty opportunity, late in the game. Substitute Dernell Wynter was brought down by a desperate Luke Wilson lunge from behind, inside the 6-yard box. Wynter dusted himself down to take the kick himself; but Tangara guessed well and got down low (and VERY early - see photo!) to his right to keep the score at a respectable 2-0. For all their multiple opportunities, Enfield couldn’t add another goal. They had to be content with 3 points, rather than the Goal-Difference boosting score-line their dominance of possession and territory might have merited. Tangara had single-handedly kept out at least half a dozen good efforts.

Tangara was a long way off his line before the penalty was even taken; but perhaps he deserved that little bit of good luck; after a mostly excellent display, which had kept his team in the mix for longer than they'd really deserved.

After the game, Enfield could look back on a job well done – if not prettily so. They still sit seventh in that all-important 10-match form table, having drawn too many previous games for comfort (indeed, they are the “drawing-est” team in the League, so far this season). They had at least, however, managed to avoid the ignominy of earning yet another draw with “the basement club”; a fate which, for far too long during today’s action, had looked an immensely possible outcome, against stubborn and well-organised opponents. Enfield still have to travel to Grays for the return fixture, on 25th March; and that could yet turn out to be a critical game, in terms of Town’s play-off hopes and final league position. They will probably need to show similar resilience and determination on that future March day as they did on this January one. Even if that is ALL the players and fans of ETFC learned about themselves this day, then the lesson will, surely, have been worth while

So, what ARE the answers to those big questions posed earlier? IS it better to face high calibre opponents or to terrorise weak opponents? And what qualities can one learn about oneself? Enfield may put their learnings to the test again this weekend, as they entertain Burgess Hill Town – who have won just once on the road this season. Town now sit 5^th in the table and are starting to look in control of their own end-of-season destiny; although mathematically there are still too many teams in the mix to be breaking open the champagne any time soon. In this case, in the hunt for a play-off place, the answer is that it was certainly better to dominate weaker opponents than to tackle strong opposition.

And what of Camus? His works are often interpreted as offering insights into The Absurd; and from his Wiki entry, it seems that football may have had an even more profound influence on him than that first, simple quote, at the top of this report, might suggest: “His work presents the reader with dualisms such as happiness and sadness, dark and light… He emphasizes the fact that happiness is fleeting”. If all of that is true of his work, then I suspect Camus would have fitted in rather well at Donkey Lane, with the Enfield Town fans. I just hope all of the squad are busy reading up on his works, as you read this. I believe that the study of Absurdist French Philosophy is, indeed, Bradley Quinton’s preferred pastime for his players, in between fixtures.

“Il n'y a pas d'endroit où l'homme est plus heureux que dans un stade" - Albert also said [“Nowhere is man happier than in a sports stadium”]. On Wednesday (when I plan to make my first visit to the hubristically-named “London Stadium”, to see West Ham United entertain Manchester City) I suspect I’ll be able to put this bold statement to the test, as a neutral ... if it truly IS a "stade" at all. Answers to this final question on the proverbial post-card, please.

Enfield Town: Nathan McDonald, Harold Joseph, Ricky Gabriel, Jon Muleba, Mark Kirby, Scott Shulton, Tyler Campbell (Samir Bihmoutine 79), Billy Crook (Percy Kiangebeni 88), Bobby Devyne, Harry Ottaway (Dernell Wynter 87), Mickey Parcell. Unused subs: Connor Bolton, Tom Collins.

Grays Athletic: Amadou Tangara, Ryan Mahal, Joe Payne, Lartey Sarpong, Nathan Campbell, Luke Wilson, Etienne Kabobola, Kwabena Osei, Jamie Mascoll (Lhereux Menga 52), Kieran Bishop, Joao Carlos. Unused subs: Harry Watkins, Jordan Aghatise, Terrell Forbes, Aaron Wickham. Booked: Campbell.

Attendance: 575

Culture-Vulture:
* Source/Notes: Herbert R. Lottman, “Albert Camus: A Biography” (1979)
** "There Are More Questions Than Answers" (1972) written and recorded by John Lester "Johnny" Nash, Jr. (b. 19/8/1940); American rock-steady singer-songwriter - one of the first non-Jamaican singers to record reggae music in Kingston, Jamaica:
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEstgTAXyec).

What exactly makes a "stade", though?

Could it be, at least in part, the philosophy-inducing sun-set views one takes in on the reflective, post-match walk home? Tick ✅

Eight Million New Enfield Town Fans? Now THAT's what I call "The Magic of the Cup"

Enfield Town FC versus Hitchin Town FC

The FA Cup, Third Qualifying Round
Saturday 10th October, 2015 – 3pm kick-off

"Magic" may, in fact, be rather too strong a word for what I witnessed when I attended this game. Hitchin Town's "Canaries" play at the same 7th level of the English football pyramid as Enfield; a sister league currently known as the Evo-Stik League Southern. One of the two sides would, of course, come unstuck in today's knock-out tie - unless there was a draw. In which case, they would require a replay at Hitchin, to be followed by extra-time and penalties, if events were not conclusive within the normal 90 minutes.

I knew something unusual was afoot as soon as I spotted THE QUEUE to get into the Donkey Lane ground, which stretched from the turnstiles, across the road and out into the car park - a Health & Safety executive's nightmare! OK, fair enough, so it was "Non League Day" in an International break weekend; and Hitchin Town had brought a decent following; but neither of these things fully explained the crowd of 883 who had turned out to watch The Two Towns go head-to-head for a lucrative minimum 'purse' of £7,500 winners' prize money; and that would be on top of the bumper gate receipts. This was the largest crowd ever seen at the QEII stadium for a competitive fixture; and far more than double the average gate. Unbeknownst to me, there had been a fair bit of pre-match publicity from the BBC, who were giving a trial run to "a 'Mobile Match of the Day Live' which is set to be a first for a major broadcaster in Europe – televising a 'fans’ eye view' of the whole experience of a football match using mobile phones only; from filming at the game, through streaming direct to the audience’s mobile via the BBC Sport website"  ... and all at little old Enfield!

Anyway, according to the BBC's pre-match blurb, Enfield was about to be become the epicentre of a veritable sports media maelstrom ("We’ll support the broadcast with a live page on the front page of the BBC Sport website, where we are likely to reach a UK audience of around 8m users across the day"). Now I don't wish to seem churlish; but I'm a fan of the club - and, if I hadn't gone researching reasons for the over-sized crowd, even I wouldn't have seen a single word of BBC coverage before, during or after the game. If I hadn't gone along to the ground myself, I wouldn't have known anything about it at all. I'm not sure if that makes it a successful BBC trial run, or not; but I'd love to have been in the lavish executive suite as a witness, when those involved and responsible were carrying out their self-serving post-event analysis / justification.

Interestingly(?) when offered the chance of similar media coverage in the next round, Football Club United of Manchester (you may have heard of them!) told the BBC, in no uncertain terms, to go shove it. Perhaps they had witnessed the alleged Enfield media maelstrom ... in a tea cup. Their club web-page explains their rejection, under the headline "Football is a sport, not a television game show" - see http://www.fc-utd.co.uk/m_story.php?story_id=6454

The large crowd might also, in part, have been a reaction to media revelations about the extreme cost of attending top flight games. "Cheap seats at the opera cost less than lowest price Premier League tickets" screamed the Guardian, as the BBC published its annual survey of football ground charges (http://www.theguardian.com/football/2015/oct/21/football-fans-protests-spark-outrage-over-ticket-prices).

Among other oddities experienced on the day was the sight of a number of unfamiliar gents roaming around the ground with expensive-looking camera and sound gear. Plus a variety of unfamiliar flags. One in particular seemed to suggest that Stevenage Borough fans had boosted the crowd figure and made the journey down the A1 especially, to cheer on the home side against their local non-league neighbours - which all appeared very strange to me! The emblazoned message (partially obscured by an inconveniently parked baby-buggy - it's just that kind of a club!) reads: "Against Modern Football".

Anybody who has seen Enfield Town play will know that we are, even at the best of times, broadly opposed to football in general and in most of its forms; but as for "modern football"? I don't suspect there's too much danger it will catch on round here any time soon. Unless it gets smuggled in surreptitiosly by some of our various visitors. Talking of which ...

"Not a Lot of People Know THAT!"

Hitchin's original club (Hitchin FC) took part in the inaugural FA Cup competition in 1871–72; reaching the quarter-finals before losing to the eventual runners-up, Royal Engineers. In 1905, Hitchin defeated Chelsea 3–2 to become the first away team to win at Stamford Bridge. Having turned professional during the early years of the 20th century, this early club folded in 1911, following that old bug bear "financial difficulties" - and a fire at their ground.

But that was THEN - and this is now! Today's Hitchin Town team looked on paper like a decidedly young outfit; especially at the back: GK aged 20; #2 19; #3 22; #4 21 ... making their #5, Dan Webb, seem like the veritably geriatric stalwart granddaddy of the side at the venerable age of 25. Yet it was the two defences which held the upper hand in the early exchanges - the first on-target effort not arriving until the 27th minute of the game. That was probably just as well for Enfield; since Hitchin very much held sway in the first half. Especially on their right flank through tricksy, flame-headed winger, #7 Johnny McNamara. Up front their #9 target man, John Frendo, seemed to be carrying the extra weight of a couple of pies too many; but along with his bulk, he also had about him just the level of rumbustious guile that could cause the home side pain and trouble, when they least expected it. Enfield arguably had the best chance of the half, though, when their own CF, #10 Harry Ottaway, failed to connect meaningfully with a header from a nicely flighted cross to the far post. Driving it downwards acutely into the ground, rather than at the gaping target of Hitchin's net.

My view of the match was not my normal one. With such a larger than usual crowd, even finding pitch-side rail-space with a decent view proved difficult in the first half; but I couldn't, ultimately, grumble with the spot I did manage to secure: including, as it did, the beautiful old main stand as a backdrop (see above). And it meant that I had a prime view of Hitchin's main threat, as McNamara tortured the Enfield defence right before my very eyes. Luckily, Hitchin's first half possession, pace, precision, persistence and pressure all came to nothing. The teams turned around with the score still 0-0; and Enfield happy to have maintained a clean sheet. 

Manager Brad Quinton was probably not so happy, though. He appeared to have 'had words' at half-time; and possibly a couple of tea cups of his own. Because Enfield came out of the blocks faster; with much more energy and a better game plan, in the second half. It truly was that well-worn cliché "a game of two halves", as Enfield rapidly achieved the dominant role that had been so elusive in the first period. This was facilitated in part by the replacement of diminutive #9, Dernell Wynter, with the returning Corey Whitely. Suddenly MacNamara's duties switched very much from attack to defence on Hitchin's right, to cover the threat of the lively Enfield winger.

The home support became increasingly vociferous as the game wore on. Enfield looked more and more the team most likely to break the deadlock. As ever, you can read more gory details in the club's website match report: http://www.enfieldtownfootballclub.co.uk/teams/65370/match-centre/2-29263.

Suffice it to say that for all the huff and puff of 90 minutes, there were no goals to show; and both sides would need to reconvene just 2 days later at Hitchin's "iconic" Top Field ground - a new 'stadium' for this intrepid reporter. It was very much to be hoped that Enfield could carry over into this next fixture the appetite of their second half performance, rather than that of the first 45 minutes. I wondered how many home fans would make the Monday night journey, as I hoped that the Enfield club's website headline would not come true, literally: "Towns to do it all again". Something would have to give, next time out.

The Magic of the Cup - part II: It was the Best of Towns; it was the worst of Towns
Hitchin Town FC versus Enfield Town FC
The FA Cup, Third Qualifying Round Replay
Monday 12th October, 2015 – 7.45pm kick-off

With apologies to Charles Dickens for paraphrasing his "Tale of Two Cities"; but, after tonight's action was concluded, we would finally know which town's team matched which part of that description. And which could bank an incremental £7,500 of prize money. Enfield's recent lucky mascot and winning omen, Callum, had joined me for the journey up the A1 to North Hertfordshire and a 'new' ground. So what could possibly go wrong? The pre-match medley, playing over the Hitchin tannoy system as we arrived included The Kinks' "Lola" from 1970 - a year when Top Field had probably already seen far better "Days" (1968). "It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world", Ray Davies sang; and who could disagree with him? We stood in the confines of a yellow-and-green-painted stadium, ready to take on 'The Canaries', kitted out in matching yellow and green? "Are - You - Nor - Wich - In - Dis - Guise?"

Floodlight horror "porn"; back-lighting makes the iconic trees at Top Field go all Stephen King-esque.

Did Enfield Town fans, arriving for the evening's replay in optimistic mood, realise that their club were unlikely to win the FA Cup outright? Surely the really big sides (like Forest Green Rovers) would just have too much for them, even if they were able to get past the mighty Hitchin Town. If so, they weren't letting on: "We're the famous Towners' Army and we're going to Wem-ber-ley - WEM-BER-LEY ... WEM-BER-LEY ...". While not quite as impressive as Saturday's record Enfield crowd (of 883) at the original tie, a healthy 486 brave souls had made the effort on a Monday night to take in the replay; and a good proportion were (noisily) in the Away end.
Cal inspects the Enfield club flag on the North Terrace in the first half. Enfield's "Ultras" form the backdrop.

Despite those bold assertions of the travelling fans, the first half at Hitchin started off just as the first half at Enfield had done: with The Canaries dominant and Enfield's performance strangely muted. To be fair, the standard of refereeing was at the now-familiar "dross" level; very much favouring the home side and generating hearty ironic cheers for the all-too-few decisions going in Enfield's favour. Despite failing to assert much control of the game, however, the visitors were clinging on manfully to their clean sheet ... right up until the 40th minute. Hitchin took the lead in extremely dubious circumstances. A throw-in conceded deep, deep inside the home half, almost beside the corner-flag, was quickly taken half-way towards the half-way line, without being spotted or penalised by the officials. The howls of outrage from the travelling supporters were quickly drowned out; as Enfield's #7 Ryan Doyle dwelt on a ball that he should have immediately despatched without ceremony over the stand and out of the ground towards Luton, for a throw-in. Attempting to make a yard for himself with some clever hip-sways, jinks and step-overs, he was dispossessed deep on Enfield's left by Hitchin's "tricksy, flame-headed winger, #7 Johnny McNamara" (yes, HIM again!) who cut the ball back sharply for the on-rushing Burns to fire home with aplomb: 1-0 - and it was hard to argue that Hitchin's possession and determination hadn't deserved the half-time lead they took into the break. Despite the ungentlemanly nature of THAT throw-in. McNamara had let Enfield off the hook as early as the 15th minute, when he had driven fat-boy-slim John Frendo's clever pass against McDonald's bar, with some venom.

Just as in the first tie, though, the competing teams' roles were reversed in the second half. The fans had changed ends; so had the teams; and so had dominance on the field of play. Enfield quickly established an advantage of possession and territory that had previously eluded them. With the away fans boisterously singing their praises, the men in purple first snatched an equaliser. After 65 minutes, Centre-Back Vilcu got up ahead of his challengers for a high ball, leaving the busy (and unmarked!) CF, #10 Harry Ottaway, with plenty of space and time to poke the ball past Hitchin's over-exposed 'keeper, Charlie Horlock - whose league experience with Wycombe helped him find and retrieve the ball, which nestled sweetly in the back of his net.

Ottaway levels the tie (photo:  Tom Scott)

A period of unrelenting Enfield pressure ensued. After a number of decent chances FINALLY came the go-ahead goal.  Devyne advanced with the ball on the left and, after drawing desperate defenders towards him, squared it for the big man Vilcu, who (not content with merely setting up the equaliser) drove it in without fear. Perhaps unsurprisingly, Hitchin heads dropped. They looked for all the world like a beaten team ... and so they were.

Vilcu sends Enfields travelling fans into Cup Heaven (photo:  Tom Scott)
After 80 minutes came a chance to finish the tie off for sure. Devyne found himself in the clear, with only Horlock to beat; but his on-target effort was blocked by the 'keepers legs. Although Gabriel also had a late chance, these were mostly nervous final minutes for the travelling support. Quinton made a couple of late changes to slow down and break up the game and introduce fresh legs; and Enfield's players showed their steel, holding on for a famous 1-2 away win ... and the chance of yet more Cup glory. The jubilant away fans sang so hard and so irrepressibly that they had run out of ideas long before the final whistle came: "E-ven your treez-are-sh*t!" (to Verdi's "La Donna è Mobile") was one of the more repeatable refrains. It was a fair result on balance. Enfield had showed True Grit and determination to come back from behind. Hitchin had, once again, lost their way in the second half.

Speaking to local North Herts. paper "The Comet" after the game, home manager Mark Burke said “I’m bitterly disappointed. I was really proud of the boys first half. We played some really good football and created a number of chances. We showed passion and desire and fully deserved to be 1-0 up. We could have been 2-0 up, and that’s what we needed to do – get that second goal. At this level if you don’t take your chances you will get punished and we have been.

“Second half I can’t put my finger on it. We didn’t play any football at all. We were really poor... I’m gutted with that second half performance. They got on top, I think maybe they’re a little bit they’re more experienced. It’s still a young team". Enfield were "the best of towns" after all, then. This Hitchin-tinted review confirms it:
http://www.thecomet.net/sport/hitchin-town-fc/canaries_are_knocked_out_of_fa_cup_by_enfield_1_4268824

And The Comet's match reporter also tweeted big respect for Enfield's '12th man', too: "Try telling the joyous @ETFCOfficial players & their vociferous travelling fans the #FACup doesn't mean anything".

The Enfield Gazette and Advertiser emblazoned a "Date With Destiny" headline across their back page, to publicise the club's reward for this gutsy win: another tough away tie; this time at Chesham United, on Saturday. The winners could face League opposition in the First Round 'proper'. The losers will clutch at straws; at maybes and what-ifs. It's so exciting! I just hope I can get in, to bring you coverage of the clash. Wiki tells me that their ground (The Meadow) only holds 5,000.

"We're the famous Towners' Army and we're going to Wem-ber-ley - WEM-BER-LEY ... WEM-BER-LEY ...". Well to Chesham, at least, which is only 24 miles from Wembley.

The Magic of the Cup - part IV: a short preview of Tuesday night's BIG replay

Enfield Town versus Eastbourne Borough
Tuesday 30th September 2014 - 7.45pm kick-off
THE FA CUP - QUALIFYING - SECOND ROUND ... REPLAY

I hardly expected to still be writing about the magic of the cup from Enfield's perspective, so far into the tournament; but The Towners earned a fighting draw, away at Priory Lane this Saturday. Their 'reward' is a replay tie this Tuesday night, at Donkey Lane, against their more senior Conference South opponents.

Eastbourne's crest features a stylised Martello coastal defence tower, from the Napoleonic war era; and a real backs-to-the-wall defensive performance was required to earn them the dubious honour of a midweek replay at the QEII.

Another non-league football blog (the long-established "The Cold End") provides excellent coverage of the first tie. I was unable to get along to the game myself, due to some visiting US relatives (see reference to Jack's pro-soccer initiation in my previous blog entry, below). I dropped them at Heathrow at around 2pm; but it was just about too late to make it down to the South coast for the game - and almost certainly too late to get a programme (again, see previous posts). By all accounts, Enfield were unlucky not to finish off "The Sports" at the first attempt - and missed a penalty, in the process ... whilst conceding one themselves, for the home side's equaliser. Despite more than 99 minutes of game time, neither side could find a winner. See details and highlights at http://thecoldend.blogspot.co.uk/2014/09/all-back-to-donkey-lane-on-tuesday-night.html


The mighty Sussex seaside team features plenty of experience. Coach Tommy Widdrington may be remembered for his top flight playing career as a midfielder with Southampton (before going on to join Wigan Athletic, Grimsby Town, Port Vale, Hartlepool United and Macclesfield Town) and he has been an assistant manager in the Football League at Southend United. The club boasts a smattering of Caribbean exoticism, too; with squad players claiming Dominican, Grenadan and Antiguan nationality. There is also some recent FA Cup pedigree. During the 2005/06 season, the club reached the first round of the FA Cup for the first time; holding League Two outfit Oxford United to a 1–1 draw at home, with winger Ollie Rowland, holding his nerve to score a 90th-minute penalty. Although the away replay was a different (and less memorable) story for the junior side.

Enfield's was just one of 77 fixtures (yes, it's a strange number!) played in the 2nd qualifying round of the FA Cup, on Saturday. Two more were played on Sunday (and yes, 79 ties is still a strange number!). So Enfield remain one of the many small teams whose (distant) dreams of playing the big fish, beating them and making it to Wembley remain alive. For now!

Meanwhile, and for those interested in the fates of 'other' Ryman League clubs this weekend, I can bring you the big news that Margate finally achieved their aim of exiting the tournament early, by cunningly engineering a 1-2 home defeat to Barton Rovers - a mid-table side from Division One Central of the Southern League (bad luck, Eric!). Margate fans can now focus their positive energies on Enfield's Tuesday night clash. Your intrepid reporter, of course, plans to be there; to bring you the big sporting story of the week.

Come On, You Town! Still living the dream ...

The Magic of the Cup, Part II - a gulf in class ... or a lower league club 'banana skin'? Which was it to be?

FA Cup 1st Qualifying Round - Saturday 13th September 2014
Enfield Town F.C. versus Felixstowe & Walton United F. C.

On a day that is a mathematical palindrome of sorts (or something!? - 14/9/14) I sit down to write a match report on a game that offered a resolution to some other gripping number problems. A knock-out football tournament, after all, is living proof that two-into-one just won't go - as the Ancient Babylonians, Egyptians and Greeks all knew only too well. This particular football-maths event, at least, was also a test of how much difference there is in 9-minus-7 - the respective tiers these two competing teams occupy in English football's league pyramid system.

Firstly, it is advisable to read my all-important pre-match prologue ("The Magic of the Cup? - Part I", see the previous entry, at the end of this post, below) before launching into this post-match report and all its associated philosophical musings; but it's a free world (at least in parts, still) so please yourself! The BBC (bless 'em!) were listing this fixture on their Sport webpage as taking place at The Goldsdown Road, a 'stadium' whose rusting doors Enfield Town Football Club have not darkened in nearly 3 years, now. So just forget those BBC amateurs. At last you've found proper coverage of non-league football. Welcome home! You've clearly come to the RIGHT place. A short note on camera memory might be helpful, here. Eagle-eyed regular readers of this page may notice a reduced image quality from my normal "very high standard", in some of today's photos. This is due to highly technical memory capacity issues. Mine, that is; NOT the camera's. The latter stayed at home for a welcome and well-earned, if unexpected, break from football action. Doh! While my 'phone had to fill the void. Badly.

Having worried myself with some un-nerving pre-match research into today's visitors ("The Seasiders" of Felixstowe & Walton United Football Club, from two steps down the English football pyramid) and their recent form (fairly impressive, especially on the road, especially in North London and especially against supposedly superior opposition) I approached today's game with some trepidation. After Town's own recent erratic form (W2; L2) I decided that a change of route to the ground might bring a (positive) change of fortune. Football fans can be a superstitious bunch; willing to try almost anything to secure success for their team. So I took a previously unused series of alleyways and crossed the New River a little South of my normal bridging point. Yes, you may well laugh at the planning that goes into these sorts of preparations; but it is upon such fine, footballing details that success is often gained and/or lost, "at this level".

In their previous outing on Non-League Day, billed on the club website as "Saturday 5th  September" (sic - it was, of course, the 6th) The Seasiders had crushed another East Coast seaside town's home team - Norfolk's very own Gorleston F.C. - 2-0. Despite a more than fair run of recent form, F&WUFC were evidently watched (at least some of the time) by the proverbial "three 'men' and a dog" ... scowling; and captured standing beside what was perhaps a descriptive or subliminal message hoarding - according to an image from their website match report.

As I turned right, after heading north-bound - rather than taking my normal left turn, after heading south-bound - off Ladysmith Road, I sauntered in dappled, mellow, Autumnal sunshine, down the leafy cut-through which leads past Enfield Ignatians RFC to the car park and turnstiles of the QEII Stadium; the home of North London football. At first I sensed - and later I could hear, from the animated crowd noises and the sharp blasts of a whistle, that I was going to miss the kick-off. Either I was late arriving at the ground (and I don't for a moment rule out this possibility) because of my hopeful, fortune-seeking, new route to the stadium, or the game was starting early. Either way, I missed the warm-ups and the first couple of minutes of action - and the chance to buy a match programme. It seems as though, for the visit of smaller clubs, ETFC officials reduce the size of the print run ordered. Certainly I've experienced this situation on a number of previous occasions; although, to be fair, that seems like common practice both home and away. While that may be a sensible move financially, it leaves some fans unable to read the platitudes of the club chairman and manager; pining for the small ads of local businesses and the player profiles of the visiting team in hard copy format, which they've probably already reviewed on-line, before the game. Fortunately, I didn't miss any goals, however. Apparently just a first-minute effort from Corey Whitely, which was blocked.

... I did, however, miss this impromptu, pre-match 'Hokey-Cokey'. Officials on the Enfield bench collectively and spontaneously turned their backs (some also folded their arms) so unbearably embarrassing a spectacle was it to watch.


At first it was difficult to see much away support at the visitors' end - and not just because of the dazzling, low sun in the late-summer sky. I could make out just nine lonely figures in and around the "SH Property" stand - and there was no sign of that dog. This might have been a signal that The Seasiders don't really have much of a travelling 'firm'; orperhaps it might just have been that those normally hardy and faithful souls had decided the result of this fixture was already a foregone conclusion - and not worth the hassle of the long return trek down the A12 from Suffolk and back. Certainly with three key, regular players missing ('keeper Jamie Stannard, midfielder Sheridan Driver and forward Bradley Barber) the welcome return of Stuart Ainsley and player-coach Danny Bloomfield to their roster may not have looked like sufficient reinforcement with which to take on higher-ranked opponents. The Cup, however, has been known to turn up surprising results.

"Is - that all - you - take - away?"

In fact, amid a smaller-than-normal crowd of 289, it turned out that things were a little cosier than usual over in the home end, since a small group of visiting fans had decided to pitch camp and hoist their flags in the 'wrong' end. This took the visible away support numbers up to about 15; and at least these folks wouldn't have to change ends for the 2nd half - when, perhaps, they expected their side to do most of their scoring. There was certainly little suggestion that anything had 'kicked-off' - apart from the game itself. So perhaps we truly are "All friends, in this Beautiful Game", after all, as the visiting side's club motto would have us believe. One previously unremarked aspect of following football 'at this level', is that the degree of excitement on offer allows school students (charged just £1 at the gate) a great opportunity either to play football behind the stand, or to catch up on their reading homework - see bottom-centre of photo, below.

Lost in Transalation? A small bevvy of unfamiliar red and white shirts, discovered in the Town end. Were they really checking their 'phones for GPS directions to the 'correct' away end?

In a hectic opening phase, for the first 15 minutes the action was almost all around the visitors' goal. Amongst several well-worked, attacking Enfield moves, defensive midfielder #6 Stanley Muguo roamed forward and, in his normal, deceptively languid manner, drove a spanking effort against the crossbar, with the diminutive visiting replacement goal keeper, Adam Dawson, rooted to the spot. Town's industrious #10, Corey Whitley, was seeking and finding a lot of the ball in these early stages; but unfortunately, several times, he got himself into a tangle, tripping over his own feet,  or over the ball, after finding promising-looking space. Ryan Doyle then also fired an effort against the Seasiders' bar, after a Campbell free kick. The Felixstowe club were decidedly under the cosh; and my hopeful flutter on the golden goal (a randomly-selected 40th minute) was looking unlikely to pay dividends. Surely goals would come flooding in, long before that stage of the game. One wag in the home end, offered some friendly support to the away team's guardian: "It's gonna be a long afternoon, keeper; you've got through the first 10 minutes, though". So small and young did the Seasiders' goalie appear to some home fans, that a traditional refrain was wittily adapted at one of his early goal-kicks. As he ran up and skied the ball: "ooooooooOOOOOOHHHHH - you're twelve, aaaarrrrggghh!". Shortly afterwards, as Dawson gathered one threatening through-ball cleanly, a home fan begrudgingly acknowledge that his effort had been "Not bad, for a little 'un!". A funny enough observation under most circumstances, in a non-league football context; but funnier still, when uttered at loud volume, in a high-pitched voice, by an 8-year old.

One 8-year old (centre, at railing) congratulates another (in yellow jersey, right).



The visitors' website post-match report later bemoaned the portents for their big day in the (comparative) spotlight: "Sometimes you get the feeling it’s not going to be your day and in the 9th minute ... Nathan McDonald [Enfield's GK] had to stretch at the far post as the ball dipped to turn it over for a corner. With defenders taking up their defensive positions at the posts the referee pointed for a goal kick, much to the surprise of both sets of players". To be candid, this was about as much as the away fans had to get excited about, in the early exchanges; and it was also a reflection of the typical standard of officiating 'at this level'. It was very good of the referee, Wayne Cartmel of Cumbria, to have come so far to help out; but, as usual, it hardly seemed to have been worth his while, given all of the effort required and his apparently failing eye-sight. And as for his "assistants"? Don't get me started! One of these, in particular, seemed over-awed by his responsibilities on this big occasion; clearly lacking confidence in his own capabilities, delaying raising his flag until he knew which way the ref had already passed judgment - and, when forced to adjudicate for himself, getting even the simplest of throw-in decisions consistently wrong, from the earliest moments of the game. Needless to say, nobody in the home crowd was in the least surprised, or amused, at this state of affairs. Normal service had simply been resumed. Their ridicule probably didn't help, though, either: "You don't - know what - you're do - ing!"

After 16 minutes, Enfield's #8, Nathan Livings, collected a ball 40 yards out, after some untidy midfield play from the visitors had lost them possession once again. With passing options to both his left and his right, Livings chose to go it alone, drilling a low shot across Dawson, from just right of centre, about 16 yards out. If he got his strike wrong, he would face the wrath of both those team-mates. Fortunately for all concerned on the home side, he comfortably found the inside of the net to the left of the goal. Town's players celebrated fairly reservedly, in front of chanting home fans; but it was clear they were relieved to have at last made their early pressure count. Were the home fans counting un-hatched chickens, as they joyfully sang "We're the famous Enfield Towners and we're going to Wem-ble-y; Wem-ber-leee! - Wem-ber-leee!"?

After 20 minutes, Town's keeper McDonald had to get down quickly to cut out a threatening ball across his area from Hewitt, with the visitors' captain, #10 Cranfield, lurking dangerously at the far post. After 24 minutes, their player-coach was guilty of a bad, late foul on Town goal-scorer Livings, in the centre about 25 yards out. A free kick was given; but it was the guilty party, Bloomfield, who came out of it worst off, appearing to get his studs caught in the playing surface (or Livings's flesh? - it was difficult to tell). Bloomfield stayed down for several minutes, receiving treatment and was to play no further part in the game, immediately limping off to be replaced by the surprisingly youthful-looking 18-year-old, #15 Ryan Birchfield. While play was halted, the Seasiders' #3, the experienced Stuart Ainsley, received bad news from one member of the home crowd, as he strolled deep into the goal net to retrieve a drink bottle and gulp down some fluids: "You're in trouble, Stuart; we know your name now". Somebody had obviously arrived early enough to get a programme and check off the team sheet on the wall by the club shop. Ainsley looked up and gave a resigned smile; appearing to implicitly acknowledge that his side was now facing a daunting uphill struggle. Luckily for Stuart and his team-mates, at the re-start, Liam Hope curled his effort just to the right of the right-hand post from the resultant free kick.

In the 28th minute, Whitely's trickery saw him ghost past several defenders, cutting both ways and into the area, where he was unceremoniously tripped by somebody else's feet, rather than his own, for once. The well-placed Mr. Cartmel of Cumbria clearly saw the incident - and gave neither the obvious penalty, nor the yellow card for "simulation" which should have been its obverse. Referee's, eh!? Cue howls of derision and, once again, the unkind (if largely true) "You don't - know what - you're do - ing!"

Despite the referee's best efforts, Enfield had total control, most of the possession and plenty of time on the ball, against clearly inferior opposition. All that was required was a second goal to, surely, kill the game off. A number of chances duly came Enfield's way. And went Felixstowe's! Muguo, Livings and Whitely were all guilty of wasting decent opportunities to extend that narrow Town lead. On 45 minutes the callow away sub, Birchfield, caught Enfield's LB, #2 Jordan Lockie, in mid-air with a late studs-first challenge. Though probably not malicious (a charitable opinion might allow that the challenge resulted from the youngster not yet being fully up to speed with the pace of the game) it was the clearest of yellow card offences, at the very least. Possibly more? It received just a stern talking-to for both the lad and his captain from the referee. Fulham FC's latest débutant, Matt Smith, was dismissed for less (and, arguably, with more provocation) at the Madejski stadium, on the same day; but I'm not bitter. Oh no!

With half-time looming - and deep into time added - a 49th-minute Enfield corner (their 7th of the half) was floated in from the right with precision by #7 Tyler Campbell's sweet left foot. Skipper Mark Kirby had plenty of time and space to judge his run to perfection, to soar, float and deliver an unchallenged, towering header downwards and into the visitors' goal, between the keeper and a defender standing on the goal line, near the right-hand post. Finally some breathing space: 2-0; and the cue for some strutting, chest-thrusting, fist-pumping celebrations from The Towners' inspirational #5, CB and lead-by-example captain. The 1st half ended with the visitors in need of some reorganisation and refocussing - not unlike the camera on my 'phone.

The 2nd half started more evenly balanced. Five minutes in and Town's McDonald had to come early and get down fast to collect a through ball at an opponent's feet, just inside the edge of his box. The visitors had clearly not yet given up all hope of reducing that 2-goal deficit; but the taking of chances is key to success. At the other end, Whitely (whose recent form has, reportedly, been attracting the attention of both Stevenage and Reading - regular readers of this blog page will, no doubt, NOT be surprised to hear this rumour, given Whitely's influence on and importance to the Enfield side - energetically chased a through ball into the right of the Seasiders' penalty area. Shoved by the chasing #7, Ryan Clark, as he reached the ball, Whitely showed solidity and strength to stay standing up, only to be fouled again by the same player, as he turned and prepared to strike an effort on goal. The away club's match report said the resulting "yellow card for Clark seemed harsh as he appeared to make a genuine attempt for the ball". It doesn't mention the previous contact, nor Clark's histrionic reaction to the referee's awarding of a (clear) penalty, nor the petulant man-handling Mr. Cartmel then endured. "Off! Off! OFF! OFF!". Cartmel's continued leniency signaled Clark's good luck; but there was none for Dawson, as Liam Hope fired home the spot kick, high to his left, beyond the keeper's despairing, flailing dive: 3-0. "Ba-aarrns-lee! It's just like watch-ing Barns-ley!"

Enfield continued to dominate play. There was little reaction from Felixstowe as they watched their (slim?) chances of FA Cup progression seep away. Town should have added a 4th after 58 minutes, when Whitely and Hope were frustrated first by Dawson's rapid reactions in racing off his line and then by #5 Rhys Barber, who kept calm and carried on as a looping effort gave him time to cover his keeper's hasty advance out of his area. Enfield's manager, Brad Quinton, clearly felt the lead and superiority were comfortable enough to ring the changes. He gave some valuable first team pitch experience to débutant Theo Jones, after 67 minutes, in a straight swap for solid RB Jordan Lockie. By now, Enfield could (should?) have already been several more goals clear of their tiring opponents. After 71 minutes, Jamie Smith came on for the relatively quiet Michael Kalu, adding a more muscular presence up front. Mitch Hahn also replaced the lively Nathan Livings after 75 minutes when, presumably, all risk was considered spent from the game,

Liam Hope's persistence saw him latch onto a through ball after 74 minutes, in the central channel. His clumsy control was only marginally better than Clark's clumsy challenge from behind and to his right.. Hope went to ground to earn what was, to be fair, a soft second penalty award. Up went the shout from the home supporters again; more in jest than in earnest this time: "Off! Off! OFF! OFF!". Referee Cartmel duly obliged, flourishing a second yellow card, to be swiftly followed by a red one; and signalling 'an early bath' for the visitors' naïve #7. The slightly stunned crowd went silent in surprise and relief, after an initial, derisory cheer. Hope despatched the spot kick again, although this time to his right, with Dawson getting finger tips to the ball. Enfield now had a 4-0 lead; against tiring 10-man opposition; from 2 leagues below. The result finally looked fairly secure. It was even more so, when Hope added his third to make it 5-0, sending a fine strike through a crowd of players, after receiving an inside pass centrally, from the promising-looking sub LB, Jones. That hat-trick goal for Hope apparently puts him just one goal behind 'club legend' Rudi Hall (who retired as recently as the end of the promotion-winning 2011-'12 season) at the top of the club's all-time leading goalscorer list. A list he will, surely, soon enough bestride, like a mighty, mercurial colossus. The five-goal margin of the match was not unduly flattering to the home side.

Oops! Clark (in red, #7) gives the referee yet another (incorrect?) decision to make; and also gives Hope (white, #9) another chance of edging further towards coveted club top-scorer status.


So that tricky FA Cup banana skin had been avoided with aplomb. The gulf in class duly demonstrated. The Seasiders' match report acknowledged they had "never really matched their higher league hosts for skill" (not an attribute Enfield's players are too frequently accused of) before going on to state the obvious: that "Wembley was never a likelihood in this competition", No sh*t, Sherlock! Although we can all dream, I suppose. The Suffolk club's honest endeavour was never going to be anything like enough, on its own; and even that effort waned, as time wore on and the junior club's players tired. Before the game, our manager had told local reporters “It would be fantastic for the boys if we could have a good run. I’ve played in sides who’ve made it through to the first round and have come up against Tranmere Rovers and Shrewsbury Town. It’s just a massive buzz taking to the field in games like that, and I would love for the boys to get that sort of experience.” Towners fans will now be hoping that a lucrative cup run might, indeed, see them edge towards the glittering allure of mighty Football League opponents. That would help to finance a much-needed squad building exercise. How might such opposition fare at the daunting Donkey-Drome? Perhaps the giants of Carlise, Exeter, Oxford or Accrington may come a-calling soon, so that we can find out? Then again, perhaps not.

A helpful note to Margate fans: spot the difference.
   
One consolation for North London's finest was the news that Tuesday evening's scheduled league opponents ('high-flying' Margate FC) had failed to dispatch lowly, local Kent rivals, Folkestone Invicta, in their FA Cup tie on the same day. That high-profile failure requires a Tuesday night replay of their match; postponing our planned mid-week league clash and increasing the Kent side's early-season fixture congestion issues, at least a little. It also puts off our league meeting until, perhaps, Margate's early-season form has faded a little - and also until, perhaps, Brad Quinton has secured some much-needed reinforcements for his squad. We live in Hope - as ever. Come on, you Towners!

More non-league news to follow soon, sports fans.

Towners: Nathan McDonald, Jordan Lockie (Theo Jones 67), Joe Stevens, Ryan Doyle, Mark Kirby, Stan Muguo, Tyler Campbell, Nathan Livings (Mitch Hahn 75), Liam Hope, Corey Whitley, Michael Kalu (Jamie Smith 71)
Unused: Luke Illsley, Phil Kane, Brad Quinton

Seasiders: Adam Dawson, Lewis Pemberton, Stuart Ainsley, Josh Hewitt, Rhys Barber, Dan Davis, Ryan Clark, Matt McKenzie, Danny Bloomfield (Ryan Birchfield 26 – Jamie Cole 75), Ben Cranfield, Tom Dew.
Unused Matt West, James Ross, Paul Cudworth.

Referee: Wayne Cartmel – Cumbria.
Assistants (an over-statement, in their case): Thomas Harkin, Matt Borg.

Attendance: 286